HIV does not make people dangerous to know...
So you can shake their hands...
And give them a hug...
Heaven knows they need it.
Princess Diana
July 01, 1961 - August 31, 1997
I found this quote on one of the advocacy blogs... And I'm glad I did. I actually never encountered it before. I never knew Princess Diana for such words.
I know it should be heartwarming... it probably is for most. But I had to read it a couple of times, trying to feel the "kilig". Alas, it did not come.
Sorry. I know it seems blasphemous of me to be saying this about something the late Princess Diana said. I mean, most of what she said is fine and perfect. I was just turned off by the last part... "Heaven knows they need it".
To me, it sounds like pity. And no, I don't need pity. I'm not a victim. Don't stigmatize against me. But don't patronize me.
No. Just because I have HIV, doesn't mean I need your hugs... at least not any more than any other human being would.
That's all I want. Don't treat me bad just because I have HIV. But don't treat me any special either. Treat me normal... because I am.
That being said, Diana is still an angel... I shall bow down before her in honor of her gift to the HIV cause... a Princess' touch.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Princess' Touch
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Sweet Break
May pasalubong ako sa iyo! Baket ka nagagalit sa akin? Nagpapakasweet na nga lang ako eh!
Him dropping the call was the most welcome thing for me. That was it. We didn’t talk nor text for the next two weeks.
Yep, I’m talking about the hubby. Do I seem harsh? Snapping at someone just because of a pasalubong? I think so too a bit, but here’s my story.
So he goes out of town, and asks me what pasalubong I’d like. He always brings me pasalubongs. Too much in fact, that when one pasalubong comes, I would still have pasalubongs from previous trips still at home. Perishables every time at that. So I declined this time.
But I want to.
So he goes on his trip and comes back. May pasalubong ako sa iyo! And I’m pissed.
Why? I’m a quiet guy. An introvert. I would usually rather keep things to myself. So those few times I speak up, I would appreciate if you'd listen.
And I repeated myself.
But I want to.
Baket ka nagagalit sa akin?
Nagpapakasweet na nga lang ako eh!
Sige na nga, matulog ka na!
Call dropped.
I felt offended. Not by the dropped call. But by the insinuation that material things equal sweetness. No. I’m not that kind of a guy, sorry.
Sweet is listening to what little I have to say.
Sweet is calling not just to say you love me... ask how my day went!
Sweet is not stopping me from putting my arm around you in public.
Sweet is not just saying you want to hug me whenever we meet. Do it.
Sweet is accepting my invitations to share my yoga time with me.
Sweet is not a “Masaya ka na?” after meeting my BFF the first time.
There, that’s why I snapped. Sweet?! These were things I had been letting pass. I was patiently letting him have his way. And this, this seemed like the last straw.
I’m sorry. I’m the farthest thing from a closet case. Fine, I’ve declared I’m Back In The Closet with this HIV thing, but even with that, I haven’t let the closet doors stop me from living. Not at this point where I’ve gotten a wake up call to treasure life more, and be thankful for every moment I get to live, laugh and love.
I was soon asking myself, why was I so bitchy? Why was I nitpicking? Why did I snap at him? It was becoming clear what the underlying issue was... I was falling out of love.
Some of you will think that I’m letting go of a perfectly good thing, knowing that an HIV-negative guy accepted me for who I am and what I had. But that’s not the end all and be all of it all.
He will not be the last person who will accept me despite my HIV-positive status. Call me much hopeful, but I guarantee that. Like I always say, if you don’t like me just because I’m HIV-positive, then you’re not worth my time anyways.
So there. Pending one final conversation... closure to be exact... this BITCH is officially single.
So, sweet ba kamo? Break.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Intercourse of the Church
The issue of the Reproductive Health Bill or RH Bill has been heating up again. What with President Noynoy Aquino seemingly back to support the RH Bill again, and as expected the Catholic church not backing down from opposing it. Oi, who would ever have thought that Reproductive Health would be of a priestly concern? For me, it would be like me promoting sex with a female... irrelevant... disjunct... does not compute. But well, things happen. So the church and the RH Bill have headlined Yahoo! news today... not just once, but twice!
Some Priests are Pro-RH Bill - Bishop
The Catholic Church does not have the unified support of all its members when it comes to the issue of the Reproductive Health Bill, an official of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) disclosed today.
Pampanga Archbishop Paciano Aniceto, chairman of the CBCP’s Episcopal Commission on Family and Life (ECFL), revealed that there are some priests who are pro-RH bill.
“Well, in the Church, there’s a space for dissent also… Even the 10 commandments, there are many who disobey it, right?” Aniceto said in an interview. “We leave it to their conscience. We respect that. But majority are not in favor. I think, in their own moral and theological discernment, we should respect them for that.”
He said these priests have maintained anonymity although some bishops are aware of their dissenting positions.
Aniceto believes that these priests are only misguided or are lacking sufficient knowledge about the provisions of the bill.
My thoughts? "I respect your views, but you're misguided." LOL! Ironic much!
Filipino Cardinal Urges Charm Offensive but Hits President's Lack of Faith
Take it from someone who has walked the corridors of power at the Vatican. Saying that Philippine President Benigno Aquino III was now "losing his popularity", Jose Cardinal Sanchez, the oldest among the country's three living cardinals, has urged Catholic bishops to go on a charm offensive and befriend congressmen to win them over in the reproductive health (RH) bill debate.
Sanchez, 91, also lamented in an interview with CBCP News that President Aquino's mother (the late President Corazon Aquino) and his sisters had "more faith than him".
"He is now losing his popularity. He has no firm idea on marriage. It is too much politics now and no longer religion. (His) mother (the late former President Corazon Aquino) and (his) sisters have more faith than him," said Sanchez, who once oversaw the diocesan priests around the world as prefect of the Vatican Congregation on the Clergy.
Hiking Filipinos' income: Sanchez said that the government should try to improve the lot of Filipino families by increasing their income instead of "destroying" them by pushing for the RH bill.
But with the President losing his popularity, Sanchez said that Congress would not be able to pass the bill. And a charm offensive could help.
Sanchez recalled that when he was once a bishop assigned in Bicol, he was a "friend to all the congressmen" so it was easy for him to confront them when a proposed law contradicted church doctrine.
"If there are bills contradictory to the Catholic teachings, I would go to these congressmen one by one to enlighten them with the Catholic teachings and they would easily agree with me. And as friends, they would find it hard to go against the bishop," Sanchez said.
However, he admitted that it would be harder to do this now since many lawmakers today are non-Christians.
What next? Sanchez said he came back to the country from Rome to ward off the "tendencies that threaten to destroy the Catholic Church."
He said he was worried that same-sex marriage, which he said had been approved in Brazil - the world's largest Catholic country - might also be "accepted" later in the Philippines.
"I did not come here to fight the RH Bill. I came here to protect the Catholic doctrine. (The RH bill) is insignificant as far as the problems of the world are concerned. But I'm happy that it is being faced seriously by the Philippine Church," Sanchez said.
He said that if the Church fails to reverse these "tendencies" that threaten the Church, there would be fewer priests in the country in 50 years' time.
"The world is changing, and the evil doesn't stop. I hope the Philippines will remain a Christian country. But I know the (Filipino) Christians are not sleeping, they keep on fighting," Sanchez said.
My thoughts? Government increase Filipino families' income how? Perhaps if we begin collecting taxes from the church, hmmm. And it's nice know that the cardinal spilled the beans. So the church is only concerned about the Catholic doctrine and about there being less priests in 50 years. So they really aren't out to care for the people... sigh. Huhuhu... hu.
Let me end with this picture...
LOL! Just quit the intercourse of the church with the state, okay? Abstinence to you!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
PGH with a capital ACHE!
I met a new friend at Yoga for Life quite recently. Despite starting from zero, and being almost a whole generation away from each other, we clicked. Blame location, blame the zodiac, blame Chinese astrology, we just clicked.
So I swore I’d take care of him, as a friend and as a newbie to the HIV scene.
So we were headed home from yoga one Wednesday when he mentioned he was going to PGH for his lab tests the next day. He asked what I was going to be doing. Work as usual. Hey, I’d be a newbie to PGH as well, right? “Sayang, magpapasama sana ako...” and he laughs it off. I didn’t.
The following day, I left the house at 7:00 am as usual. But whether I was going to work or going to accompany someone to PGH was still undecided. Deep inside I knew I wanted to go with him to PGH. I honestly did. He was just hesitant to have me take a leave just for him. If hiya was all it was, then darn. So I decided. I would go with him.
After scurrying about with last minute plans, which entailed a misunderstanding as to where we were meeting, we finally caught up, as his sweet smile and thanks told me I made the right decision.
We took a familiar route, one that I took to the Social Hygiene Clinic in Manila, and the same one I used to take when I used to date someone who lived in Sta. Cruz. A jeepney ride, and a short LRT trip to Pedro Gil Station, and we were at PGH. It wasn’t my first time at PGH, I’d been there for a meeting before. But for medical services? Never. Here goes nothing.
