It's that time of year again. The time of the year when the company that I work for needs to renew its sanitary permit with the city government. Not such a big deal, really, considering that all they usually need done is a chest x-ray. I'm not sure if they're looking for tuberculosis or pneumonia or what, but so far, I haven't encountered any real problems associated with HIV. So why exactly am I blogging this? Let me tell you why.
This is also the same time of the year that the company chooses to have us, its employees, go through our annual physical exam. The APE is actually part of the benefits we get from our Health Maintenance Organization, or HMO.
Considering my fear of needles, I never really got to go through an APE. The pre-employment medical exam, yes. But the APE, never. Not even before I found out I had HIV. I would always rather go to a private clinic and have to pay P200+ for a chest x-ray, just so I wouldn't have to go through the rest of the tests involved in the APE.
So you can imagine, all the more now, that I know what I have a gang of STDs, I will do absolutely anything to get out of having to go through an APE. I know, I know, R.A. 8504 protects me by prohibiting mandatory HIV tests. But that’s all it does. When it comes to my hepatitis B and my syphilis, anything goes.
I’ve actually sworn off accessing my HMO benefits altogether, until such time that I absolutely no longer have a choice. Why so? Am I wasting the freebies that I might possibly be entitled to? For now, I choose to waste them.
You see, part of my work has me involved in some administrative functions in the office. And part of that entails handling transactions with our HMO service provider. Not everyone may know how the HMO system works. I’ve been fortunate enough to.
HMOs charge a monthly health insurance fee per employee. A fee which, in my case, is shouldered by our employer. Up for annual renewal, the fee paid for health insurance gets recomputed, based on the previous year’s usage of benefits. Ergo, the more health insurance benefits that the company’s employees avail in the previous year, the higher the health insurance premiums charged for the following year. It’s a business, after all. They need to make money.
As part of this reassessment of their services, HMOs send a summary of usage to the administrative unit of our company. It’s a summary, but it’s detailed. Complete with the names of employees who availed of medical benefits, dates, consultations, and findings. Now if you’ve got nothing to hide, then all is good. But for me, I’d rather not be prematurely and unnecessarily disclosed for needing to consult my posse of STDs.
Basically, there’s no fine line dividing the transparency between the HMO and the company as client and service provider, and the medical confidentiality between doctor and patient. A line, or the lack of one, which not everyone may be aware of.
Now if you’re paying for your own medical insurance, then it’s fine. But in some cases like mine where the employer pays for the medical insurance of the employee, then they become part of the equation. Of course, I’m not saying others like me should forego medical insurance benefits. Just consider yourself more equipped to make an informed decision. My personal opinion? HMO? HMP!
Alright? Ok, you can lighten up now. Just stay healthy, my friends.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
HMO? HMP!
Friday, December 12, 2008
A Positive Christmas
It was Friday, but I took the day off from work. I still woke up early though, to take a trip to the Social Hygiene Clinic to get the results of my Quantitative RPR. Nothing alarming, just part of the monitoring for my syphilis.
From there I headed straight to my favorite barber who gave me my signature semi-kalbo, after which I treated myself to a hairspa. Having not that much hair left and having a hairspa doesn’t make sense, but I mostly do it for the massage that comes with it. It borders between being extremely relaxing and slightly arousing. I don’t even know if he’s really good at it, or if I just find him that hot. It feels so good that I get chills down my spine. And so much chills that I get confused whether I’m truly aroused, or just need to pee. Mmm.
It was just 11:00 am. So did I take a leave just to get my lab results and treat myself to a haircut? No, of course not. That was just the beginning. All in preparation for a big day, my first Christmas Party at the RITM.
I was feeling good today. My face was cooperating, with my breakouts taking a bit of a break. Even my sniffles were in on it, as my runny nose held up for the day. Okay so the haircut was half because I needed it, and half because I wanted to make a good first impression. Good impression, my ass! Was I planning to flirt?! No, not planning. Let’s just say I was open to the possibility. No, no. More like I needed to feel confident. Whatever.
I was able to convince U to go, so we went together, buying some pitchi-pitchi and some bread and dip on the way, for our contribution to the potluck celebration. Coming from all the way north, and going all the way south, it was expected that we’d be late. Let’s just say call time was 10:00 am, and we got there at 1:30 pm. Talk about Filipino time.
