Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Let the Paranoia Begin

red eyeThis was supposed to be my pre-birthday bash. Thanks to Gloria Arroyo, I’ve gotten the knack of making personal holidays out of days sandwiched between weekends and actual holidays.

I took a leave from work today, but was out most of the day running “errands”.

I spent the morning renewing my driver’s license. Straightforward supposedly. But so much was going through my head while there undergoing the medical exam. I got asked what medications I was taking. I’d only been on amoxicillin for the tooth extraction I underwent recently. But what if I was on HIV medications already? What would the doctor think if I blurted out “I’m on anti-retrovirals…” The reality of my fear of the stigma surfaced. Fortunately it won’t be another three years before I have to get my license renewed again. Let’s put those thoughts on the backburner... for now.


queer asian said...

I totally understand your paranoia! I hope everything is good with you.

PinoyPoz said...

Thanks! I'll be okay for sure... :-)