He suddenly realized he didn’t seem to have his lab requests with him. No problem, right? I’d just ask Ate for another set, and that would be that. So we headed to the Infectious Diseases Section (IDS) and knocked on the door. A nurse opened the door, and greeted us, but not so warmly. She was short of asking who the hell are you and what are you doing here. PMS, teh? Okay, stay cool.
So he relayed his problem. And with a furious frown and clearly peeved, she told us to wait outside for the doctor. Hmm. I had to ask, is this nurse always this bitchy? I could not help compare to how Ate takes care of us at RITM.
So we sat along the corridor for a good half hour. We talked about anything and everything, thankful that neither of us had to experience such a thing alone. We fidgeted in each other’s bags, for fans, clothes and books... Good enough as we found his lab requests hidden under all his stuff. Whew!
So we walked down to the cashier and lined up. At the window, we got asked about a Blue or White Card. What card?! I just answered that we came from the IDS. The cashier mentioned something about Charity, and I just thought, okay, if you say so.
From there we walked a short way to the Express Laboratory. But only to get pointed to another lab, Laboratory Info on the second floor. Then we were pointed to the OPD Lab in a whole other building. We managed to walk the whole PGH block to the Faura end, near the Supreme Court. It was the building that housed the OPD. Made sense, at RITM, we were at the OPD department as well.
Inside, gasp! Long lines, hot air and dismal faces. And not just any lines. You were supposed to line up to get a schedule, and come back another day for the actual test. Seriously?! We walked back to the IDS to ask. That just couldn’t be right.
Nurse PMS opened up again. Fine, she was calmer this time. Apparently, we had gone to Charity indeed, which explained the long lines. We were ushered back to the Express Lab. There, we were told we had paid the Charity rate. So once again, we had to line up at the cashier to pay for the upgrade to the Express rate. And again, back to the Express Lab.
So apparently, only blood tests could be done there. No sputum tests. No x-rays. Fine, fine. He took a seat. Before he got pricked, the nurse asked what he was getting the tests for. He hesitated, so I just answered we came from IDS, hoping that she’d understand without us having to spell it out. But she continued to badger. Was this for employment? A check up? Close tayo, teh? I was fed up. Just blurt it out. You want to know? Fine. He said HIV. Happy now? She went on telling my friend not to be too paranoid about the tests and all... Hmmm, free counseling I see. Interesting.
From there, we were pointed to the x-ray section, where we were pointed once again to the OPD building. We got there and it was closed for lunch. Let’s try the sputum.
We headed back to the IDS to ask where we were supposed to go, and nursey pointed us to another section, Lab Info, the same one we passed earlier. Okay, we were really making the rounds.
So apparently, we again weren’t charged the right rate at the cashier, so we’d have to line up. Again. At that point it was noon, and we gave up. He needed to be somewhere after lunch. We agreed that at least we got most of his tests done. And at least we got to tour the PGH, albeit mostly unnecessary, but together.
From there, we had a well-deserved lunch, just some pasta and chicken at McDonalds across the street. Remember, he had been fasting since the night before for his blood tests. So I’m sure he was happy.
We were both skins sweaty, both bodies tired, both legs aching, both tummies finally full, and it was time to go. From there, we were off. He was on his way to school – yes, school – he was enrolling that afternoon... and I was on my way home.
PGH was an experience. It was a long arduous day. But it was a good one. I got to spend the day with my favorite new person. He was happy not having to go through all that alone. And I was happy that he was happy. And I apologize in advance, but let me just say, at the end of the day, I was happy I was with RITM.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
You and the Youth
Last March 12th was unlike any Saturday. While there was a Yoga for Life session, I was excused because I was to be one of YFL’s representatives to a major major activity of another of the HIV NGOs. Youth AIDS Filipinas Alliance or YAFA was launching its latest awareness campaign. Entitled the I Am Positive campaign, it was brilliant because the heavens know the thought of such a concept had crossed my mind already before. And to see it, albeit not my own doing, made me think, “Damn, brilliant!”
So Saturday morning, I was on my way to Manila Grand Opera Hotel, the venue of the event. I had it all planned out, having searched for its exact location, mapping my route, plotting my schedule. But I needed to make drastic changes to my travel at the last minute, as non-operational LRT stations botched my plans. Ergo, I was late. Well, not so bad, just about 10 minutes. So I guess you can say I was fashionably late.
Getting there, I saw some familiar faces. A long-time-no-see pozzie friend, Juan dela Cruz, greeted me as I entered. Saw a number of YAFA peeps, who I’d gotten acquainted with as fellow Yoga for Lifers. A number of other people I knew from other NGOs and government agencies. Even the UNICEF lady who E and I worked with for the Power Of You campaign in Subic and Cebu was there.
Checking out the programme, a number of other familiar faces would be there. Performing would be Nyoy Volante and my ever favorite Kung-Ako-Na-Lang-Sana girl, Bituin Escalante. Whoa. Not bad. Not bad at all.
I knew Congressman Revilla was to be guest of honor. I had been jokingly wondering which Revilla it was. I swear, I didn’t know. Tina Revilla? Not exactly the politician type. Bong Revilla? Isn’t he a senator now? Jolo Revilla? He’s too busy with showbiz. I jokingly wondered if it was Lani Mercado-Revilla. Sure enough, it was. She never struck me as a Revilla, because she was always known as Lani Mercado.
I didn’t know that she was into HIV issues. I was told she was an advocate, rightfully so since she is mother to confirmedly sexually active kids. If we recall, her son Jolo sired a son with the daughter of Rosanna Roces, out of wedlock and at such a young age. And then her other child, a daughter, was pregnant at age 16. Hmm. Sounded good, if only she wasn’t feeling important enough to be more than an hour late for the event. Oh well. Might be Noynoy’s fault for banning the indiscriminate use of sirens.
So anyways, the event began late still without Ms. Revilla, with speeches from the head of YAFA, and representatives of UNICEF and UNFPA going ahead. I think the most common thing about all the speeches were the reason behind the campaign. Statistics saying the Philippines is one of only seven countries with an alarming rise in HIV cases were cited as reasons. I don’t know. For me, the rising rates still just say that more people are having the guts to get tested, which isn’t exactly a bad thing.
Up next, another huge part of the event, was the launch of YAFA’s Youth Ambassadors. Consisting of individuals in their 20s and below, this was a group that would be roaming the Philippines to spread education and awareness on HIV issues to their fellow youths.
A hefty group of seventeen, it was astoundingly a mixed group. Genders? Males and females. Sexual orientations? Straight, gay and bi. Regions? Metro Manila, Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. At-risk groups? MSM (men who have sex with men), IDU (injecting drug users) and F/MSW (sex workers). HIV statuses? Positive and negative. Just really all sorts were represented in the 17 individuals. I guess the only common thing was that they were all youths. Precisely, Youth Ambassadors.
Finally, the time came for Congresswoman Revilla to take the podium. She started off well, citing the reason for her concern, and using her own kids as examples. But then her speech took a turn… for the worse. As she bombarded us with statistics and research, I noticed she began delving into data about condoms being ineffective, condoms having holes bigger than the HIV virus, and condoms encouraging promiscuity. I needed to refresh myself, what event was this again?
In a while, she made it clear. She was against the Reproductive Health Bill, and was going the path of promoting an Abstinence-Only campaign. So what in hell’s name was she doing here? I have no idea.
Seriously, Ms. Revilla? Are you not aware that at least two of your own children have taken the risk? Have you even had them tested for HIV? Don’t tell me that a condom appeared in their dreams and persuaded them to have sex? Oi, you’ve been starring in too many fictional stories… or maybe had too many doses of anesthetics.
At the end of her speech, I did not clap. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who reacted violently. I know at least one other person wanted to speak to her before she left. But she didn’t accept the confrontation, asking the person to e-mail his thoughts to her. Yes, she left the event right after lunch, missing out on the open forum. I smelled the fear. Anywho, as the good congresswoman fled, so did the antagonism.
So instead, the concerns with her speech were flung at the Youth Ambassadors at the open forum, to which they answered that they would still be promoting all forms of awareness and education on prevention measures, condoms and all. That was good to hear.
While sadly not all of the seventeen Youth Ambassadors were there, it was a good representation. There was a performer, a pharmacist, a nurse, and a med student among the eight who were there.
I guess my biggest concern with the Youth Ambassadors would be how committed and capable they are to live the I Am Positive campaign. I do know one Ambassador chose against joining the press conference/open forum because he wasn’t ready for or into that sort of thing. He was also concerned about his fellow Ambassadors who were disclosing their HIV statuses. Hmm. What’s an ambassador supposed to do again?
And the two of them there who disclosed their HIV positive statuses seemed they were still dealing with a lot of their own personal issues. It seemed that getting onto the advocacy bandwagon was their way of coping. Now I’m not saying that it’s illegal to be all emo and teary about being HIV positive, but then I wished they came across as more prepared and ready, and committed to saying with conviction “I AM POSITIVE” in all senses of the statement.
I regret that no one thought this up back when I was still classified as “youth”. Hehehe. Sans the Revilla incident, I can say the event was a success. This was, after all, just the beginning of the campaign. The real work comes as they face their peers around the country, and only then can we judge the success of the campaign, if indeed they spark a new generation of advocates in the Youth Ambassadors and the people they will reach. Congratulations YAFA!
