Yesterday was a usual day. Worked. Headed home. Had dinner. Took a shower. Drank my meds. Hopped into bed. But I had no plans of sleeping. I was waiting for Reporter’s Notebook, a show on GMA channel 7, which was to have a post-World-AIDS-Day feature on HIV and AIDS. I couldn’t wait. I knew it would be late, but man, it started at midnight, way past my 10:00 pm bedtime. Even worse, they started with another feature, on firecrackers. Yawn.
Finally, at 12:30 in the morning, the segment came on. It was hosted by Maki Pulido, and sort of started me off with a Huh? when she introduced HIV as short for Human Immuno Virus. Hmm, not a good sign.
They started off with interviews of doctors, including my very own Dr. Diana Mendoza from the Social Hygiene Clinic of the Manila Health Department. I honestly lost track of what she was saying, since my mind was going fanatic, knowing the face on the tube. Statistics were laid out: 33 million people worldwide living with HIV, 3,515 people in the Philippines diagnosed to have HIV, and up to 7,490 people in the country possibly actually carrying the virus without their knowing. I’m just one of these statistics.
They mentioned that there has been an alarming rise in diagnoses of HIV infections, this October being the highest ever, at 59 for the month. Personally, it’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean more people are getting infected. It just means that more people are finding out they are. More people having the guts. More people taking responsibility. Who knows how long they’ve been carrying the virus around and not knowing, right? And yes, I speak from experience.
They then introduced three vignettes of people in the Philippines infected by HIV. First, Eric, a married seafarer, who used female sex workers while deployed on a vessel. Second, Joey, a single male, who was a sex worker for five years. Third, Anthony, a callcenter agent who’s had hundreds of partners and has sex even when on break at work.
Wow, thanks for helping the world judge us, ha. I’ve been drowning in Positivism so much, I probably forgot how important it was to point out how slutty we are. Hmmm, so what image is this show trying to leave? That HIV is a punishment for the promiscuous? That’ll really help people chicken out of getting tested, freaks. Now, I was really getting pissed. It’s a good thing they didn’t go as far as push the stereotype of HIV being a homosexual disease.
Maki Pulido and her team continued to show they’re not so pulido, when she asked the call center agent if he knew from whom he got it. Anthony answers something to the tune of, I don’t know anymore, because I’ve had so many. When asked how many sex partners he’s had, he replies, “More than 400, less than 300…” which causes Ms. Pulido to let out a whopping “Wow!” Well, the last time I checked my math, there’s no such number that’s more than 400, less than 300, so I don’t know how they could let that slip through editing. Wow your face.
They went on to show experts from different fields, heading later on to the topic of ARVs. Eric starts off saying ARVs are expensive, but the segment goes on to say that there is access to free ARVs in the country, thanks to foreign funding of government efforts. Then Ms. Remedios AIDS Foundation pops up, and says the free medicines will only be supplied until 2012, and that after that, the burden will be on the government to continue to be able to support the free medicines. At that point, I could feel the blood rushing to my head.
Wow, Remedios AIDS Foundation, thank you for not putting that in more pleasant terms. Thank you for pointing out that we are a burden. And thank you for letting all my hopes and dreams beyond 2012 fall to pieces. Your advocacy amazes me. Yes, I am being sarcastic.
I could literally feel my CD4 count dropping by the minute, because the negativity of the statements was bothersome. Way to scare us all back into hopelessness. You Remedios AIDS F... F... Frustrators!
I don’t really know who to blame. Whether it’s the resource person, the host, the researchers, the staff, the show or the station. That’s what you get when you squeeze as big a topic as HIV into 25 minutes, inclusive of 10 minutes of commercial content. I really hope you made money off of this one. Thanks for bastardizing HIV. I really regretted having to wait up for this program. It's time to burn this notebook.
The only good part is that this reaffirmed why we need to push Positivism to the forefront. It’s really time for change. Now.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Burn the Notebook
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Heading Home
Another week has passed. A seemingly regular week despite the visit to RITM last Tuesday. And, I’m doing fine with my new ARV medication. I can also say finally that I’ve gotten over the dizziness of Efavirenz. Excellent. I’ve always wanted to be able to say I’ve been able to settle into my final and for-life ARV meds, so I can write it off as a daily habit and try to get into new activities. But since it’s taken longer than I thought, I’m just maintaining what I already have, which are family, work and life as I know it, and giving my doctors and meds the time they need to figure me out.
Yesterday, I dropped by the Social Hygiene Clinic again first thing in the morning, primarily to get my second Penicillin shot for my Syphilis. I got there early, but Dra. Diana Mendoza was already there. She was attending to another guy down at the lab though, so I waited patiently upstairs.
I’ve seen for the past couple of visits there, they they’ve been busier than ever at the SHC. That early, there were other people waiting with me, when before I practically had them all to myself. Oh, no, I wasn’t jealous.
