Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


As you can see, this blog has been going through some major changes. I’ve been experimenting. Trial and error, just as I live my life. My bit of knowledge in web design has allowed me some freedom to tweak. Color scheme is new. Fonts are new. My banner is new. Even my picture is new. This is a sign that I’m really dedicated to keeping, maintaining and improving this site for everyone who remains interested. Odd, isn’t it, that I’m not focusing on HIV this time?

I’ve been undergoing a makeover myself… subconsciously. I mean, it was one big change to discover that I had HIV, but right now, I realize that I’ve adjusted. From the shocked, paranoid, jittery, worried me, I am now more subdued, relaxed, and eager to learn and share. Extremely optimistic. Happy. Back to my old self actually, but in an HIV positive way.

I’ve been getting back in touch with friends. I’ve been interacting a bit more. Hell, I’ll admit, I’ve even been on a trip to the pharmacy… of all things, to buy condoms. I know! What the fuck?!

The change in my color scheme I think can sum it all up. I’m a very visual person. And I live a colorful life. I love most colors, but most especially reds, blues and blacks.

My blog colors before were high contrasts between white, black and shocking reds. Extremely harsh. Code red always came to my mind when I’d surf this blog, which was exactly me. On red alert because of my HIV.

Now, I’ve realized that things aren’t all that bad. HIV is not my entirety. It is only part of who I am. And our eyes now swim in cool blues floating in a dark sea, punctuated occasionally by shades of red.

That’s exactly me, or how I want to be. HIV positive, but cool about it.

Give me some feedback. This blog is, after all, for everyone. This is our blog.


thonnibg said...

Love the new layout,Pinoy!
And the nuances of the blue in the header are wonderful.The pic is also great.
I see you`re a perfectionist.

Glad to hear you`re feeling and doing pretty well!That`s what we wanna hear from you.


PinoyPoz said...

Hahaha, nah I don't think I'm a perfectionist. Wouldn't it be an irony to have an imperfect perfectionist? Hehehe. I'd use the term patient. And persistent maybe. Glad you liked it Toni!