You can learn more about YAFA and the Youth Ambassadors on their website and you can also find them on Facebook.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Temptation
In the straight crowd, they say there is such a thing as the seven-year itch, which I think means that seven years into a marriage or relationship, reevaluation of the partnership happens, and infidelity tends to step in. Okay, fine. So maybe I’m not straight enough for this to even remotely apply. But honestly, I am feeling an itch. And it’s been just six months into my relationship. So it’s a six-month itch… not even close to seven years. But already, the itch is creeping in. Heavens help me.
Ex-boyfriends of years ago have been making their presence felt again. Not really wanting to try again, but just for old times sex sake. Even the one ex with whom my breakup was far from civil has been haunting me. As in he lied to me, cheated on me, owes me money, and made up stories, to the point that I’m tempted to infect him with my HIV and some STDs just to get back at him… But then, to give him the pleasure of my sex would just be too much in his favor, so I haven’t acted upon his advances.
Some former fuck buddies are back. These are guys with whom my trysts can still stir an erection in me even after all these years, so completely forgetting these hot guys and the hot sex is completely alien to me. I’m not sure if it’s a gift or a curse that I am able to keep fuck buddies of years and more years ago. I guess I try not to be a wham-bang-thank-you-man kind of guy, and can actually build a friendship on the foundation of great sex. And great sex it was indeed.
Pozzie friends should be expected. I’ve had more than my fair share of positively romantic proposals. And if I ever did give in, it would be more than just because we were both HIV positive. These guys are smoking hot and oh so my type! Some pozzie friends, have even been crossing from the Yoga for Life line. I’m beginning to question my principle of not shagging in my own backyard.
Speaking of backyards, I even have a neighbor in my list. As in the guy lives about a block away, in a house that I walk past every single day. Hey, it’s not my fault that he followed me home a couple of times and mustered up the courage to talk to me the next chance he got. But man, a block away? Who are the people in your neighborhood? I now know one of mine. How much more convenient can it get?
Strangers, of course. Buses, the MRT, the mall… good thing I’m not even really into bathhouses, gay bars and other more rampantly sleazy places. And then the internet. Oi. Fine, my fault for still having my accounts on personals sites up. But even without those, even Facebook is becoming a potential cruising place for me. Argh.
Unfortunately, fidelity has never been one of my strong points. I mean I have managed to be completely faithful to some guys I was with… okay, fine… I think I’ve done it twice out of seven. But those two periods I was able to do it, I did under my own power and choice. But, mind you, it was never easy.
I’m not blaming any of these male stimuli for being hot. It’s my fault for giving in to seduction. And until now, I have never regretted having sex with anyone. It was my choice every single time.
It’s just me. I love sex. I absolutely love sex. I love giving pleasure. It fulfills me. I gain pleasure from giving pleasure. And to a point, I let it define my role in life. Who doesn’t want to be of service to others? Some do it through charity. I just happen to do it through sex among other things.
So I really hope the boyfriend knows what he got himself into choosing me as a partner. I mean, yes, he does know every mince of past that I have. He knows I’m HIV positive. He knows I’m a slut. He knows I have the sexual charge of five grown men. He knows I have kinks others can only imagine. He knows it all. But the one thing that makes the story different is that he chose to accept it all. Darn.
So I’m trying. I’m trying extremely hard. It’s not frickin’ easy. At all. And the boyfriend hinting he’d be open to letting other guys into our relationship is not helping my noble cause. Argh.
We all know I’m no angel. So just wish me luck on my huge endeavor. May I make it through my six-month itch. And the seven… And the eight… And… And as Eva Eugenio once sang, O tukso, layuan mo ako.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Prescription for Objection
I first saw a friend’s Facebook post ranting about Ayala Alabang. I didn’t understand really what it was all about, and brushed it off as something personal. Oi, little did I know that there was more to the sentiment. And boy, when I found out, was I shocked! Who wasn’t? Rumor has it, you now need a prescription to buy condoms in Barangay Ayala Alabang.
No... effing... way.
I heard it on TV, read it in the papers, and of course, it’s true. I searched frantically for where this all came from. Fortunately, the Alabang Bulletin website itself carries the very source. Apparently, this was an ordinance passed by the Ayala Alabang Barangay Council just this year. Entitled “An Ordinance Providing for the Safety and Protection of the Unborn Child within the Territorial Jurisdiction of Barangay Ayala Alabang,” I just had to read it for myself.
So indeed, Section 3 which states the objectives mentions repeatedly about the unborn child, unborn child and unborn child. And right off the bat, starting with the objectives, I OBJECT! What the hell does the “unborn child” have to do with condoms?
I just think that if condoms were indeed used, and used properly, there wouldn’t be an unborn child in the first place. And if there indeed was an unborn child already - ergo sperm has met the egg - then condoms can’t do any more harm to it, can they? So the condoms and the unborn child connection absolutely does NOT compute.
At this point, I need to make clear that I can only defend condoms. The rest, which are defined to be abortifacients, I leave to the straights to take care of. I seriously doubt if I’ll ever need the service of abortifacients in my personal capacities.
In truth, condoms were only really mentioned explicitly once. Section 2 D states that the Barangay, “denounces the use of condoms as far as they promote and sanction immoral sexual congresses among the unmarried and especially among the young...”
Poor, poor condoms. Why denounce condoms? Do condoms contain subliminal messages that human beings do not have the intellectual capacity to thwart? Or is it not true that human beings entertain their own thoughts, make their own decisions, and are responsible for their own actions?
Seriously?! Are we not in 2011 to be this prude? Was it not some biblical character who said something like, “Go forth and multiply”? If that’s not promoting sex, what is? Should we then condemn the bible and Catholicism altogether?
In addition, Section 2 D also states that the Barangay, “condemns the irresponsible and indiscriminate use of contraceptives as they undermine the solidarity of families by promoting premarital sex, giving rise to more fatherless children, more single mothers, more poverty, and more abortions when the contraceptives fail to prevent conception, and by causing a decline of legitimate marriages”
So, in the same sense, should we condemn the use of seatbelts altogether because they also give rise to more fatherless children, more single mothers, more poverty and more abortions when seatbelts fail to prevent deaths due to road accidents? Duh.
And is there a study that proves that contraceptives actually cause a decline of legitimate marriages? I thought we were protecting the unborn child? How come it seems we are now protecting legitimate marriages? Again, the connection is lost.
Personally, I actually think this ordinance was just a sneaky way of getting condoms into trouble by generalizing the contraceptives category. I mean, seriously, to ask for a prescription for condoms... Isn’t that a bit much?
If doctors do prescribe condoms, I suggest they give free Viagra along with it, as people would have to sustain erections much longer to make up for the consultation time. Oh and the clinics should be open 24 hours a day, too, to accommodate late night and early morning spontaneous sex.
I mean, Filipinos are conservative now as it is, that you have to take a pack of condoms up to the cashier. And now you have to go to a doctor to prescribe them? Considering it would technically be a doctor’s consultation to have to ask for a prescription, a consultation you may have to pay for, could this be a ploy for additional income for doctors in Ayala Alabang? Don’t doctors in Ayala Alabang have anything better to do than prescribe condoms? How sad.
Fine, so maybe I’m biased towards condoms, but let me ask you a few questions...
If this were enacted just to save the unborn child, then should this prescription requirement not be targeted only to straight couples having vaginal sex? Because the last time I checked, homosexual acts, and anal and oral sex can only give rise to pregnant tonsils and fudgy cream pies. Let’s not even talk about bestiality. No unborn children there... ever.
Oi, there are so many issues in this ordinance that violate basic human rights.
If in this Barangay, commercial entities are not allowed the fair right to do business and sell their innocent goods, then they should pack up and move out of the Barangay. If schools are not allowed to be proactive and care enough to uphold their constituents’ rights to education, albeit sex education, then these schools should move where they are free to do their duty. Barangays need to care for businesses too, ya know.
Clearly, this Barangay has a hidden agenda, and does not truly care about the wellbeing of their people. To everyone living in Ayala Alabang, move out, and go to where you will be cared for. Or stay there, and just go to neighboring barangays to get condoms and get the health services you deserve.
Oh, and next time, do NOT vote for the people behind this ordinance, namely Barangay Captain ALFRED A. XEREZ-BURGOS, JR., Barangay Councilors JOANNA CALUGCUG, ALICE A. BACANI, MARIA CARMEN G. REYES, MA. SOLEDAD M. TUGADE, MARIANO S.MANAS, JR., APOLINARIO R. DE LOS SANTOS III, GIANCARLO A. NAZARIO, and SK Chairman JUAN ENRICO A. PARFAN.
They are NOT at your service. They are not very smart either. While Ayala Alabang is known to be the village of the rich and cultured, clearly, the rich and cultured are not exempt from being uneducated.