I had known and seen previously, that UNICEF had infused additional supplies and support into the SHC, in terms of HIV Rapid Test Kits, HIV Serodia Screening Kits, and other medications for Sexually Transmitted Infections. Now this is advocacy. Apparently, HIV testing has been made a standard option even for the pregnant women who get check-ups at the Manila Health Department. And why not? We must remember that HIV is not a homosexual disease. It was great to see they’re able to test more people, which should help our cause.
When Dra. Diana came up, she even had one guy with her, apparently, newly diagnosed with HIV. She invited me into the clinic, and introduced us to each other, and mentioned she’d be referring and personally taking him to the H4 Ward in San Lazaro later that day. Isn’t she the best?
She mentioned I’d been diagnosed there too, but transferred to the RITM. She was about to try to explain why I transferred from San Lazaro, but I cut her off, smiling and said “oh, never mind, never mind…” I just thought we’d spare this kid the unnecessary complications for now.
She then asked if she could just have breakfast before attending to me. Of course! She invited the other guy into her office, too, as I’d decline having already had breakfast before leaving the house that morning. I heard her telling the guy my story, my diagnosis, my constant visits there, and my journey through ARVs. I’m sure I’m a pretty good example to show this kid that life goes on, in spite of HIV.
Really having her hands full so early in the morning, without Dra. Malou there, she mixed my medications, and attended quickly to a couple of pregnant women out in the corridor, before telling me to go on into the clinic area of her room. So, bang! I got my shot, and she told me she wouldn’t hold me much longer, knowing I would be trekking to work from there, and having to go back to her new bunso or baby in her office.
It’s just really, really great have some reasons to see and visit them there. I haven’t really had time to witness or attend the support groups that hold session there, or help out in any way, but still, their warmth keeps me coming back.
So let me just put the word out again. They’re still conducting free HIV testing at the Social Hygiene Clinic of the Manila Health Department. They’re located along Quiricada Street in Manila, which is between the Bambang and Tayuman Stations of the LRT. Their building is right across the main gate of San Lazaro Hospital. For more information, you can call Dra. Malou Tan at (+632) 711-6942.
Oh and you might really want to call before you go there, just to make sure they’re not out doing field work. I’ve needed to shift my next supposedly Friday-shot-day to Thursday, because they’ll be out doing voluntary testing on members of the Philippine Coast Guard on Friday. Yeah, they’ve been that busy lately.
But they’re great. Going there has always felt like heading back home.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Half A Day Off
I’m on Day 12 now of my ARV trial, still everything is green and go. And I’m thankful. Two more days, and I graduate to the higher “test”.
I had planned to take Friday off from work to accompany an online acquaintance to the RITM for his first steps since finding out he was positive. Good thing I took U’s advice and sent Ate a text message a day before confirming if the doctor would be there that day. She replied that the doctor wouldn’t be holding clinic there that Friday, and told me to come on Monday afternoon. I relayed the information to my referral-to-be, and he agreed.
So I had a bit of a change in plans, and took just the morning of Friday off instead. I needed to drop by the Social Hygiene Clinic in Manila again, to get the results of the lab tests I had done the week before, and have more tests done.
So I took the trip straight there first thing in the morning, and greeted Dr. Diana Mendoza, who was still alone when I got there. I can’t explain the warmth I feel from all of them whenever I go there. Dr. Diana, Dra. Malou and Ate Luz, and even the utility guy Kuya Gerry have been there since my day 1. I have nothing to hide, nothing else to be ashamed about, and I’m just really comfortable there.
Dr. Diana greeted me with a smile, and asked what more tests I needed done. I reminded her I was there for the lab results of my RPR and Fecalysis, which is when she called an Ate Olive and requested to check with the lab downstairs for my results. Ate Olive was sort of assisting the doctor that time, doing the things that Kuya Gerry would do before.
While waiting, Dr. Diana sat me down and eagerly asked me how I was doing. I mentioned I had just started on ARVs, which made her pleasantly surprised. She found it wonderful that I was up and about being just over a week into the trials, noticing that I was taking it well, and even said, “It didn’t even make you darker?!” Darker? Yikes, nobody told me about that side effect. Oh, well. After all, I’m dark enough. How much darker can I get?
So anyways, she went on asking how it was at the RITM, as compared to San Lazaro. I never felt afraid of admitting to them there at the Social Hygiene Clinic that I had transferred to RITM, mostly because I know they’re not tied to either. It just so happened that they were just across San Lazaro, so it made sense to refer HIV cases there for profiling. I just said that the facilities were better, to which she replied that others had given the same feedback as well. But I explained the real reason why I needed to transfer, about how I was left hanging by the San Lazaro doctors.