Walking in to the tune of Hep-Hep-Hooray being played by some of the pusits, I carefully stayed unnoticed while I looked around, wondering if I’d see someone I wasn’t expecting to see. Someone who I’d made contact with, who I didn’t know had HIV, too. Fortunately, other than the guys and some gals I’d met at the RITM and San Lazaro before, our resident counselor, the Doctor and the Ates, no other familiar faces. A big Whew! from me.
After a run down the buffet, I sat down and faded into my wall flower mode. Quiet, insignificant, observant, hiding behind a huge column in the middle of the hall, away from all the action. I looked the crowd over a second time between bites, checking everyone out. I have been asked by others if there really are a lot of hot guys there. I just tease, saying SECRET! I’m sorry you couldn’t make it! Hehehe.
And, though it was a party, and as much as I’d liked to share the experience, I didn’t expect any pictures to be taken. I myself opted against bringing a camera with me, from fear of the pictures having to look like this...
That aint lookin' so Christmasy, huh? Hahahahaha.
But more importantly, other than a couple of guys I noticed in face masks, everyone looked every bit normal and ordinary as the rest of the world. There were guys, there were girls, even guys who looked like girls... nothing new to me. There were kids running around, some RITM personnel hanging out and some affected friends in the mix, so much so that no one could probably identify correctly who was HIV positive and who wasn’t. I couldn’t tell myself just by looking.
I just had a moment of bother when one guy was introduced to me. It was a guy who I’ve mentioned in one of my posts before, and not in an entirely good way. Let’s just say I gave my honest opinion not expecting to meet him face to face. But he was nice enough to smile and say something to the tune of yeah, I know him already, which left me speechless. I realize I’m treading the waters between fame and notoriety as The Blogger. Good thing I snapped out of the paranoid spell soon enough.
From across the room, I noticed someone looking my way. It was Baby Nathan’s dad. He cradled the Baby who seemed frightened by all the noise, flashing his familiar smile. I was caught off guard by how he recognized me from that far away, but I nodded and smiled back, and understood, they were doing okay.
A young lady walked by, a couple of minutes later, shook my hand, said thank you and walked off. I later realized she was the Baby’s mom, who I was seeing and meeting for the first time. It was surprising how young she looked, but again refreshing how positive her aura was, even belting out more than a handful of songs on the videoke machine.
Daddy walked over to my corner a bit later, updating me that the Baby was doing fine. The Baby was taken off the ARVs that were causing him fevers, and was shifted to my same pills probably, which he apparently melts in his mouth like candy. Yum. I thought to myself, now he’s really getting his childhood back. I couldn’t help but smile.
Several videoke songs, a fabulous production number from a t-back bearing babe, a couple of hours more of food, zero word from work, an exchanging of gifts, some bulge- and finger-related speculations about my penis size – something I’ve come to be comfortable with and proud of, ahem, ahem – and a refill of my ARV supply later, the crowd had thinned and it was time to go.
U and I headed back up north the way we came, had dinner at the mall – like we didn’t get enough nutrition already – and chatted over some hot chocolate into the night, until we went our own ways at about 10:30 pm.
Looking the day over, the Grinch in me has to admit that it was a positive day. And if this, being my first Christmas party of the year, is a sign of things to come, I think I’ll have a happy Christmas this year.
Christmas is supposed to be about family, and be it as small as Baby Nathan’s family, or as big as the community that came out to celebrate, I felt how it was to have a family. It’s only today that I can finally say that I do feel the spirit of Christmas.
A Positively Merry Christmas to us all!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
What About Me?!
The past few posts have all been about Baby Nathan. Baby Nathan, Baby Nathan, Baby Nathan. It’s all been about Baby Nathan.
What about me? I have HIV too, you know? How have I been doing? This is my blog, remember?
Okay, since you asked, I’ll tell you. It’s been seven months since I found out I’m HIV positive. I’ve been on anti-retrovirals or ARVs for the past three months. And I’m doing pretty good.
My weight is steady at around 140 pounds. No other allergic reactions to my ARVs. I’m due for another Quantitative RPR test in December, to make sure my Syphilis has gone or is going away.
