Shola Luna. You might not have been aware, but I’ve mentioned her several times before in previous posts. Maybe not by name. But she, or he, is the “resident counselor” at the RITM that I’ve always been referring to. And I'm sure she has been able to counsel a lot of other pozzies by sharing her own plight with HIV
I don’t really remember how it was the first time we met. I recall she was there when U first brought me to RITM. But of course, I was my usually shy self, and I hardly spoke to anyone other than U, and the doctor, of course. So I don’t really recall my first impression of her.
I do remember, though, the day that I brought a new guy to RITM to get him started on his HIV journey. Shola was there with Ate, and that was the time that they were talking about other pozzies not being pleased about some people disclosing the hospitals, doctors and terms related to HIV via the net. Of course, they weren’t aware just yet that I was one of the culprits.
I thought I was safe, until the new guy I brought let it slip that we had met thru my blog. I felt Shola’s suspicion as she asked what the URL was. I felt I’d been exposed and had no choice but to guiltily give it. My friend and I were laughing at my getting exposed as we headed home, but I just shrugged it off. What’s done is done. Bahala na, I thought.
The next trip I made to RITM, Shola was there again, and started me off by saying she’d read my blog already. Like a little boy, I was ready for a scolding, but surprisingly she said she liked it and thought it was okay. That was like a load off my chest, and that’s when I knew for sure, I wasn’t doing anything bad.
Since then, I got to hang out more with her at the clinic and play assistant to her when talking with newbies there.
She was the one who introduced me to the Positivism.ph team, and I can’t thank her enough for that. Shola is also part of the Positivism.ph team, and not to mention the first cover story of Positivism.ph.
I enjoy her company because, like me, she likes to laugh a lot. Very Positivism.
I remember one time when we met at Glorietta from where we were to head to the Hotbox office for a Positivism meeting. While waiting for E, who was late as usual, she suddenly needed to go peepee. I pointed out that she had the advantage of going to either of the men’s or the ladies’ rooms, and jokingly suggested she go to the restroom for the disabled instead. She laughed and said she hated lining up at ladies’ rooms, and thought it’d be more fun in the men’s room. Gulp. Yikes
It was hilarious how guys needed to take a second look if they were in the right comfort room upon seeing Shola there. I was just thankful she chose to go into one of the cubicles, rather than stand at one of the urinals. That would’ve been more outrageous! I admit, I was ready to put my dukes up in case anyone had any problems with the situation. Fortunately, it wasn’t anything more than a good laugh.
At one point during the Positivism.ph thing, I got tasked to try and manga-nize Shola for the magazine. But I was stumped! I couldn’t even get past the first option of choosing whether she was male or female. Hahaha. She might kill me when she finds that out.
Although most of the time I’ve spent with her have been more fun and comfortable than anything else, behind her now peace-loving and happy façade, lies a cluttered past which she’s been able to overcome.
Watch more of her at Positivism.ph, where she’s featured in the Reel Deal segment.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Shola Luna
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Lucky Me!
With the Chinese New Year ushering in the Year of the Ox, everyone’s been talking about luck. And from all the features I’ve watched, 2009 should actually be a lucky year for me, being born in the Year of the Horse. But I believe my good luck started last year, when I found out I was HIV-positive.
You know that I’ve always regarded myself as lucky despite the fact that I’m now HIV-positive. I’m lucky that it isn’t some other more severely debilitating disease that I have. I’m lucky that I found out relatively early on that I had it, and still wasn’t manifesting any symptoms. I’m lucky that I had a pretty decent CD4 count to begin with. I’m lucky that I’ve gotten through the challenges of starting on ARVs. I’m lucky that I’ve made the choices to get to where I am now. I’m lucky to have encountered the greatest people along my HIV journey.
I was lucky to have chosen to get tested at the Social Hygiene Clinic in Manila, the personnel of which have been so kind until now. I was lucky to have encountered U, who introduced and took me to the RITM more than 6 months ago. I was lucky to have come across E, who’s become my poz blogger buddy. I was lucky to have met RITM’s resident counselor, who, through some ridiculous circumstances, was instrumental in linking me to the Positivism team. I was lucky to be introduced to Baby Nathan, who’s brought more passion and inspiration to my positive life. And of course, I’ve been lucky to have all the rest of the angels along the way, who’ve been so extremely supportive and accepting.
