Murphy Knows

Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will… and at the worst possible time.

Who is this Murphy guy anyway? And what hand of God gave him the right to conspire with the fates?

Ok, ok, hold on now… Before you misconstrue this as my being in denial or angry about my condition, let me explain. I do believe in Murphy’s Law. That’s a given. But how come even the opposite of his law still makes sense?

If anything can go right it will. True, right? But I say, if anything can go right it will… but still at the worst possible time. Hahaha.

I’m HIV positive. Yeah, we all know that by now. And I’m at the point where I’m thinking I don’t have a right to have a sex life, or a love life for that matter. I’ll worry about that part some other time. But has HIV affected my eyesight, or are there just so many good-looking guys out there tempting my attempts at celibacy?

I’d made trips to the mall over the weekend. Pure, pure torture. Hot guys everywhere I look. Hot guys showing interest even. Making eye contact. But no. I have no choice but to look away. O, tukso, layuan mo ako…

And this isn’t the only case. I’ve noticed before that exactly when I‘m single and available, it seems no one is interested. But the moment I get into a relationship, and am trying sooo hard to be faithful, temptation rears its gorgeous head. Argh! Why?! Why?!

Worst case? I’ll have to have “HIV positive” tattooed on my forehead. That should keep them away.

Let me just make it clear, I’m not planning on consciously putting someone in danger of catching this “blessing” that I’ve got. I do have a conscience. So all you hot, gorgeous, horny, sexy guys out there… NO. I can’t have you. Or maybe I can… but I shouldn’t.

So why now?! Why weren’t these guys around when I actually could have had them? Who the hell told Murphy I was poz?!