Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


AlertI’ve been on heightened health alert since Sunday. Yes, health. I had to take careful note of what I’ve been feeling. Some supposedly usual things for anyone, but possibly alarming for someone with HIV.

Hello, rainy season. The weather finally got to me. I got the sniffles over the weekend. A bit unusual for me. I mean I do usually have a stuffy nose waking up in the morning, but I’ve been sneezing, sniffing and snorting since Sunday.

I’ve noticed ever since that I don’t catch colds that easily but when I do, I don’t get well easily. I don’t know if things will be worse now that I have HIV. So when I caught a cold this weekend, I took notice. No fever, though, which is good. And I’m still up and about.

I’m not medicating, just taking a lot of water, resting more and staying warm. I’m feeling a bit better now. Still a bit of phlegm in the mornings especially, the hard and sticky kind. Fortunately, the color still seems normal, and I’m able to expel it somehow, by blowing my nose. An interesting fact, I do not know how to spit. I know. Weird. So I have to resort to blowing my nose in situations like these.

Add to that, diarrhea. Just soft stool. I still had my bowel movement in control, and was still able to work yesterday. But definitely something I should be looking out for. By yesterday night, my stool was forming more, so I don’t think this is anything bad. I’m suspecting the creamy pasta I ate for lunch and dinner. My tummy doesn’t do too well with cream. Good thing I ate the last of it yesterday night. By this morning, I felt much better.

Not for long. The scrambled eggs I found on the table for breakfast… were bad. I’m not sure how much of it I had ingested, but when I realized it tasted funny, off to the trash I went. I can’t readily complain to my mom that she should be more careful that the food doesn’t spoil. Of course she doesn’t know yet that I have HIV or how bad it can be for people like me. It’s just a bit frustrating because, well, no one should eat spoilt food. Oh well, another lesson learned, to be more careful next time.

So there. Not a very good end to the first half of the year. Still manageable for now. But if it was any worse, I’d be on my way to the San Lazaro Hospital in a jiffy. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.


imherefor you said...

Ehem.... I hope you are feeling better now! Sorry I wasn't be able to catch you online today as I was freaking busy with all the shit loads in the office! I hope that I can catch you online soon! Take care always!

PinoyPoz said...

thanks buddy... don't worry i wasn't online either. maybe later today. you take care too. don't work too hard :-)