She was obviously surprised by the difference of the two centers in handling HIV cases, especially that one could start on ARVs without confinement or disclosing to family. She understood my sentiments, and promised she’d bring it up with the San Lazaro people.
She mentioned she knew of others who had made the same move as well, and that the dilemma with San Lazaro was making it hard for them at the SHC to keep track of their “babies”. Apparently, since they started their HIV screening program there at the Social Hygiene Clinic in November last year, they’ve had 15 cases of positive results, I being one of them. With fifteen being still a low number, they could still keep in mind by face or by codename, so they’d be constantly wondering how we were all doing by now. Technically, we would not have any need to come back to the SHC after the referral to San Lazaro. So she found it great that I was still dropping by there, just so they knew how their “baby” was. It was nice. Their concern is truly, truly genuine.
Some more minutes of chit chat later, Ate Olive came back with my results. Okay, okay, not entirely good. My Fecalysis results were fine, but the Quantitative RPR, which is a test for Syphilis, still came out reactive, of higher concentration since three months before. Yeah, yeah, I got it, and it’s not something to be proud of.
Dr. Diana initially thought of administering another round of treatment, but just told me to refer it to them at the RITM, being cautious that it may interfere with my ARVs, or that they might have a different protocol of treatment at the RITM. I agreed. I then remembered to ask her if they did Hepatitis screening there, which they didn’t. Yeah, yeah, Chronic Hepatitis B. Alas, another possible problem for me. But I’m just thankful that we’re doing the test, something that wasn’t part of the protocol at San Lazaro.
So she sent me down with Ate Olive to get a referral for a nearby private clinic which did the Hepatitis screening. I left shortly, thanking them all, with a note in my hand signed by Ate Marina of the laboratory department, which was my ticket to a discounted price at Jubilee, the private lab along Bambang, just walking distance from the SHC.
I walked there, just a couple of blocks, got pricked yet again, and headed off. It was around 9:00 am, and I was anticipating where my medicines time would catch me. So I took the LRT south to EDSA, stopping at the Metropoint Mall to buy a bottle of water just in time to down my tablet. Then back to Ortigas via MRT, just in time to catch the Robinsons mall opening. I still had a couple of hours of my half-day off, so I checked it out, the mall being on sale for the whole month of August. I ended up just buying a small drinking bottle, supposedly to lug around in my bag just enough for a gulp, in case I’d get caught again outside in time for my 9:30 habit. Oh and I got another one for U, too. Hope he likes it.
So anyway, that was that. A lot done in less than half a day. I was back at work and back to ordinary life. More updates soon. I need to do my research on Hepatitis, and refresh on Syphilis as well. I’m trying not to hide in a closet within my closet, so I’ll just take things in stride. What else could be next?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
My Long Weekend
Yesterday, August 18 was a holiday in the Philippines, a rescheduling of Ninoy Aquino Day. A long weekend for most. But I had a longer weekend than the rest. I took the day off today, not for a vacation, but to pay the RITM another visit.
Today, I was out of the house by 7:30 am. My appointment at the RITM was still in the afternoon, but I had my day all planned out. I first made my way to the Social Hygiene Clinic at the Manila Health Department, primarily to have my fecalysis and quantitative RPR done, but also to pay the dear doctors a visit.
Only Dr. Diana Mendoza was there, attending to a younger group getting tested for something. After she was done, she looked my way and immediately recognized and greeted me. She asked me if I needed anything, guessing my quantitative RPR almost magically. I nodded, and asked if they did stool tests as well. She said yes, and immediately asked Kuya, the utility guy to run to the lab and request that they do my fecalysis, apparently because I had arrived past the deadline for accepting samples. She wrote out my lab referrals, taking those given to me by the RITM. I had gone there knowing that they conducted the tests for less than the usual cost, but surprisingly, Dr. Diana endorsed them and they were given for free! Lucky me!
So down I went to the lab, where they extracted some blood, and literally took the shit outta me. Well I had my stool sample ready, and had been checking constantly on the way there if it was already stinking up my bag. I was glad to leave my crap there. On the way out, Dr. Diana asked me how I was, complimenting that I looked good. I thanked her and headed off, saying I’d call for a follow-up of the results. This will truly always be my first HIV home.
From there, I took the LRT out to EDSA, and the MRT to Magallanes, where I made my way again via bus to the Alabang area. Arriving in Alabang early, I took my lunch first at Jollibee, a local counterpart of McDonald’s, craving from everything from a Champ to a Jolly Spaghetti, but eventually settling for a Palabok and a large order of Fries. Yum. Not being known for slow eating, I was done in about 20 minutes, with still more time to spare before my afternoon appointment, so I checked out the Alabang Starmall while waiting, but found nothing much to see after less than an hour. It was past 12 noon, so I decided to just head for the RITM and hang out there.