Being HIV-positive has afforded me some opportunities that I may never have gotten if I wasn’t. I’ve rediscovered my passion for writing, which has given me the chance to get noticed. Of course, there’s this very blog, and Positivism, which have kept my momentum going. I don’t know if it’s entirely lucky, but my writing has been heard by, or more like criticized by, one of the nation’s recognizable journalists. And once again, I stand the chance of being published for international circulation.
As of today, I can say that my lucky streak continues, and has overflowed onto my professional side, as I’m being given the opportunity to work for a great company, doing the very thing I love doing, and being the very person I cannot deny I am. I only dreamed of the possibility of pursuing a path where my creativity, writing and advocacy becoming a career. And I won’t deny that I would love to work with people who know about and are, as far as I know, comfortable with my being HIV-positive, and I am completely flattered by the fact that they see potential in me.
Of course it’s going to be a huge decision to make, and for someone who is intimidated by change, a very daunting one. Getting uprooted from what has become my comfort zone of almost 5 years just leaves me scared to the bone. Before this, the biggest change in my life has been HIV. Heaven knows how I’ve gotten past it still sane, assuming of course that I have gotten past it, and that I am indeed still sane. Someone just loves throwing me curve balls I guess. And I just have to step up to the plate swinging.
So maybe luck is just one part of the equation. Maybe I have to be a bit carefree. Maybe I have to have faith. Maybe I have to muster up enough courage. Maybe I have to give in to the risks. Maybe I have to be willing to step out of the box. Then, and only then, can luck play its part. Like someone said, you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Kuya (Big Brother)
Having worked extra over the weekend, I had a day and a half worth of vacation that I could offset with a workday. So in the midst of an agreement with E, who is part of the Positivism.ph team, we agreed to head for the RITM yesterday, Tuesday. More on Positivism.ph in a later post.
My personal agenda at the RITM would be to get a med reload. I only had enough medicines to last me till tonight, so one way or another I was bound to go. But my main purpose would be to just hang around with E and the resident counselor, who is also part of the Positivism.ph team.
So hang around I did. I helped out with some paperwork – literally – no typing or writing or thinking. Just collating and stapling. Mmm, repetitive work, gotta love it. Lunch with the counselor was great, too. I tried hard to keep up with her appetite. Hehehe.
E sent me a message that a friend of his was coming in. He asked me to talk to him, because he wasn’t feeling well. Me? Why me? Was this counseling? Yikes. The shy guy in me was trying to file an appeal. Ok, ok, let’s see what we can do.
Once I figured out which one he was, I took the counselor’s seat, and E's friend took a seat in front “my” desk. It turns out he was experiencing fevers after being on Nevirapine for about a week. Well, well, I knew exactly how that went, so that gave me a bit of confidence. I found myself opening up, and putting him at ease that what he was going through was a normal part of the process.
Hey, I actually thought I was good at that! A second guy actually came in having the same complaints, so again, I shared my story. It felt good being able to help in my own little way. Very kuya-like of me.
Later I received news that T was coming, with three new recruits. T is an old friend. An old friend who I was going to meet for the first time. So he would be an old-new friend. Confused? You see we’d been chatting online for more than five years now, if I’m not mistaken. There were plans to meet which never pushed through, but we never lost touch. Until finally, we discovered each other again, in the poz world this time.
So finally, finally, finally, we met. The only thing was, he didn’t realize it was me. I thought maybe it was too much for me to expect us to be instantly chummy, so I didn’t pursue it, and just stuck by E, who kept exchanging jokes, quips and the occasional elbow with me. T’s three new recruits had gone through their paces with the doctor, and he invited us all for dinner at nearby Festival Mall, still oblivious of who I was exactly.
We headed to the mall, but let the newbies take the car. E, his friend and I trekked on foot, since we couldn’t all fit. Getting there, we had dinner, where I showed off my new found appetite. We were almost through with dinner before T finally figured out who I was, which was what broke the ice for us. He’s been reading this blog regularly, so he knows what things I’ve been going through. He probably sees me as a willing guinea pig for the poz journey.
I wasn’t the kuya or big brother of the group age-wise, but when it came to the HIV journey, my mere six-months already made me the kuya of kuyas. So on the trip home, T encouraged his new recruits to bombard me with all the questions they had, which really weren’t much. I think it was enough for them to see that T, E and I were smiling, laughing, and living... enough to see that we were normal... enough to assure them that they, too, would be okay.
I was the last to get off at Guadalupe, before which T thanked me for having this blog and sharing my experiences. T is to be thanked, too, for the work that he does with these kids. I’ve never been a kuya in my life. But regardless of whether it made me feel old, I realized last night, it felt swell to be a kuya.