A quick search reveals that Alfred A. Xerez-Burgos Jr. is President and CEO Landco Pacific Corporation (I would think twice about living in Landco properties now). He is President of the Muntinlupa Development Foundation, a 20-year old Foundation helping the poor people of Muntinlupa (helping themm multiply?). He is also the President of Club Punta Fuego, Inc., and Chairman of Philippine Red Cross, Rizal Chapter (seriously?). He graduated from the Asian Institute of Management in 1971. Prior to this, he graduated among the top 25% of his class from the De La Salle University in 1969 (yes, La Salle, he is your product).
One last question. If I move to Ayala Alabang and have unprotected sex with everyone there and infect everyone with HIV, would I be applauded and excused because of the unavailability of condoms? You know, for the protection of the unborn child? Hmm, interesting.
Read the entire text of the ordinance below, or visit the Alabang Bulletin website.
Republic of the Philippines, City of Muntinlupa
Sanggunian Barangay of Ayala Alabang
Barangay Ordinance No. 01, Series of 2011
AN ORDINANCE PROVIDING FOR THE SAFETY AND PROTECTION OF THE UNBORN CHILD WITHIN THE TERRITORIAL JURISDICTION OF BARANGAY AYALA ALABANG; FIXING PENALTIES FOR ITS VIOLATIONS, AND, FOR OTHER PURPOSES
Be it enacted by the Sangguniang Barangay of Ayala Alabang, Muntinlupa City:
SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE
This Ordinance shall be known as the Protection of the Unborn Child Ordinance of 2011.
SECTION 2. DECLARATION OF BARANGAY POLICIES
A. BARANGAY AYALA ALABANG (hereafter, the BARANGAY) upholds (a) the State’s recognition of the sanctity of family life and its obligation to protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social institution (Article II, Section 12 of the Constitution); (b) the duty of the State “to equally protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn child from conception” (Ibid.) since the unborn is the family’s most vulnerable member, and, (c) the State’s identification of the Filipino family including the unborn child as “the foundation of the nation” and its pledge to “strengthen the family’s solidarity and actively promote its total development” [Article XV, Section 3 (1)];
B. The BARANGAY also adheres to (a) the State’s declared policy of “full respect for human rights” (Article II, Section 11), the most basic of which is the right to life for without it all other rights become meaningless; (b) the implicit Constitutional principle that the people’s right to life (Article III, Section 1) like that of the unborn child is an absolute value and norm that cannot be repealed by ordinary legislation;
C. The BARANGAY likewise supports the State’s recognition of (a) the right of children to proper care and nutrition, protection from all forms of neglect, abuse, cruelty, exploitation and other conditions prejudicial to their development [Article XV, Section 3 (2)]; (b) the vital role of the youth in nation building, and (c) its commitment to promote and protect their physical, moral, spiritual, intellectual and social well-being, and, (d) the role of women in nation-building, and, its pledge to ensure the fundamental equality before the law of women and men (Article II, Sections 13 & 14);
D. The BARANGAY as well (a) endorses the view that contraceptive pills and hormonal contraceptives and the IUD may kill children and injure the health of women who use them; (b) condemns the irresponsible and indiscriminate use of contraceptives as they undermine the solidarity of families by promoting premarital sex, giving rise to more fatherless children, more single mothers, more poverty, and more abortions when the contraceptives fail to prevent conception, and by causing a decline of legitimate marriages, and, (c) denounces the use of condoms as far as they promote and sanction immoral sexual congresses among the unmarried and especially among the young, thereby contradicting the Constitutional injunction that the State “shall promote and protect … the physical, moral, spiritual, intellectual and social well-being” of the youth;
E. The BARANGAY (a) acknowledges that the unborn possesses and enjoys all human rights like other persons by nature and by law and that he or she shall be entitled first and foremost to the right of life, safety and protection even as he or she may still be in his or her mother’s womb; (b) follows the mandate of the Constitution that the unborn child shall be protected from the moment of conception from all outside interventions, interferences or intrusions, including, but not limited to, intentional acts that may be medically considered as abortive whether through the use of chemicals, surgical or abdominal massage during the natural process of growth of the fertilized ovum, and (c) backs up the principle that the right of the parents over their minor daughters with unborn children is superior to that of the State in instances involving the safety, protection and welfare of the said unborn children and their mothers of minor age; and,
F. The BARANGAY lastly deduces from pertinent Constitutional tenets that since life begins at conception there is no place for the so-called “free choice” argument to justify compulsory sex education in the schools within its territorial jurisdiction that, among other things, disregards “the right of families or family associations to participate in the planning and implementation of policies and programs that affect them” [(Article XV, Section 3 (2)] or that insidiously allows the State to take over “the natural and primary right and duty of parents” to rear their children “for civic efficiency and the development of (their) moral character” (Article II, Section 12 last sentence).
SECTION 3. OBJECTIVES
The ordinance has the following objectives:
(a) to promote the safety, protection, and, welfare of the unborn child from the moment of conception or fertilization and during all stages of development while inside the mother’s womb;
(b) to acknowledge the unborn child as a human being with human personality and to extend the mantle of legal protection to the child from the moment of his or her conception or fertilization;
(c) to mandate that the delivery of health services to the mother during pregnancy shall be done without prejudice to the unborn child;
(d) to ensure the continued well-being and good health of the mother by protecting her from any act or threat that may adversely affect the viability of the unborn child in all stages of the mother’s pregnancy and even after the child’s delivery;
(e) to encourage the legal, moral and healthy sexual relationships among those entitled thereto under the laws of the country and pursuant to the religious convictions of the couples concerned as mandated by the Constitution; and
(f) to support the Constitutional precept that the total development of the child is a primordial duty of both the parents and the State and its agencies, including the BARANGAY.
(g) to promote and provide effective and scientifically proven Natural Family Planning (NFP) services to married couples and those engaged to be married, because NFP, unlike contraceptives, strengthens rather than weakens the marriage bond between husband and wife, which is the foundation stone of the family, the foundation of the nation.
SECTION 4. DEFINITION OF TERMS
For purposes of the Ordinance, the following terms are defined as follows:
Unborn – refers to a child at any stage of his or her existence and development beginning from the union of the sperm and the egg until the birth stage;
Conception or Fertilization – refers to the time that the sperm fertilizes the egg, which starts a new life that has a distinct existence and genetic make-up of its own;
Implantation – refers to that stage of development of the fetal life which takes place around five days after fertilization when the fertilized egg is implanted in the ovum.
Fetal development – refers to the development process of human life from the union of the sperm and egg until the birth of the child.
Abortion – any act or practice whether done intentionally or unintentionally to endanger, cause or bring about the death, injury, damage, expulsion or interference in the natural development of the fetus or the unborn child such as through “hilot” (abdominal massage), administration of certain medicines or herbal concoctions, suction, hysterectomy, saline injection, hormonal contraceptives, intra-uterine devices (IUD’s) or other similar means or devices like vacuum aspirators or abortifacient substances whether used singly or in combination with other substances.
Abortive acts – abortion practiced by the woman herself or by her parents or guardians, physicians or midwives or pharmacists who dispense abortives in violation of the provisions of the Revised Penal Code (Articles 256-259).
Contraceptive – any device or drug that is intended or has the purpose or effect of preventing conception as a consequence of sexual intercourse.
Abortifacient – is any device, medicine, substance or practice which may damage, injure, interfere with the natural development, endanger or cause the expulsion or death of an unborn child; except for such devices, medicines, substances or practices which are standard medical treatments for medical conditions which threaten the life or physical health of a pregnant woman or an unborn child, when used to treat such medical conditions, and neither the primary effect nor purpose of such device, medicine, substance, or practice is to cause the termination of a pregnancy or prevent conception. Abortifacients include Intrauterine Devices (IUD’s), and hormonal contraceptives, as well as any and all other devices, medicines, substances or practices which fall within the foregoing definition, including but not limited to the list hereto attached as Annex A entitled as List of Hormonal Contraceptives. This list shall be updated from time to time as the need arises.
Human personality – refers to the status that is gained and attaches to an unborn child from the moment of conception.
Parental Right – refers to the right of parents to give or withhold consent when minors are involved in any decision or disposition relating to unborn children at any stage of their development in the wombs of their minor mothers.
SECTION 5. HEALTH SERVICE DELIVERY
All health services performed within the territorial jurisdiction of the BARANGAY including any other institution or person, whether natural or juridical, the Barangay Health Centers and any domestic health care institution, which is duly licensed and accredited and devoted primarily to the maintenance and operation of facilities for health promotion, prevention, diagnosis, treatment, and care of individuals suffering from illness, disease, injury, disability or deformity, or in need of obstetrical or other medical and nursing care shall use only safe, ethical, effective, legal and non-abortifacient medicines or drugs or machines, devices or methods of treatment that do not cause abortion intentionally or unintentionally.
For the protection of the unborn and the institutions of marriage and family, no abortifacients shall be prescribed by health care providers within the territorial jurisdiction of the BARANGAY.
All funds which are budgeted or disbursed by the BARANGAY for programs to support responsible parenthood shall be used exclusively to promote and provide effective and scientifically proven Natural Family Planning (NFP) services to married couples and those engaged to be married.
