Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Monday, October 06, 2008

The New Virginity

the new virginityI met a new friend this week, a fellow pozzie. So I got to treat myself to a bit of a social life, something that I’d set aside a bit for a while now.

The day was laden with such lively conversation, probably because, needless to say, we could relate to each other.

He introduced me to a new concept. He said that HIV was the New Virginity. A New Virginity?! I was so curious, but baffled at the same time. Wouldn’t you be?

He pointed out how the pre-HIV we, and the HIV-negative rest of the world technically didn’t have a need for limitations when choosing a sexual partner. Whereas we, at this new HIV stage of life, have a bit of exclusivity to consider, and sexual practices to re-think and re-learn.

Hmm, very interesting. Might this just be what I am looking for to increase my personal value? I gave it some thought.

I’ve actually set aside the possibility of having sex with anyone, long before I started on my medications. And now, I’d set my mind on letting my body adjust to the medications, before moving on to even think about other stuff that might complicate it. And that included sex.

I haven’t really been totally sexless, and honestly, I’ve still been horny as hell until now. My outlet has just shifted to a more personal level, if you know what I mean. Self-gratification has become a daily habit. Okay, okay, I saw your jaw drop. Oh, get off your high horses and gimme a break! Hehehe.

So anyways, I’ve gotten to a point where, if sex isn’t like riding a bicycle, I might just forget how to do it. Or if the law of evolution that states “use it or lose it” applies, I just might be left with one appendage and one orifice less on my body. And that’s absolutely scary. Hahaha.

So I started reminiscing, and did remember some questions that popped into my head since getting my gift. How does sex go for a pozzie like me? How will I have sex? Can I ever have sex? Who can I have sex with? What can and can’t I do?

So many questions that I have no ready answers for. Me? Asking about sex? How virginal!

And so it hit me. I was convinced. Maybe there is something to this New Virginity thing. Wow, who would’ve ever thought I’d be a virgin again. My pogi points must’ve just went up by a couple of thousand…

But so much for my New Virginity... Ooops, I lost it already. (Imagine me with a guilty smirk on my face...)


Anonymous said...

hahaha! this is so funny :-)

- C.

Anonymous said...

yeah, kinda makes you feel new doesnt it?...and believe me, the awareness of it does bring a whole new dimension into ones sex life...I've never had it better than now ...that i'm doing it safely with one....Am i making sense?

Stay well :)



maganda din na concept ito ah.

PinoyPoz said...

Sense all the way, Coure...

Interesting isn't it, Blackpool? :-)