My last test results came out a month ago, which was a Hepatitis B viral load count. I didn’t know what to think when I saw the result was over 100,000 units per milliliter. I was just relieved it was far from the maximum detectable level, which was in the hundreds of millions of units per milliliter. And showing it to the doctor at the RITM, she kept me for under a minute, pointing out it was just a baseline count to begin with. She reassured me that two of my three ARVs were acting against the Hepa B virus as well, which I knew already from doing research. She told me I’d need to redo the test six months after, in March, which I’m not exactly looking forward to, because it cost me over PhP 5,000.00. But considering all the other freebies I’m getting, it’s not that bad. I just need to start saving up for it little by little.
I had a bad cold again a couple of weeks ago. No thanks to my mom, who doesn’t have enough etiquette to cover her mouth when she coughs, nor to my boss, who just won’t take a break from work to get well no matter how bad her flu, nor to my selfish colleague at work, who would rather have everyone else freeze to death from the air-conditioning than turn an electric fan her way, just to douse her hot flashes and cool her menopausal vajayjay. Geesh. Fortunately I’ve recovered without having to medicate further. I did notice though, that whenever I get sick like that, it manifests further in the form of breakouts on my face. How bad is it? Let’s just say a colleague of mine wanted to play connect-the-dots on my face. Argh.
All this ranting might just take its toll on my CD4 Count, so you know what... I should get back to talking about Baby Nathan instead. Here’s the latest update.
Another donor sent a bit of money for the medicines and supplies of the baby. I was meaning to go sometime this weekend, so I called Ate yesterday to find out what exactly he needed. She said the baby was doing fine, and fortunately, so much help has been pouring in directly, that the baby still had enough of everything he needed. So she told me to hold on to the money in the meantime, and that she’d send me a text message if some sort of a need for it came up. She did mention that the mom has started working somewhere, and was already able to support the family’s needs when it came to food. Still no final word on when exactly they’re gonna get discharged.
So there, let’s end this on a positive note, and leave it at that. Thanks for letting me rant. Hahaha, like you have a choice. Let’s just all enjoy what’s left of the weekend. Ciao!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Heading Home
Another week has passed. A seemingly regular week despite the visit to RITM last Tuesday. And, I’m doing fine with my new ARV medication. I can also say finally that I’ve gotten over the dizziness of Efavirenz. Excellent. I’ve always wanted to be able to say I’ve been able to settle into my final and for-life ARV meds, so I can write it off as a daily habit and try to get into new activities. But since it’s taken longer than I thought, I’m just maintaining what I already have, which are family, work and life as I know it, and giving my doctors and meds the time they need to figure me out.
Yesterday, I dropped by the Social Hygiene Clinic again first thing in the morning, primarily to get my second Penicillin shot for my Syphilis. I got there early, but Dra. Diana Mendoza was already there. She was attending to another guy down at the lab though, so I waited patiently upstairs.
I’ve seen for the past couple of visits there, they they’ve been busier than ever at the SHC. That early, there were other people waiting with me, when before I practically had them all to myself. Oh, no, I wasn’t jealous.
I had known and seen previously, that UNICEF had infused additional supplies and support into the SHC, in terms of HIV Rapid Test Kits, HIV Serodia Screening Kits, and other medications for Sexually Transmitted Infections. Now this is advocacy. Apparently, HIV testing has been made a standard option even for the pregnant women who get check-ups at the Manila Health Department. And why not? We must remember that HIV is not a homosexual disease. It was great to see they’re able to test more people, which should help our cause.
When Dra. Diana came up, she even had one guy with her, apparently, newly diagnosed with HIV. She invited me into the clinic, and introduced us to each other, and mentioned she’d be referring and personally taking him to the H4 Ward in San Lazaro later that day. Isn’t she the best?
She mentioned I’d been diagnosed there too, but transferred to the RITM. She was about to try to explain why I transferred from San Lazaro, but I cut her off, smiling and said “oh, never mind, never mind…” I just thought we’d spare this kid the unnecessary complications for now.
She then asked if she could just have breakfast before attending to me. Of course! She invited the other guy into her office, too, as I’d decline having already had breakfast before leaving the house that morning. I heard her telling the guy my story, my diagnosis, my constant visits there, and my journey through ARVs. I’m sure I’m a pretty good example to show this kid that life goes on, in spite of HIV.
Really having her hands full so early in the morning, without Dra. Malou there, she mixed my medications, and attended quickly to a couple of pregnant women out in the corridor, before telling me to go on into the clinic area of her room. So, bang! I got my shot, and she told me she wouldn’t hold me much longer, knowing I would be trekking to work from there, and having to go back to her new bunso or baby in her office.