The BARANGAY shall encourage, and where possible support, financially and otherwise, the establishment of one or more crisis pregnancy centers within the Barangay, to provide assistance in the form of counseling, and, if possible, medical and material support to women who are experiencing a crisis pregnancy.
SECTION 6. PROHIBITED ACTS
It is hereby declared illegal and unlawful for:
1. Any natural or juridical person to advertise within the territorial jurisdiction of the BARANGAY by billboards, brochures, leaflets, flyers or similar means or in any manner or form, sell, offer for free or endorse, promote, prescribe or distribute abortifacients as defined in Section 4. Definition of Terms.
2. Any person to subject an unborn child or his or her mother to acts that may endanger or expose the unborn child or mother to injury or death.
3. Any person to hold, conduct or teach compulsory sex education without prior consultation with, and written permission of, the parents or guardians of minor students in any school, public or private within the territorial jurisdiction of the BARANGAY;
4. Any funds of the BARANGAY to be used for the purchase or provision of contraceptives as defined in Section 4. Definition of Terms; and,
5. Either the BARANGAY or its employees or its agencies to solicit, accept or dispense contraceptives as defined in Section 4. Definition of Terms.
SECTION 7. REGULATED ACTS
The pertinent provisions of Republic Act No. 5921 entitled AN ACT REGULATING THE PRACTICE OF PHARMACY AND SETTING STANDARDS OF PHARMACEUTICAL EDUCATION IN THE PHILIPPINES AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES enacted into law June 21, 1969 are hereby incorporated into the Ordinance as an integral part thereof and are reproduced as follows:
“Section 37. Provisions relative to dispensing of anti-conceptional substances and devices. No drug or chemical product or device capable of provoking abortion or preventing conception as classified by the Food and Drug Administration shall be delivered or sold to any person without a proper prescription by a duly licensed physician.
The pharmacist in charge of a drug store or pharmacy after filling a prescription containing abortive or anti-conceptional substance or devices shall record in a separate register book for abortives and anti-conceptionals, the following data;
(a) Number and date of the prescription;
(b) Name and address of the physician;
(c) Name, quantity and manufacturer of the drug;
(d) Name and address of the purchaser;
(e) Date of filling the prescription; and
(f) Signature of the pharmacist filling the prescription.
“Section. 41. Other penalties. Any pharmacist who shall violate any of the provisions of Sections twenty-eight, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-seven and thirty-eight of this Act or any pharmacist after his certificate of registration has been lawfully suspended or revoked, who continues to engage in the practice of pharmacy, shall, upon conviction thereof, be sentenced to a fine of not less than one hundred pesos but shall not exceed five hundred pesos or to an imprisonment of not less than thirty days but not more than four months, in the discretion of the court.
Any person other than citizens of the Philippines having been found guilty of any violation as provided for in this and the preceding section shall, after having paid the fine or having served his sentence or both when so required be also subject to deportation.”
In addition to the above provisions of Republic Act No. 5921, classifications of drugs or chemical products or devices that are abortifacients as defined in Section 4. Definition of Terms shall also fall under the regulatory provision of this Section.
SECTION 8. PENALTIES
(a) Any person found guilty for the first time of violating any provision of Section 6 of the Ordinance shall be fined in an amount not less than P1,000 but not exceeding P5,000; for the second offense, he or she shall be fined in the amount of not less than P5,000 and be imprisoned for not less than one month but not exceeding six months; and for the third and succeeding offenses, he or she shall be sentenced to an imprisonment for not less than six months but not exceeding one year. Violators of the Ordinance shall also be held civilly liable to the offended party.
(b) If the person violating any provision of the Ordinance is an employee of the BARANGAY, he or she shall also be dismissed from his or her office and shall thereafter be barred from holding any public office.
(c) If the person violating any provision of the Ordinance is a business enterprise, firm, company or corporation or an educational institution, its president, chief executive officer or any other person responsible for the management and/or operation of the enterprise in the BARANGAY, shall suffer the penalties provided for in Section 7. In addition, the BARANGAY permit to engage in business of the said business enterprise, firm, company or corporation or to operate a private educational institution in the Barangay shall be declared null and void.
SECTION 9. EXCLUSIONARY PROVISION
Acts already proscribed by the revised penal code or by any special law are excluded from the purview of the ordinance and shall be penalized pursuant to the provisions of the code or the applicable special law.
SECTION 10. SEPARABILITY CLAUSE
If any provision of this Ordinance or part thereof is declared invalid or unconstitutional, the remaining provisions shall remain valid and subsisting.
SECTION 11. EFFECTIVITY
Within three (3) days from the enactment of this Ordinance, the Sangguniang Barangay shall furnish copies thereof to the Sangguniang Panlungsod of the City of Muntinlupa for review. If the Sangguniang Panlungsod fails to take appropriate action on the Ordinance within thirty (30) days from receipt hereof, the same shall be deemed approved. The Ordinance shall take effect upon the approval by the Sangguniang Panlungsod or as herein provided and after its posting at two conspicuous places, one at the entrance of the Barangay Hall of Ayala Alabang and another at a visible place accessible to the public in the BARANGAY for three (3) consecutive weeks and its publication in a newspaper of general circulation for one (1) week.
PASSED AND APPROVED, JANUARY 3, 2011.
Signed by Punong Barangay ALFRED A. XEREZ-BURGOS, JR., Barangay Kagawads JOANNA CALUGCUG, ALICE A. BACANI, MARIA CARMEN G. REYES, MA. SOLEDAD M. TUGADE, MARIANO S.MANAS, JR., APOLINARIO R. DE LOS SANTOS III, GIANCARLO A. NAZARIO, and SK Chairman JUAN ENRICO A. PARFAN. Attested by Barangay Secretary SANTOS A. RANCUDO.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Going Down with the Ship
I’ll have a lot more time for reading. I’ll have a lot more time for sleeping. I won’t exactly have a lot more room in my closet. But I can now stay out all night long if I feel like it. IF I feel like it. That’s still one big if.
It’s official. I’m out of a job. I’m now unemployed.
It was in the last quarter of last year that things began to get fishy at work. Certain people were pulled aside, with whom something serious was discussed. The next thing we knew, that same day was to be their last day. They were to be retrenched.
Nope, I wasn’t exactly heaving sighs of relief. Now that was an absolutely demoralizing thing, even for the rest of us who were spared. And deep inside, no pep talk from management could stop us from wondering when the next cut would be, and who would be the next victim.
During the following months, people began resigning one after the other, and for one reason or another. But I’m pretty sure the uncertain future of the company was a factor.
Again, it was difficult working through all the turmoil. And it wasn’t hard to notice how the management wasn’t even trying to replace those who were leaving. This wasn’t just about thinking positive. It was about whether or not we were blind… or even stupid. Still, some of us stood strong - I’d like to believe I was one of them - keeping focus on the tasks at hand, carrying on carrying on.
And then it happened. Apparently, before New Year, the owners decided that was it. They would cease operations. The ship was going down.
I found out unofficially in the first week of January, having had to be told only because it was detrimental to how we would be dealing with existing and potential accounts. It’s just really beyond me as to why they didn’t just spell it all out the first working day of January. Must our agony be delayed? Will it make it easier? Not at all.
Some people who did know about the pending fate of the company became so different at the time. They were less personable, more uncomfortable, not even being able to look into our eyes. Some made themselves less conspicuous in the office, transferring almost altogether to the other side, the sister company. It was funny, it felt like the captain and his staff abandoned ship, but sadly, leaving some of us behind and in the dark, and taking all the lifeboats along with them.
Finally, the second Monday of January, they made the announcement. It was a brief pep talk, but really, not brief enough. At that point, all I really needed to hear was “We’re closing by so-and-so, and we will need everyone to so-and-so before that.”
Slowly, things became clearer. It was our department, the Creatives, which housed the accounts, writers and designers, that was really getting the brunt. And tenure with the company apparently made you even more of a target. Hmm.
I hate that I understand a bit of the business, admin and human resource side of things. That it’s not that easy to close a company. That it’s odd for people being retrenched to be asked to resign. That thirty-days-notice is an absolute number, either it is or it isn’t. That all this could’ve been handled in a better way.
So for the weeks that followed, we were counting down the days. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t demoralizing for me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel any negativity. I did, I did. But I hope I kept those feelings to myself successfully. As proudly and professionally as I believe anyone could ever manage to, we trudged along, keeping up the level of service to our clients, all while watching the end of an era approach.
And by Friday, the 28th of January, after one last client meeting, we headed back to the office and three of us colleagues, three of us friends, began cleaning out our drawers. No sadness, really. We knew we did our jobs. In fact, that evening, we had a little reunion, where 10 people, who had at one time or another become colleagues at the company, got together again to catch up, this latest milestone as stimulus. A great night of chatting and drinking in the cool breeze and under the night sky.
It was not a bad year-and-a-half to sum up. It was an opportunity that came, enticing enough to draw me away from a previous job I was in for a good five years. It was an almost alien field to start with, and people from whom I learned a lot.
