Unleashing the Er

Er. Er, as in er.

Er. It’s a Filipino gay term which sort of refers to people, usually men in particular, who engage in manual labor. The construction worker, the carpenter, the janiter, the garbage collecter, the plumber, the driver and so many others. As you notice, all very manly professions. That is the er.

Lately, I’ve been struck by the urge to be er.

I’ve always been a pretty handy and resourceful guy. I remember when I was younger, I used to fix my little cousins’ toys armed with just a screwdriver and a bottle of white glue. And I was pretty good at it.

Eventually, I graduated to more manly stuff, being able to put those assembly-required pieces of furniture together very easily. At some point, I would laugh impishly at the fact that I was manlier than my straight brother in that aspect.

And today, I have a pretty adequate set of tools. In an actual tool kit. Not even one of those tool kits with nail polish and make-up inside, okay? I have screw drivers, pliers, chisels, a saw, a tape measure, brackets and screws, electrical wires, screws, nails and washers, hinges and latches, a pair of those Gryptonite wrenches they sell on TV, and even an electrical drill, a soldering iron and a jig saw. Nay, bading ba talaga ako?

I’m not sure if my science and engineering background helped at all, but I am self-learned in basic electricals, plumbing, carpentry, painting, and other atypically gay stuff. Very, very er.

For my latest project, I wanted to install an exhaust fan in my room, supposedly in time for the hot summer days. I had it all planned out. I had measured an upper window and bought an exhaust fan that could fit in it. All I needed to do was remove a part of the glass pane to make way for it.

In my imagination, I knew what I needed to do. But of course, things don’t always go according to plan. I first wired an electrical outlet and a switch to power the exhaust fan. I had bought myself a diamond-tipped glass-cutter at the local hardware, but was really unsure of how easy it was going to be. Cutting glass was not something I had done before. But I was hell-bent on trying.

I knew how dangerous glass could be, and I wasn’t planning on ending up with any open wounds that could get infected and stuff. So I took as much caution as I could. I had scored part of the glass pane to get it ready to break easily. A couple of taps with a hammer, nothing. I whipped out my chisel, and whacked it with that and the hammer. I heard a crack. Supposedly good, but... I ended up breaking the whole pane of glass instead. Oh, well.

Not to be beaten, I slowly removed every bit of glass from the window, including the wood molding that held it in place. With that out of the way, I installed the exhaust fan and just covered the exposed part of the window with a piece of plywood. Looking at it working now makes me think, pwede na.

It was a tough job, but someone had to do er.

Now almost a month later, the only thing left is for the wound I sustained to heal completely. Believe me when I say it was pretty bad, as I witnessed it go through a spectrum of Christmas colors, from blood red to pus green. Eeew.

So what caused it? Was it a shard of glass? No. Was in a splinter of wood? I wish. It was... gasp... a paper cut. Sigh.