Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

One Fine Day... Part 2

One Fine DayGetting to his hotel which was a short walk from the MRT station, I walked up to the elevators. I stepped in and pressed 6. I remember looking at myself in the mirrored elevator walls, nodding my head and saying to myself What am I doing here? But there was no turning back now. I walked down to the end of the corridor and went straight to door number 645. I took a deep breath, and knocked.

As the door swung open, there he was – the total hotness of him – in the flesh and smiling at me. And a lot of flesh it was, as he stood half-naked in just a pair of shorts. He led me in, shut the door and grabbed me in a tight hug, saying how he couldn’t believe I was there with him. Am I dreaming?

We sat down on the bed, he took my hand in his and we began talking, during which he never broke eye contact. I felt like I was melting in the light of his hard stare. What was he seeing? He interrupted me in the middle of one of my sentences and asked permission to kiss me. I felt faint as he leaned forward and took me in his arms, passionately engulfing my mouth in his.

He stood up and dropped his shorts and his underwear. I took his cue, stripping myself down to my skivvies. And soon, like a panther, he pounced, resting me on my back and laying his hard body on top of me. “Is this okay?” he asked. “Of course,” I answered. From then on, we just did what came naturally.

I’m sure no one would be interested in hearing all the sordid details. I will not go TMI. All you need to know is that, for a brief moment – well, half an hour to be exact – I felt like the me I was before, prior to HIV. Wild... raw... carefree... uninhibited. At the end of it all, we were left with a lubey mess on the floor and a condom full of passion.

From there, we showered and got dressed, as the driver was due any minute to pick him up. He asked that I run his errands with him if I had no other plans for the day. Sure. We reached the lobby just as the van drove up. As we hopped in, he took my hand in his, weaving his fingers into mine. I stared at him smirking with disbelief as he discussed our itinerary to the driver, to pick up some colleagues, have lunch and drop them off. Noticing me looking at him, he snuck in a peck on my lips, not even caring if the driver would notice.

During the whole trip, he hardly let go of my hand as I sat beside him. He told of how his close pal had AIDS and died some years ago and I understood where he was coming from, causing me to hold his hand even tighter. Even in the company of his colleagues, he made sure we sat at the rearmost seat of the van just so they wouldn’t notice our mischief. Finally, after lunch, we dropped his colleagues off at their hotel. With my hand still in his, he told the driver to head to Makati, where he needed to pick up some stuff at the mall.

Getting there, he just told me to wait at the lobby of the mall while he went to run his errand. I was wondering if this was his way of losing me or something... I would not be me if I wasn’t paranoid. But of course, he proved me wrong, as I spotted him strolling back towards me after about fifteen minutes.

As we waited in front of the mall for the van to pick us up, I opted to make my gracious exit, saying I should head home so we could both get some rest for the week ahead. I thought, quit while you’re ahead. I just needed to grab my bag from the van so we could go our separate ways.

The van took a while to pass by, which gave me time to thank him for the wonderful day. L expressed his delight as well, and said that he wanted to kiss me right there and then if he could. Don’t dare me, I half-joked. Not to be beaten, he called his own bluff. And amid all the passing vehicles and crossing pedestrians, we leaned in for a quick smack on the lips. It was like a movie scene. Dreamy.

As the van stopped before us shortly, L hopped in and reached me my bag. We said our goodbyes – for now, at least – but not before kissing each other on the lips again, something I’m sure the driver noticed this time. And with that I shut the door of the van and waved goodbye.

Walking away, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, which suddenly turned into a grin when I realized that we scandalized the guard at the door of mall with that last kiss, as he looked at me from head to toe and conferred with the lady guard beside him. I’m pretty shy, but oddly enough, I’m not the type to get conscious of things like that. Not at this point, at least. Kissing a guy on the lips would just pale next to the other shameless things I’ve done in my lifetime.

So with that, the day came to an end. More than the sex, I enjoyed every minute we spent together. All 300+ minutes of it. The time with L left me with the thought that this is the kind of guy I want. This is the kind of guy I deserve. Simple, sweet, sexy and smart. Someone who will respect and accept me completely – HIV and all. And this is the kind of relationship I want. This is the kind of relationship I deserve. Something effortlessly fun and happy. Where HIV is a non-issue.

For now, L is back in Mindanao, and though we have not made any commitments to each other, we’ve been in touch. We’re apart, but I’m happy. He’s been making more than enough effort to stay in touch. Personally, I look forward to seeing him again sometime and spending more time getting to know him. But if at least, I was honored to have met a guy like him, and appreciate how he made me realize my self-worth... something I’ve been needing for sometime now.

Thank you, L. Thank you for that one fine day. May it not be our last.


Anonymous said...




PinoyPoz said...

You impressed me Ruby! That was fast! Hehehe.

I now christen you... STALKAZONA! Hugs!

Tristan Tan said...

Happy for you. :D

Anonymous said...

*is revived*

got a headache from trying to imagine the hotel incident... di kinaya ng imagination ko... hahaha... :D

But the kiss! THE KISS! I would have screamed like a fangirl if I saw that...

Next time, if ever L is coming back to Manila, gagawa na ko ng welcome banner... I'm an expert when it comes to being a fan girl... Hehehe... :D

I may seem like a broken record but I'm so happy for you hun... :D You deserve this and more pa... :)

You know naman na I'm so kinikilig for you and I can feel how happy and contented you are now...


your pimp also known as stalkazona... :D

PinoyPoz said...

Hehe thanks Tristan... I'm happy for you, too... I want flowers din. Hahaha inggitero.

PinoyPoz said...


john stanley said...

better late than never.

happy for you, poz. good to know that you've found your happiness at last. and you're right, you deserve it.

wanderingcommuter said...

too much sweetness in the air, it makes me bitter!!!

hehehe. jk!

happy for you!

PinoyPoz said...

hehe, sige na, gimme a break naman... :-)

thanks wandy!

bampiraako said...

One fine day nga!

Happy for you..

BadPapiNYC said...

napagod. nanginig. masaya.
good for you buddy *wink*

PinoyPoz said...

@bampira: Salamat!

@BadPapi: Yan ba ang summary ng entry ko in three words? Hehehe. Wink!

Anonymous said...

im so envious of that one fine day... after days, weeks of emo moments, you ve treated yourself to the fullest... this is me- the anonymous one who summed up your blog into one - according to you...

i can feel the overflowing happiness in you. may it serve as an inspiration to all- with or iwthout hiv, everyone still deserves to enjoy the life that we have.

i look forward to reading more entries about you and l soon...

pinoypoz, please expect more comments from me from now on as i really enjoy reading your entries as you open yourself to us more... thanks a lot..

please call me- daned.. thanks... take care always.. God bless...

PinoyPoz said...

Thanks Daned! I appreciate the encouragement! Godbless!

Ryan said...

ako ulet... hehehe...

kainggit! joke :)

so happy for you! i wish you both well. :)

Anonymous said...

how should i call you here? im thrilled reading about our one fine day. im so glad that it made you happy as it make me smile up to now. if only my province is near your place, i could have been there and give you hilot when you got sick this week, i give good hilot kasi. i just hope you are all fine now. will call you tomorrow to check if you are ok. pls take extra care of yourself not to get sick again.
i miss you and i wish i can cuddle you when you are not feeling well, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

PinoyPoz said...

O... M... G...
L!!! It's L!!! Si L!!!
Haaaaay... Heaven.