Getting to the RITM, I headed for the OPD room, finding only Ate there. She showed me my CD4 results… 328. I then apologized for being too early, and ushered her off to lunch while offering to man her post somewhat. Sitting there alone, I started computing:
2 months ago, CD4 count = 343
Present, CD4 count = 328
Difference = 15
Decrease = 15 / 2 months = 7.5 per month
At that rate, I would reach the critical CD4 level of 200 after… 1 year, 5 months
Am I obsessed with math or what?! I was meaning for that computation to help me decide whether or not to start on ARVs, but thought maybe my logic didn’t apply to this case, so I shoved it all out the window and just cleared my head.
Shortly after, Ate arrived, as well as some other clients. One has been living positive for 15 years, and was doing voluntary counseling for other clients there. One was like me, CD4 above 300, had never been on ARVs, but wished to start. One was just weeks on ARVs and having his side effects checked. Another one was new, first time at the RITM, armed only with his test results for being positive with HIV. We all got talking while waiting for the doctor, and came to a point where we were sharing our experiences with the newbie, who was clearly still unable to accept his condition. I honestly think it helped him a lot being with and talking to others like him, as he really calmed down and opened up by the time the doctor came around.
Being the first one there, I was served first, as the doctor showed me again my CD4 results. She told me all my other tests were clear, and asked me again whether or not I wanted to start on ARVs. Without flinching, I said yes.
So here I am, in bed with my medicines beside me. One tablet is a combination of Lamivudine and Zidovudine, to be taken twice a day at 12 hour intervals. The doctor guaranteed there are no usual side effects. The other tablet however, Nevirapine, is a different story. Usual side effects are rashes, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, plus nightmares and hallucinations, i think. I’m supposed to take it once a day for the next two weeks, and guard for the side effects. If everything is good, it increases to twice a day, monitoring closely again for another two weeks. I saw one client there who had the rashes from this same tablet, so I know what to look out for. U says he had the same reaction to it as well. Sigh.
Okay it’s exactly 9:30 pm now, and here goes my first dosage… cheers.
Okay, done. And as it goes, once I start this, it will be a lifetime commitment, and I cannot miss a beat. I’m planning to get a watch with an alarm, just to make sure I never ever forget. I want to get one for U, too.
So anyways, I’ll have more details again tomorrow. For now, I want to rest early, so I can adjust to my new… schedule. I’m putting my laptop away, as I usually have it beside me in bed, just to make sure I don’t beat it up in case I have any nightmares and stuff.
I’m hoping I don’t have any adverse reactions to it, or at least it not be too bad. Wish me luck… good night.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Take the Test
The last time I was there, my new friends at the Social Hygiene Clinic, Dr. Malou, Dr. Diana, and Nurse Luz asked me to help get the word out on getting tested. So here goes...
The Social Hygiene Center of the Manila Health Department continues to offer free HIV and other STI testing until further notice. Yes, guys, girls and everything in between... it's free. They intially had the free testing for the duration of March, but thanks to other sponsors, they continue to be able to offer it indefinitely. Please, please, please take advantage.
For those interested to check their HIV and reproductive health status, you can visit the Social Hygiene Clinic from Mondays to Thursdays from around 8:30 am to 3:00 pm, and on Friday mornings from 8:30 to 11:00 am. Sorry guys, they're closed on weekends and holidays.
Why do they want everyone to get tested? Because absolutely anyone exposed to the risks can get HIV. And there are no really reliable symptoms to tell that you have it. The only way to really know, is to get tested. It's not knowing that spreads the virus.
Look at me, I never thought I had it. You could never tell. But I did. Now that I know, I will make sure that the virus stops with me. Imagine how many others I might have endangered, had I not found out.
Just so you know, you will be asked to give your real name and a code name. Only your code name will be attached to the blood samples sent to the lab for testing. And only Dr. Malou has access to the files linking your real name with the code name. They know how delicate the situation can be, and how important anonymity is to us.
They will also give you pre- and post-test counselling, just so you're prepared and informed. Yes, you can ask questions. Results are claimed from Dr. Malou as well after a few days. She even gives her personal cellphone number so you can follow-up your results.
The Social Hygiene Clinic is located on the second floor of the Manila Health Department. It has a separate entrance on the right side of the building, so it's very discreet. The Manila Health Department is along Quiricada Street in Manila, across the San Lazaro Hospital main gate. The area is located between the LRT stations at Bambang and Tayuman. If you have other questions, you can call the Social Hygiene Clinic at (+632) 711-6942.
Please consider our plea. If you need someone to go there with you, let me know. I'd gladly help.
For everyone else not in Manila or the Philippines, think about doing it too in your own city or country.
Please, please, please. They're not there to judge us. They want the best for us. But they need our help. They care. We should, too.
