Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Bitch Hunt

Bitch On BoardI was catching up with one of my poz friends this past week over the phone, and I was telling him about the day I spent at the RITM. He asked me if I met a guy of this certain name. I said I wasn’t sure, but that I thought I had heard that name while waiting.

Apparently, this person is an officer of one of the so-called HIV advocacy groups. Yes, one of those that I may have referred to in earlier posts. Then my friend tells me this person reads my blog... oops, sorry, "monitors" my blog... and even prints it out. I thought to myself, "That's flattering... I think." He assured me though that they didn't have any problems with this blog, except again that they didn't want their health professionals, personnel and institutions linked with HIV. Hmm, my instincts were right. I knew it was all too good to be true.

So I then made a joke out of it, saying that if this person happened to read my entry which put me at the RITM the same day he was there, then he'd just have to guess which one I was out of the lot. Then my friend says, "Oh, they know..." Baffling enough, right? But the way he interrupted his own statement baffled me even more.

"They know what?" I asked. It took him a full minute of silence to answer. He said, "They know who you are."

I asked, "How would they know?" At this point, I knew he had backed himself into a corner, and I was just playing the scene out. He paused again, and just said, "In the HIV world, there is much transparency." Wow, I never thought it would be possible to use the words HIV and transparency in one sentence.

Consider this: T, who I've been in touch with for years, has seen every inch of me in pictures, and knows all about me and this blog, started off oblivious to the fact of who I was upon meeting. So how could this person, or his organization, who I do not know, have not met, and have never been in touch with, know who I was?

My first theory, my friend is exaggerating. Is he trying to spook me into stopping this blog? Why? I'm hoping this isn't what "friends" are for.

My second theory, someone is ratting me out. Of my HIV acquaintances, some know me personally, but do not know about my blog. And adversely, some know about my blog, but do not know me personally, all contact being confined to e-mail and chat. And there are a select few, who do know me personally AND know this blog that I do. Most, if not all of those in the overlap group, know what I hold against these so-called advocacy groups, and at least respect my views. So who is the mole? Who is selling me out?

My third theory, this person and his organization did their research. Based on the information I've put here, primarily the patient code in my earlier posts, they may have been able to dig up my records. Something very creative, but a possibility I've expected. Now, over and above fielding Republic Act 8504 repeatedly on us bloggers for mentioning the HIV treatment hubs, HIV doctors, and HIV medical personnel, shouldn’t this be the case over which R.A. 8504 truly has jurisdiction? Where did my medical confidentiality go?

Now, if there is any truth to this witch hunt that is being launched against me, let me just say to these so-called advocacy groups, don't waste your resources on little old me. Go do something more... productive. Maybe revisit your mission and your vision, and reevaluate what kind of advocacy you truly want to evoke.

Well, well, well, turns out I'm not as stupid a newbie as you thought I was, huh? Too many theories? Well, I wasn't the one who first started to make such a big deal out of things. And unless someone fesses up, the heavens hold everyone's karma.

I'm not afraid. Because I'm not the witch. Very fitting that I've dubbed myself the Back In The Closet Ho'... I'm the B.I.T.C.H. And I'm ready for the Bitch Hunt.


E said...

OMG! nabisto mo ko-JOKE! HAHAHAHAHA!

PinoyPoz said...

That deserves a BITCH-slap!


sige sige gawin mo yan kasi dapat lang hunt them and ask them if they really have served their purpose and not just do things for other purposes..........

PinoyPoz said...

It's just sad and frustrating that they're too busy being all defensive and paranoid to see that there are more important things to focus on. Too blind to see that this is information that some new poz people need to know, and all negative people need to know as well, in order to understand hiv... and us more.