It was the first place where I really saw how one's HIV-status need not be detrimental to one's career. It was an unusual environment, where I may have unexpectedly just met the best straight guy friend I’ll ever have... nope, no sexual tension at all, just a lot of respect regardless of my seemingly differing sexual orientation and HIV-status, all of which he accepted, and despite which, we clicked and made a great team at that.
So for now, with this turn of events, is it an unknown future for me? Not exactly. Uncertain, maybe, but not bleak at all. It’s not like I’m going to go hungry in a day or two. Fortunately, I’m not the type to live a hand-to-mouth existence. I guess my biggest worry, once again, would be the potentially huge change. I still hate change. But then, as long as it’s something I can even try to handle, as much as I tried with this HIV thing, then bring it on.
For now, I’m just hoping I spare my mom of any worries. I actually just told her the story of what happened yesterday. A bit late, I know, but as usual, I was just handling things by myself as much as I could.
I did keep the hubby in the loop the whole while, and he’s been very supportive, and an ear to rant to, but I still hate how he promises he’d take care of me, no matter what, because he loves me. Sorry, I’m too proud to take any glimmer of charity just like that. But I love the guy and confess that I was touched when he said that. Gah. Cheesy.
Oh, well. I guess, it was all fate. It was written in the cards. Just like the HIV-positive chapter of my life.
If at least, this has kept me on my toes. If at least, it has become a time for me to evaluate exactly what I am capable of doing, what I want to do, and what is available. If at least, it has brought the realization that I’m actually quite fortunate to have options. If at least, this has reminded me how friends should hang in there for each other through thick and thin. If at least, this has taught me to take all the Feng Shui hullabaloo with a grain of salt... quit relying on burning and incense, and just do your job, will you. If at least, this has shown me that going down with the ship ain’t nothing at all to be ashamed of.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Meds, Grants & Insurance
So as I mentioned in the story of my last trip to RITM, aside from getting my ARV refill, I ended up accomplishing something else, which was to submit partially to the RITM personnel the required documents regarding my PhilHealth. PhilHealth is the Philippine government’s health insurance system. Why is it just now that I’ve needed to submit stuff regarding my health insurance information to my HIV treatment hub?
Okay, here’s the deal. The Philippines’ ARV supply is currently supported by Global Fund grants, Global Fund being an international funding agency that somewhat focuses on HIV and AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. And the Philippines is and has been a beneficiary for the past few years for HIV and AIDS, and Tuberculosis.
Naturally, that’s how funding works, right? You take out a grant for a project, towards certain goals for a certain time period. As that period draws to a close, the beneficiary is expected to furnish the benefactor the proper documentation to show where the funds went and how the funds were used. Causes or projects that are able to prove themselves trustworthy of funds can then usually easily apply for a new round of grants.
As such, the Philippines has been a beneficiary of the Global Fund for some time now. It is shouldering the cost of ARVs and some aspects of care and treatment such as medical consultations and laboratory tests. But at this point, a wave of anxiety and an unsure future is spreading through the whole positive community as it is being revealed that funding will cease by 2012.
Gasp! How cruel, how cruel! But is it really merely cruelty at all?
The first problem is that, from way back to my 2009 Funder Blunder entry, one of the non-government organizations, the Tropical Disease Foundation or TDF, that had served as a primary recipient for Global Fund grants, has failed to properly account for I-don’t-know-how-many millions of US dollars in grants, which the Global Fund itself has evaluated as “unauthorized expenditures“.
As a result of that, the Global Fund suspended for some time further funding of new beneficiaries, or new pusits. It was actually a relief that, later on, the funding was reinstated to the Philippines, with the Department of Health or DOH taking over the role that TDF was playing. So we all breathed sighs of relief. I’m quite uncertain though if TDF was able to fix the controversy it got into. Millions of dollars? I doubt.
The second problem is that the grant that is being enacted today, specifically for the care and treatment of HIV and AIDS, was really only meant to last until the year 2012. Meaning, 2012 marked the end of the period covered by the grant, and a new round of grants would need to be applied for beyond 2012. Simple, supposedly. But apparently, the country’s application for a new grant beyond 2012 didn’t make the deadline. Seriously? We missed a deadline?!
So who was supposed to do that on behalf of the country? The Philippine National AIDS Council, or PNAC. I’ve seen certain persons from the HIV organizations in online discussions blaming PNAC. HIV positives blaming PNAC for the oversight may be expected, of course, we are the ones who are directly affected, right?
But I must amusingly point out that these very HIV organizations are supposed to be members of, and be representing the positive community in PNAC, alongside government agencies like the DOH, DOLE, DOJ, and DSWD, and other non-government organizations. So wouldn’t their finger-pointing towards PNAC just ricochet back to their own organizations? Hmmm.
It’s just funny that, back in the day when we, the first positive bloggers, were making our voices heard, it was people from these very groups that were trying to take us down. And even more funny was that even as we were just putting together Positivism, they had tried to defame us, probably because they saw us as rivals for funding.
And now, we have them there on online discussions trying to rally us, the positive troops, around the issue, and even going as far as criticizing as being negligent of duty, anyone who is any ounce short of participating. Where the hell is all this negativity coming from? Heaven knows. Perhaps if certain people realized that snuffing positive voices and killing new advocacy groups was not part of their duty, then they could have fulfilled their responsibility to be representatives of the positive community.
Anyway, back to the problem of grants. So as a backup plan for persons living with HIV, should the time come that grants from Global Fund cease, Philhealth may shoulder the medical tests and services needed, and subsidize the cost of ARVs. So I had to leave photocopies of my Philhealth ID and my ARV regimen booklet, submit a copy of my Philhealth Member Data Record or MDR, as well as accomplished Philhealth Claim Forms 1 & 2. Just a few more things I need from my employer.
Since I’m currently employed, membership in PhilHealth is mandatory, so I get part of the premiums deducted from my salary automatically every month, while my employer is obliged to pay for another part. For those unemployed or who have never signed up for PhilHealth, there is an option of voluntary membership, which I think costs PhP200.00 or so a month.
So there. If at least, the Philippines is on the road to becoming less reliant on external funding to fulfill everyone’s, us HIV-positives in this case, basic right to healthcare.
Considering that voices from the grapevine say ARVs may still cost us around PhP3,000 a month even with PhilHealth subsidy, I think the ones who will be most affected by any interruption of Global Fund grants would be those who aren’t working. But then, having HIV is NOT an excuse to stop working, right? Not unless you’re paralyzed from the neck down or in a coma, which is hardly the case.
Some may think it’s easy for me to say that, since I’m currently employed and working right now. But then it is the truth. Having HIV is NOT an excuse to stop being productive. I’m not in a particularly secure situation myself right now... I’ll tell you about it later... but I’d still vouch for it.
But anyway, I’m not panicking about the funding issue. Stressing out about it this early just may affect my health, won’t it? And worrying about the future just ruins what you have today. We still have hope. No reason to stop hoping. Things will happen if they’re meant to happen. Que sera sera. For now, I still have the rest of my life to deal with. To infinity and beyond.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Goodbye for Now
Every time I hear that a fellow pozzie passes away, I just thank the heavens that it’s not anyone I know personally, especially not one of my poz posse. I know it’s harsh to think that way, but I won’t lie. And every time, I wonder how it would feel if it was one of my little poz family to go. It’s a question I can’t answer, or am just avoiding altogether. But it is bound to happen. It has always been bound to happen. And recently, it just did. I lost someone from my pozzie family.
It was Monday early morning, around 1:00 am I think. I awoke to my mobile phone ringing. I was still groggy and actually missed the call. I tried to peek through blurry eyes at who called, and realized I had an unread message as well. It was E. Bitch, patay na si Papi. Nasaksak siya. What the?! He must be kidding. E can be such a joker.
Then my phone began ringing again. It was E’s kid, Lil Jenny’s boyfriend. I answered. I sensed panic in his voice. He told me to remain calm. Wala na si Papi. I sighed deeply. He passed the phone to Lil Jenny, who was sobbing. Mami, wala na si Papi. Shit... so is it true?
I don’t know how exactly I felt. I was probably overcome with shock. But hearing the panic and grief on the other side of the line, I needed to remain calm and strong, even though my mind was reeling. I thanked them for the info, told them to relax, and said goodbye. I needed to let it sink in.
The phone rang again, and it was my other kid, RedAppleBlackMark. He said the same thing. Hearing it thrice was enough. This would’ve been too much of a conspiracy if it wasn’t true.
Papi’s gone. Papi’s gone.
Apparently, he was defending his brother against a group of guys. Then it happened. He got stabbed. Twice. Even his current boyfriend, who was with him, got stabbed. Papi didn’t even make it to the hospital alive. Thankfully, his boyfriend did.
It’s not easy to explain how I felt. I was asking myself how the hell it happened. Why the hell it happened. I blame him and his confrontational nature. But why didn’t anyone try to stop him? But that’s that. Not something I can control.
I wasn’t crying. I just might not really be the crying type. Even when my own father died six years ago, I didn’t shed more than a tear. Was I sad? Of course. Sad but not crying. Yes, it’s possible.