It’s just really, really great have some reasons to see and visit them there. I haven’t really had time to witness or attend the support groups that hold session there, or help out in any way, but still, their warmth keeps me coming back.
So let me just put the word out again. They’re still conducting free HIV testing at the Social Hygiene Clinic of the Manila Health Department. They’re located along Quiricada Street in Manila, which is between the Bambang and Tayuman Stations of the LRT. Their building is right across the main gate of San Lazaro Hospital. For more information, you can call Dra. Malou Tan at (+632) 711-6942.
Oh and you might really want to call before you go there, just to make sure they’re not out doing field work. I’ve needed to shift my next supposedly Friday-shot-day to Thursday, because they’ll be out doing voluntary testing on members of the Philippine Coast Guard on Friday. Yeah, they’ve been that busy lately.
But they’re great. Going there has always felt like heading back home.
Monday, September 22, 2008
In My Head
What’s been running through my head lately? Efavirenz. And I’m not exaggerating. This is my third week on Efavirenz, and it’s been trying to drive me crazy.
When the doctor changed my medication from Nevirapine to Efavirenz at the RITM two weeks ago, she had warned me about the side effects. Among these, were dizziness and dreams. I was thinking anything would be better than the fever and rashes I was experiencing with Nevirapine.
So I started on Efavirenz, just once a day, taking the doctor’s advice to take it in the evening, making sure I’d have nothing important to do after taking it. I never experienced any of the dreaming, but man, she wasn’t kidding about the dizziness.
I’ve been trying to come up with some way to accurately describe the feeling, and I’ve actually come up with a number of them.
First thing that came to mind, was that it felt like I was seeing the world through someone else’s prescription lenses. It was like being drunk, but not tipsy. My mind was all a blur.
It wasn’t exactly impairing me. Rather it was even making me move faster. More efficient maybe? I’ve noticed I’ve been able to go through my morning routine faster, making me arrive at work earlier. I even walk faster. I don’t know if it’s giving me more energy or something, but the world seemed to slow down relatively. Crazy, huh?
A friend of mine may have caught a good description, saying it must feel like being on a third straight cup of coffee. I couldn’t really tell, not being a coffee drinker, but maybe, it made some sense.
I also described it as feeling like everything I do, everything I hear, everything I think, everything I see, just echoes in my head twenty times before setting in. It felt chaotic.
So that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past two weeks. Admittedly, I seem to be getting the hang of it. At this point, it’s no longer as bad as the first few days. Things in my head are clearer now, and I feel I’m getting back to my old self again. U and C did say it’d be this way, and that I should be dizziness-free anywhere between a week and a month.
So all in all, I’m pretty happy about the Efavirenz. I haven’t been having to think about it much, and have even had to worry more about my Hepatitis B and Syphilis. Well, not really.
I’ve visited the doctors at Social Hygiene Clinic again to start another round of penicillin shots for my Syphilis. As for the Hepa, the lab tests show I’m an active carrier, and the result of the latest lab test for the Hepa Viral Load hasn’t come out yet. The doctor says it’s nothing to worry about, because one of my HIV medications, Lamivudine, is actually also a medication for Hepatitis B. So we’re actually hitting two birds with one stone here.
The fortunate thing is that I haven’t had any manifestations of either of what a doctor friend of mine regards as my HIV “add-ons”. I’ve always said, having HIV is one thing, but adding Hepatitis B and Syphilis isn’t anything to be proud of. Although, it’s still far from the end of the world.
So for now, they’re just a few things more to deal with, aside from work, family and love. Just another part of the macro scale of life. No biggie.
How about you? What’s been running through your head lately?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Half A Day Off
I’m on Day 12 now of my ARV trial, still everything is green and go. And I’m thankful. Two more days, and I graduate to the higher “test”.
I had planned to take Friday off from work to accompany an online acquaintance to the RITM for his first steps since finding out he was positive. Good thing I took U’s advice and sent Ate a text message a day before confirming if the doctor would be there that day. She replied that the doctor wouldn’t be holding clinic there that Friday, and told me to come on Monday afternoon. I relayed the information to my referral-to-be, and he agreed.
So I had a bit of a change in plans, and took just the morning of Friday off instead. I needed to drop by the Social Hygiene Clinic in Manila again, to get the results of the lab tests I had done the week before, and have more tests done.
