Advocacy?

I’d been invited to attend a seminar last week, hosted by one of the HIV-advocacy-slash-support groups. I was told it would start last Thursday, and deal with ARV handling for the HIV positive as myself.

In as much as I had wanted to spend time with others like me living with HIV, and learn more essentials on ARV handling, which could not have come at a more proper time, I declined, pointing out that I had been on leave almost the whole of the previous week due to the allergic reactions to Nevirapine, and needed to catch up on work. My loss… supposedly.

Aside from that, I had my doubts from the get-go, wondering why it would need to last between three and five days, and why it was to be held in a resort out of town. My instincts could not have been more accurate.

I had heard feedback from one guy who had attended the event. Hearing words like “kissing”, “walk-out” and “petting” to describe the goings-on was shocking enough. I don’t mean to play goodie-two-shoes, or claim to be a virgin or an angel, especially since I’ve been so vocal about having been tempted to get flirty around the HIV ward at San Lazaro. But I couldn’t understand how this could become a venue for such actions. It baffled me why they needed to hide things behind the guise of a “seminar”, and why they didn’t just advertise it as a flirtfest to begin with. And what other things beyond flirting that may have happened, only God knows. Maybe they should’ve just held it in some bath house or motel to make things easier.

Even more shocking, was hearing the words “drinking”, “drunk”, and “puking” to describe other events in the evenings of the so-called seminar. Call me killjoy, but I distinctly remember every doctor’s reminders to HIV-positive little me to stay away from vices such as smoking, drugs and drinking. So are these so-called advocacy groups fostering venues for temptations and peer pressures that people like me should especially be staying away from?

I acknowledge that the organizers cannot control the actions of every individual there, but I believe they could’ve held the “seminar” in a more proper venue, and confined it to more decent hours to avoid such happenings.

Fine, maybe the participants did learn a lot about handling ARVs, but isn't this like taking one step forward and two steps back?

Needless to say, I don’t regret not being able to attend the seminar.

Advocacy is defined as “Pushing forth a cause or creating a defense to protect the beliefs of self or others”. It’s just sad to realize that this could be the kind of “advocacy” that these so-called advocacy groups are pushing, when they should be steering people like me onto the right path.

These are the times that drive me back into my closet. Whatever ARV information I’ll need, I’ll just get from my doctor.