I won’t deny that it dawned on me that he never granted me the closure I wanted back when things between us got complicated. Why didn’t I see his confrontational self when I needed it then? He left me to my own capacities to get over things, live with unanswered questions and just move on. Good thing I did, eventually. Civil, but he and I knew things changed between us.
So I was questioning, I was introspecting, I was reminiscing, I was blaming. Even though everyone expected me to be distraught and grieving.
Honestly, I wondered if I deserved the concern people were giving me. Remember, I’m no longer the boyfriend. He is still Papi, but he is not my papi. I no longer have the privilege of acting like I got widowed.
I texted my BFF, GreenFrog, asking if he was up. Thankfully, he was. I messaged him about what was up. He suggested we talk over the phone, so he called. We discussed it, and like me, he was shocked, probably even more than I was. While we were talking, he got online and stalked Facebook. Even more confirmations. It wasn’t just my imagination. Papi’s dead. Papi’s dead.
We had talked. We had vented. But really, there was nothing that we could do. So we bade each other goodbye, and I tried my hardest to go back to sleep. A feat after all that, but I had to wake up for work in a few hours.
Waking up, I knew what had happened the night before. But I was busy. It was Monday. I needed to prepare for work. Me and my routines keep me sane. It wasn’t until I was in the bus, stuck in traffic, left with hours of time to think, that it hit me. I was tearing up, trying hard not to lose it. I don’t know what was running through my head. Probably just me still hoping that he was just happy. Argh.
That evening, I decided to go to the wake. I was glad not to have to go alone. I had BFF, W, and O and his boyfriend with me. We took the trip down south, bonded over dinner on the way, and made it. Here goes nothing.
It was a small chapel in the church compound of the village. I was surprised a bit. Less glamorous than the royalty Papi always seemed to exude. A banner that said Official NBI Morgue... must be that way for murder cases. Why’d he have to beat us to the grave? And so close to Christmas? At such an unholy hour?! And on a Sunday?!?! Geesh, always the center of attention. Oh boy, I was really distracting myself, wasn’t I?
So we walked up to the casket, and took a look. I was aloof, as usual. I didn’t need to say anything. I’m sure Papi knew what was running through my head right then and there. He looked alright. His vain self would’ve been happy. I gave him a secret smirk which said, hey, I’m here, long time no see, we have a lot of catching up to do. I think I wasn’t sad because I felt he was in a happy place. I felt he was happy to see so many people cared.
Walking away, we greeted some fellow RITM peeps - and there were a lot, mind you. Ate was there. My eldest kiddo. Y too. And so many others. Papi was a loss to the HIV community. He was ever present whenever there’d be a gathering at RITM. Even more present than I was, for sure. So much so, he was probably the one who qualified most to be an honorary pusit. And he would’ve been proud.
I always wondered why he got so attached to the positive community of RITM. I remember he told me he got himself tested at RITM for the first time in a long while back in 2008. And though he turned out negative, he developed an affinity to the people he happened to meet then. And ever since, he never got the positive community out of his system. A negative attracted to the positives. Just how a magnet says it’s supposed to be.
Even in the advent of death, it’s never too late to say thank you. So I will. Thank you for the smiles. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for that one fateful date. Thank you for laughing your ass off with me at Kimmy Dora standing at the back of the movie house. Thank you for the hugs. Thank you for the kiss and the kisses. Thank you for being my first “relationship” since finding out I was HIV-positive. Thank you for reintroducing me to the roller coaster of love. Thank you for saying you’d love me forever no matter what. Thank you for introducing me to the person who became my BFF. Thank you for being the Papi of the family. Thank you for the friendship. Thank you for sharing your life with me.
Life. You never know how it’s going to go. Too soon, they say. Too soon. So the world lost a life. I lost my first official pozzie, though just honorary. He was a couple’s son, a sibling’s brother, a friend’s friend, a stranger’s neighbor, a lover’s lover, a cause’s advocate, my posse’s daddy... and my Papi.
So long Papi. With no tears, all smiles. Goodbye for now. I’ll see you soon...
R.I.P
Papi
June 1972 - December 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Blame Game
Yoga for Life has been going on for nearly five months already. Every so often, our Yogi Bear and Babe make it a point to survey how the participants feel, both physically and mentally, so in the future an analysis could be done to produce concrete data on how yoga has benefited the participants. Along with that, they ask for feedback. Now while most of the feedback is positive, there has been negative feedback as well. One in particular, that piqued my... uhm... fancy.
During the celebration of one of the monthsaries, amid all the fun and laughter before the yoga practice, someone spoke up. After congratulating the community on the success of the program, this person pointed out that he did have one piece of negative feedback to give. I was a bit surprised actually... and curious. Everyone listened intently.
Apparently, one of his friends - someone HIV-positive - met someone else at one of the Yoga for Life sessions. And apparently they got it on. They had sex. They had unprotected sex. And what made it worse was that the person he had sex with was among the HIV-negatives who were there supporting the community. Oh boy, indeed.
As much as I wanted to speak out - biased as I would be towards Yoga for Life, yes I would defend the program to the death - I didn’t want to be a proponent to any outburst. I kept my mouth shut, but my mind was ranting throughout the yoga session. Relax, surrender and let go? My ass.
Really, the point I wanted to make was... What was the point exactly?!
It just wasn’t clear to me how that was supposed to be feedback on the Yoga for Life program. So they had sex. Fine. But unless they did it at the venue, on their yoga mats, in the middle of a yoga session, then what’s the deal? Is the Yoga for Life team expected to keep an eye on each and everyone each and every minute even outside the confines of the yoga session? It may just me, but I think not.
So certainly, the issue could have been brought up before our Yogi Bear and Babe and maybe the rest of the core group. But to have to subject even first time attendees to something like that was unthinkable... not to mention inconsiderate.
And the way it was made to seem like negative feedback on the program was outrageous. If someone had felt they’d been fouled, would it not have made more sense for that person to speak for himself? But no. A spokesperson ranted on his behalf. So to me, whether it was indeed meant to be negative feedback on the program from the person directly involved was still questionable.
Okay let me make it clear. It’s not that I don’t care that someone was put at risk. But HIV is not and should never be a blame game. But if you want it that way, let’s play.
So HIV-positive got acquainted with HIV negative. Now really, should Yoga for Life have prevented that?
So HIV-positive and HIV-negative got it on and got carried away. That’s their right. But that’s their responsibility as well.
So maybe HIV-negative assumed they were both negative. Never, ever assume. Blame awareness and education, or the lack thereof.
So maybe HIV-positive assumed they were both positive. Still, protection is for everyone, even HIV-positives. And not just to protect their partners. Did HIV-positive forget about superinfection? Did he forget about other sexually transmitted infections? Who’s to blame for that?
So on that note, if HIV-positive really meant to blame Yoga for Life for what happened, on what basis?
As someone who already was and already knew he was HIV-positive, it can be expected that he would know all about HIV. So for me, if there’s anyone to blame, it would be whoever it was who gave this guy HIV counseling, whether it’s his doctor, his nurse, or his peer counselor. He obviously didn’t learn much if he actually thought he could play victim and blame a yoga program for his misfortune.
Actually, from the beginning, I questioned whether this was actually a rant from HIV-positive, or just his spokesperson telling a story adding his own ranting tone and feel. And recently, I confirmed what it was.
I initially didn’t know who HIV-positive was. Until, during a recent yoga session, I unexpectedly happened to hear something. It was a guy, telling his yoga friend, about how he hooked up with someone at yoga after he tested positive, and how that person thankfully still turned out negative after being tested after the hook up. I thought to myself, “So, it was you.”
It was interesting how the guy told his story. A bit cocky, without a tinge of remorse. Sort of proud, even. Hello, he told it loud enough for me to hear, right? Wisely, his yoga friend pointed out how there was still that little complication of the window period and how he shouldn‘t rest on his laurels just yet. That was the last I heard.
Clearly, it seemed HIV-positive didn’t get the full impact of what happened. And as much as I wanted to pull him aside and slap some sense into him, it would be counterproductive to subject him to public humiliation. And I’m sure if I took him on in a blame game, he would’ve lost.
I’m still tempted to pull him aside one of these days and engage him in a bit of counseling. But it will have to be done discreetly, as I have no plans of intimidating him, scaring him, or shaming him into oblivion.
My point will simply be... enough with the blame game. Take responsibility for your actions. Sex is a personal thing. So don’t even attempt to have a spokesperson speak up for you.
And a spokesperson too should know his limits. Stop spoon feeding. If someone is old enough to produce sperm, then he should be old enough to take responsibility, too. He’s too old to be playing the blame game. And neither should you take on playing the blame game for him.
This is a lesson that applies to everyone. Take responsibility. It applies even to safe sex. Take responsibility for yourself. Protect yourself. It’s your right. It’s your responsibility.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Money Matters
I’ve been feeling a financial crunch lately - on a personal level, that is. Right now, I have less than PhP 200.00 in my wallet. That’s pretty decent on a regular day. But it’s a weekend. And even before the gimmick worthy night creeps in, I’m already concerned. We usually have lunch out at work every Friday. So I’ve been forced to feign a diet and watch what I eat. Not for the calories, but for the pesos I’ll be spending.