So I took the trip straight there first thing in the morning, and greeted Dr. Diana Mendoza, who was still alone when I got there. I can’t explain the warmth I feel from all of them whenever I go there. Dr. Diana, Dra. Malou and Ate Luz, and even the utility guy Kuya Gerry have been there since my day 1. I have nothing to hide, nothing else to be ashamed about, and I’m just really comfortable there.
Dr. Diana greeted me with a smile, and asked what more tests I needed done. I reminded her I was there for the lab results of my RPR and Fecalysis, which is when she called an Ate Olive and requested to check with the lab downstairs for my results. Ate Olive was sort of assisting the doctor that time, doing the things that Kuya Gerry would do before.
While waiting, Dr. Diana sat me down and eagerly asked me how I was doing. I mentioned I had just started on ARVs, which made her pleasantly surprised. She found it wonderful that I was up and about being just over a week into the trials, noticing that I was taking it well, and even said, “It didn’t even make you darker?!” Darker? Yikes, nobody told me about that side effect. Oh, well. After all, I’m dark enough. How much darker can I get?
So anyways, she went on asking how it was at the RITM, as compared to San Lazaro. I never felt afraid of admitting to them there at the Social Hygiene Clinic that I had transferred to RITM, mostly because I know they’re not tied to either. It just so happened that they were just across San Lazaro, so it made sense to refer HIV cases there for profiling. I just said that the facilities were better, to which she replied that others had given the same feedback as well. But I explained the real reason why I needed to transfer, about how I was left hanging by the San Lazaro doctors.
She was obviously surprised by the difference of the two centers in handling HIV cases, especially that one could start on ARVs without confinement or disclosing to family. She understood my sentiments, and promised she’d bring it up with the San Lazaro people.
She mentioned she knew of others who had made the same move as well, and that the dilemma with San Lazaro was making it hard for them at the SHC to keep track of their “babies”. Apparently, since they started their HIV screening program there at the Social Hygiene Clinic in November last year, they’ve had 15 cases of positive results, I being one of them. With fifteen being still a low number, they could still keep in mind by face or by codename, so they’d be constantly wondering how we were all doing by now. Technically, we would not have any need to come back to the SHC after the referral to San Lazaro. So she found it great that I was still dropping by there, just so they knew how their “baby” was. It was nice. Their concern is truly, truly genuine.
Some more minutes of chit chat later, Ate Olive came back with my results. Okay, okay, not entirely good. My Fecalysis results were fine, but the Quantitative RPR, which is a test for Syphilis, still came out reactive, of higher concentration since three months before. Yeah, yeah, I got it, and it’s not something to be proud of.
Dr. Diana initially thought of administering another round of treatment, but just told me to refer it to them at the RITM, being cautious that it may interfere with my ARVs, or that they might have a different protocol of treatment at the RITM. I agreed. I then remembered to ask her if they did Hepatitis screening there, which they didn’t. Yeah, yeah, Chronic Hepatitis B. Alas, another possible problem for me. But I’m just thankful that we’re doing the test, something that wasn’t part of the protocol at San Lazaro.
So she sent me down with Ate Olive to get a referral for a nearby private clinic which did the Hepatitis screening. I left shortly, thanking them all, with a note in my hand signed by Ate Marina of the laboratory department, which was my ticket to a discounted price at Jubilee, the private lab along Bambang, just walking distance from the SHC.
I walked there, just a couple of blocks, got pricked yet again, and headed off. It was around 9:00 am, and I was anticipating where my medicines time would catch me. So I took the LRT south to EDSA, stopping at the Metropoint Mall to buy a bottle of water just in time to down my tablet. Then back to Ortigas via MRT, just in time to catch the Robinsons mall opening. I still had a couple of hours of my half-day off, so I checked it out, the mall being on sale for the whole month of August. I ended up just buying a small drinking bottle, supposedly to lug around in my bag just enough for a gulp, in case I’d get caught again outside in time for my 9:30 habit. Oh and I got another one for U, too. Hope he likes it.
So anyway, that was that. A lot done in less than half a day. I was back at work and back to ordinary life. More updates soon. I need to do my research on Hepatitis, and refresh on Syphilis as well. I’m trying not to hide in a closet within my closet, so I’ll just take things in stride. What else could be next?
