Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

D Kumare

kumareThere’s just something about this month of May that’s been keeping me on my toes all the time. I’m not sure if I should be relieved or not that it’s finally coming to a close.

But one good thing that happened in May was that I met someone. I met Mr. D.

D started off stalking this blog in April probably. We chatted for just a day or two, if I remember right, before we talked on the phone. The first really memorable conversation between D and I was actually... phone sex. Teehee. O, don’t judge us, we were just having fun.

For me it was certainly the safest sex that could be had. For him it was just red hot fireworks to usher in my special day. So certainly, there was some sexual tension between us. And thanks to Yahoo! Messenger and unlimited calls, we kept in touch. No commitments or anything of that sort, mind you.

Shortly after, we decided to meet. He offered to pick me up after work. As I spotted the make and color of the car I was looking out for, I hopped in. He had always been modest about his looks, but as I lay my eyes on my new friend, he was as hot, sexy and yummilicious as I thought he would be. Roarrr.

D and I had a scrumptuous dinner of my favorite pizza and pasta combo, and a lively chat over some juice to cap off the evening. And then it was confirmed. I had fallen... I had fallen into the kumare-zone. Hehehe. Well, more like he put me there. I still pegged him as my hot, sexy and yummilicious friend. Nothing bad about that, right?

So anyway, after that, we still kept in touch. D and I would always be badgering each other daily over YM, mostly just joking around and making fun of people and each other. And because we had developed an air of comfort and trust between us, he was one of those who stood witness to my May mood swings, including the time I fell sick and my emo-bitter moments. I reckon he’s a professional okray-therapist.

I’d like to believe I was there for him as well, as in one conversation we had, he mentioned he’d been wanting to get tested for HIV for the past year or so, but never had the guts to. He admitted he’d never gotten tested before, and certainly had some reasons for concern. So I promised I’d accompany him to get tested at the RITM, as I’d need to go and get a med refill anyway.

I accompanied him Monday to get tested, and he accompanied me to get my ARV supply. It was pretty straight forward, although I did go through a couple of prayers while his blood was being extracted. Contrary to expected, I still do not like finding out people are HIV-positive. It’s still not a case of the-more-the-merrier.

I got tasked to badger Ate daily after that to check whether the results were ready. D and I both had the freaky notion that if the results weren’t out within the week, something must be wrong. Hehehe. I think my paranoia rubbed off on him.

Finally, Friday came. Ate had advised me beforehand that the results should be ready by then. I took the afternoon off from work to go with D. We had lunch prior to going, but he really didn’t have an appetite worrying about his results. Getting there, we waited impatiently at Ate’s desk for the results. D’s anxiety was making me anxious as well. He was unusually quiet, and I just didn’t know how to appease him. Finally, someone delivered a couple of envelopes to Ate. I recognized D’s codename on one of them.

Ate called him over to one of the other desks. Initially he had wanted me to read the results for him, but I told him he had to do it himself... besides I couldn’t take the tension either. I watched his reaction from afar as Ate opened the envelope and showed him the results. All I saw was it seemed he felt the needed to sit down after seeing it. Was it good? Was it bad? Geez, I needed to know.

Non-reactive. Negative. D heaved his sigh of relief. I did too. And we hugged. I got what I had been praying for... his negative result... and the hug na rin. Hahaha.

It didn’t take long before D snapped back to his fun old self. And since he would still need a follow-up test to cover the window period, I needed to ask if he felt it might be easier going for the second test. I had no reference of my own, because I never got to a second test, remember?

For now, D and I remain good friends. I think we’ve fallen further into that kumare-zone where we no longer have reputations to live up to between us, and we’ve managed to share all our dirty little secrets. Well, almost all. Getting there, I guess.

We even have some magic words which just crack us up, like pakbet, belt, carwash, and thighs. Hehehe. Don’t even ask. But really, considering it’s been barely even a month, I do hope this is just the beginning of a happy, comfortable, and fun friendship. D. My friend. My kumare. My source of okray-therapy. Hot, sexy, yummilicious D.


Anonymous said...

kinikilig ako.

Yun lang. ktnxbye. :D

PS. I know, I know, friends lang kayo. Wag mashado defensive. ;))

Anonimus said...

Yes we all need kumares. To have someone okray you without fear that he might offend, or for you to get okrayed and not be offended...Rare. And a relationship to be treasured.

Kumares and sex don't mix well, and I wouldn't have it any other way. =) It just seems unnatural, incestous, against the laws of nature. Tatamaan ng kidlat at lalamunin ng lupa.

PinoyPoz said...

@rubypurple: lagot ka sa akin talaga!!!

@anonimus: di ako takot sa kidlat at lupa. bwahahahaha. ooops. ok fine... kumare na lang kung kumare.

Anonimus said...

On the other hand, meron daw statistics about the percentage of civil cases leading to annulment and legal separation wherein aggrieved party accuses wife or husband of concubinage with a close family friend; this being, in a majority of instances, the kumpare or kumare.

So you see, the tension will always be there. Nyahahaaaa...

Anonymous said...

hi,we just lost a dear friend this morning due to multiply infections in his body. He was tested HIV+. His best friend game me this site...said maybe I can approach you to take active steps towards awareness and provision of support system for the family and friends of an HIV+. I don't know much and I want to advocate for people to understand more. -

PinoyPoz said...

Sorry to hear that. My sincerest condolences. Certainly, I will be in touch.