Oi. Money. They say it makes the world go ‘round. If there’s any truth to that, then my world is coming to a screeching halt.
Okay fine, I’m not really that broke. It’s just that for my last few paydays, I seem to have racked up a good amount of expenses. Let’s do some accounting.
Naturally, daily expenses are there. Commutes to and from work, meals and other incidentals at work are staples. If only I could stop at staples. There are the monthly bills to pay, of course. But wait, there’s more!
The first spend that I remember is also the most remarkable. Christmas. I’m not excited, but a sale makes it too easy. This early, I’ve bought Christmas gifts for both my mom and myself. Remarkable, I say, because buying an LCD television for each of us isn’t a joke. One of the rare times I’ve allowed myself to eat into my savings. I rationalize it with the sale price, the savings on electricity I stand to gain, and the look of disbelief on my mom’s face when her least successful child offers to pay for a little bit of luxury. Hehehe.
And then there are all those tests I needed to pay for when I last paid RITM a visit for my CD4 count. Over PhP 2,000.00 worth, and I’m not even done yet. They say I need to go back for a repeat of my RPR to check if my syphilis is indeed still active. Argh. Another thousand there.Recently, I offered to shoulder medications for someone confined at the RITM. Considering it wasn’t anyone I knew, I really didn’t need to help. But the way Ate pulled me aside and told me how this person’s mother would choose walk to and from the drugstore every day just to save on fare, my heartstrings were pulled. With an unexpectedly small amount, I was able to cover her needs for a month. At least, her mom can lay off the walkathon for a month.
My exercise regimen is something I’ve added. There’s Yoga for Life. Of course, the sessions are really free, but any donations are used to shoulder the cost of the venue. Indigent students aren’t expected to donate if they can’t. But then, HELLO! I’ve got my pride. I am NOT indigent. So I give what I can to shoulder my share. Take that! Oh, and I have been in the process of putting together some way to work out at home. I have my yoga mat, a bench, and my first installment of dumbbells. Slowly but surely, so the costs come slowly as well. Hehe.
My little Bastard is another factor. It’s like having a kid. I get carried away shopping for stuff for him. A cage, food, toiletries, pee & poop pads, leashes & collars, a little carry bag, and lots of toys. And it’s depressing when he foregoes his toys to play with the plastic bag. Argh.
And as my first official dog, I’ve made it a point to get friendly with a vet for him. All the consultations, vitamins and shots really rack up as well. Good thing he got his last set of shots last week. Whew. He’s good till next year, we just gotta keep him healthy. It’s bad enough that I wasn’t careful enough to keep my own doctor away, so I’m bringing him up the right way now. Yep, even in the canine world, prevention is better than the cure.
And then of course, we cannot forget this little relationship that I’m in. I don’t know if I speak for anyone else, but dating can be expensive. Especially for me, since I’m coupled with someone who won’t let a week pass without seeing me at least twice. The dinners and movies are fun, but then he’s not the eat-just-anywhere type. He needs restaurants with decent food and excellent service, which means no Burger Machines and Aling Nena‘s Carinderias. But neither am I the freeloading type. I pay for my fair share of the tab. Yep, that’s proud little me.
So there. I’m maxed out. Well I’m not exactly broke. It’s my miserly fault too for doing everything in my power not to touch what I already have in savings.
So at this point, I need to beg. From you. From anyone out there. Not for myself, but for my beneficiary at the RITM I mentioned earlier. She’s confined right now, and is on medication for six months. A cocktail of medicines for some sort of respiratory infection, I think. Based on the per piece prices I got at the Generics Pharmacy, here’s the damage:
~ Rifampicin, 450 mg - PhP 8.25
~ Isoniazid, 300 mg - PhP 1.30
~ Ethambutol, 2 x 200 mg - PhP 4.20 each
~ PZA or P2A, 500 mg - PhP 3.50
Sorry, I’m just reading off the prescription Ate wrote out for me. So this is her daily regimen, which racks up to just a bit over PhP 20.00 a day. Not bad for us who are financially able. Compare that to some of our daily luxuries, right? But the reality of things is that one trip through Starbucks can already mean about a week of life to some who really need it.
So with that, I’d like to once again extend my plea to those of you who’d like to help. Please, please, please? Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me if you already know my contact, or via e-mail, pinoycumeater@yahoo.com.
For now, I remain budget conscious myself, and will draw upon the easy-to-please side of me. But I’ll be trying to do what I can as well. Thank heavens it was payday yesterday. Because money or not, the world will - and should - continue to go ‘round.
Friday, July 02, 2010
The White Party
Last weekend? I was dreading it. It was to be a particularly not-so-usual one. This was one of the few times I would have rather not had the weekend.
A party? Am I supposed to be happy because I was going to a party? Well I wasn't.
What party was this? The White Party... in Malate.
The White Party. In Malate. Malate, I've been to before. But never really got the hang of it. It's... too pretentious. Too snooty. Too sleazy. Too gay even. Yep, that's how this twisted mind of mine works. And the White Party is like exponentiating the usual Malate weekend to the hundredth power. Gah.
Okay, I wasn't really going there for the party itself. I was going to be there to support the Take the Test booth which was going to be set up as part of the event. Note from E: Wear white and baby blue. White?! And baby blue?! Not exactly the best combination for a melanin-enhanced individual as myself. Read: MAITIM AKO. In white and baby blue? Glow in the dark!
And with that, even just preparing for that weekend was stressful too. I had to buy myself a new pair of white shorts. And without shoes to go with that, I had to get a new pair too. I was able to dig up an old light blue and white striped polo, but worried I'd be overdressed for my own sake, so I had a simple light blue shirt as back up.
So after a full day Saturday, with yoga and a quick dip in the pool in the afternoon, I was able to sneak in a couple of hours of sleep before heading off to Malate for the 10:00 pm calltime.
I got there early, as expected. And not knowing anyone there yet, I just stood out on the street waiting for word from E and our Take the Test boss. Was glad to see LuckyTrese pass by, but he was on his own romp for the night.
After a while, the boss showed up. We set up a tiny table with signs, while waiting for E who had the flyers, late as usual. Hehe. This time, no actual testing was going to commence. We were just going to give out flyers with a bit of HIV trivia, a list of testing centers, and the URL of Take the Test site for further information. E showed up after a while. And then it started... stage fright... and I wasn't even onstage.
I'm anti-social. You know that, right? So the prospect of having to face people by the droves was absolutely dreadful. The boss and E were game to do it. Good thing a lot of other friends were in the area willing to help us give out the flyers. One particular guy, a stranger actually, came over to help out, in exchange for being able to put his beer bottle down on our table. Hehehe, works for me.
I got assigned to fold the flyers. Okay fine, I volunteered to do it. I was able to give a few flyers away to passersby, but not without every ounce of anxiety I could muster.
How did people take it? Some just walked by, and some got curious wondering what we were about. Some took the flyers, some waved it off.
I think the worst was two guys who approached, extremely curious. We handed them each a flyer, but when they found out it was about HIV, they hurriedly gave it back as if they had an allergic reaction or would get infected by just having it in their possession. Oi. Sad, sad, sad.
And the best? One guy approached the table with some friends, and took a flyer telling us, "You're doing a good thing with this." That was nice.
Past 1:00 am, we closed shop. I think we gave out around two-thirds of the flyers... which, if we started with a ream of bond paper cut in half, would be somewhere over 600 pieces. Not bad.
From there, we headed over to a bar to meet some friends. Oh, I needed a drink badly... I still hadn't drank my ARVs yet. That makes me around 4 hours late. Shhh. So anyway, I finally downed them against a shot of some blue concoction which I'm not familiar with... sorry I'm really not an alcohol expert... I could live on just a pale pilsen any day.
After a short while, we headed to Bed, the bar I mean. I was not looking forward to it actually. Bed on a normal weekend is dense enough. On a White Party weekend? You guessed it. Packed! We headed in, at which point I actually lost sight of my friends for a few minutes. I stood midway up the stairs trying to make out any familiar face in the dimly lit room. Good thing I saw them finally near the bar.
Making my way to them, claustrophobia was already setting in. It's worse than the MRT at rush hour, because it was dark, and hot, and everyone was trying to sway to the beat. Geez, just give me my beer. From there we headed up to the second floor. I found an oasis when I chanced upon a vacant seat at the couches. When it's that tight a space, you appreciate even the breathing space you have between your face and your knees. Seriously.
Slowly, I was wilting away. I was tired. I was on ARVs. And of course, it was way past my bedtime. So I made my great escape, leaving everyone else behind. Walking out to get a cab, I glanced at my watch. It was 4:00 am. Really, it was time for me to go.
Honestly, I had no regrets. Being tired, getting harassed and all, it was fine. Was just glad to get the chance to be witness to Take the Test for the first time, if at least just by my presence. I just really hope we at least made a few HIV ripples in the crowd that night.
Other than that... my other thought would be... that I've had enough of Malate for another 5 years. Obviously! It took me a week to recover enough to blog it, right? And so the question remains... Inay... bading ba talaga ako? Just kidding! Proudly! Pwera Malate...
