Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

My Oh-My-Gulay July

This month of July has been absolutely... ohhh, what’s the word?!

Ghastly? Well, maybe not that negative.

Unexpected? I did know it was coming.

Overwhelming? Yes, yes, that sounds more like it.

Well it started off at my old office, where I successfully stunned everyone with the prospect of my leaving the company after almost 5 years of service. Of course no one knew of the complete story as to why I was leaving. I just summed it up as "an opportunity presenting itself".

I got asked to rethink my decision, but my mind was more or less already made up. I did think about the situation, though. But more than rethinking my decision to move, I just found myself thinking if there was any reason not to.

Of course, no one seemed to take my plan to move seriously. No one wanted to receive all the work I was turning over, and everyone who thought they were my bosses were still trying to dump more work and new projects onto my lap, seemingly oblivious of the fact that I was soon leaving. Was I flattered that they weren’t letting me go that easily? Not really. More like it was starting to piss me off.

July 15th, I woke up and went through my usual routine, but this time taking a different route to a different place. I prepared myself for a new life. New people... well, not really new... these are people I’ve been able to work with since last year. A new place... I was to become an avid MRTer, and an official Makati boy. A new job... definitely. I had no idea what to expect.

Getting there to spend my first official day was amazing. I already had a desk waiting, a laptop, and even business cards. It seemed like they had sealed my fate already, but I was cool with it. But I sort of noticed that the heavens were taunting me.

Certainly, I knew it was going to be a longer journey to Makati than Ortigas. But with the rain and all, it was like all the pros and cons of moving were presenting themselves to me early on. But for my first three days, I’ve been able to survive. I’ve been braving the jungle of people on the MRT every morning, battling the elements successfully with my health intact.

I still get to work early, aiming to maximize the morning person in me. The rest of the day is usually spent behind a desk writing, my fingers and my brain going through their paces. Thursday afternoon, though, I found myself attending to some official business in the Manila area for a change. I was game.

For lunches, I still bring ulam from home, and just buy rice at the canteen... basically just like before. Difference now is that almost everyone eats around the dining table at the office... aww... parang family. I can’t always relate to topics at the table though, which touch everything from movies and restaurants, to nightlife and alcohol. But hey, it wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t aloof, right? So bring it on!

Physically, work is still tiring... more because of it being a longer trip to and from. But it’s been tolerable. I know my body is pooped, but I find that my mind and my spirit are alive and kicking.

I even managed to attend a blogger birthday bash Friday night after work, despite just claiming it was tiring. I didn’t even have to force myself to go! Of course, I again was my old aloof self, and still managed to leave an imprint of my ass on the couch. Woohoo! I was still up and about at midnight, no thanks of course to my ARVs, and that one glass of vodka I mistakenly downed thinking it was an innocent glass of soda. Happy birthday, by the way, to OdinHood, WanderingCommuter and ToiletThoughts!

Saturday was spent grocery shopping, as usual, and just lazing around and recharging, while on Sunday, I managed to squeeze in lunch in Megamall with a new fellow-pozzie friend. I’ve really been unusually busy, huh?

It’s Monday again tomorrow – back to work – but I’m not exactly dreading going to work. That’s a good sign. So gotta go beddy-bye in a bit.

So there, that’s been my past week... and my month so far. Like I said, overwhelming. The month is far from over, but I do expect the rest of it to follow suit. Oh-my-gulay July!


Anonimus said...

While you were out shopping and dining this weekend, I was busy trying to figure out your peek-a-boo layout. I can't get the 'read more' and 'summary only' links to work properly hahaha... and the tutorials I found aren't really helpful. But I'm having fun.

Hey, from looking at your page source I think you want your display to be three columns? You need to increase the size of your outer wrapper so that your right sidebar moves up.

Ming Meows said...

nice to know you've been adjusting so well

PinoyPoz said...

@Anonimus: Oh, it took me a couple of tries myself before I got the peekaboo thing to work. I got mine off of Hackosphere. You might wanna take a look there.

About my layout, so far it's as I've meant it to be. Might be displaying differently on your computer or something. But thanks for the heads up!

If you need help with the peekaboo thingy, lemme know.

@Meowie: Whether I've adjusted successfully remains to be seen. Hehehe.

Anonimus said...

Poz i got the peekaboo thing to work properly at last! Thanks for pointing me to hackosphere.

I'll need to do this for every post, though, which is fine by my. Most of my posts are short. No need to summarize.

Thanks again.

PinoyPoz said...

@Anonimus: That's good to hear! You're welcome!

The Green Man said...

Toiletthoughts called me and invited me to their bday party... i said yes but something of utmost imporatnce came up and i had to cancel my RSVP.

E also reminded me about it.

I felt bad not being able to be there...

But I am happy that you finally took the job :-D

By the way, I heard form one friend that I am on July's issue of chalk

Summer said...

i kinda like your blog. keep it up. thanks. HIV is nothing compared to cancer and ebola. you can do a lot of things even though you have it. Be productive and don't let other people underestimate you just bec you have it. Be blessed...

odin hood said...

Thanks so much for joining us in the party!!! maybe next time labas naman tayo hehe ^_^

PinoyPoz said...

@Greenman: Hahaha, shameless plug ito Crissy!

@Summer: Thanks! Saw your entry on HIV. :-)

@OdinHood: Salamat salamat salamat! Anong maybe?! Sure yan!

Anonymous said...

hi... just dropping by!

wanderingcommuter said...

eh bakit ka nga tahimik???

hahaha... salamat!salamat po sa pagpunta.

PinoyPoz said...

@Wandy: Salamat din! Ahm, tahimik ako kasi... may natutulog? Hehehe. Ewan!

Anonymous said...

Support the development of Cytolin®. A New Approach to HIV/AIDS Treatment by visiting or

Peter Pan said...

It was such a treat seeing you at the meeting couple of weeks back after SO LONG! You are still - a year and a week later - a real inspiration to me. I've begged off the next one already. Really just need a weekend off!

And while I'm a bit sad that you have moved from your last office (just knowing you were not so far away, even though we never did do that coffee....), I'm happier for you for where you are now. The energy feels so good in that office! And I've known C for years (seeing him when I walked in was a real surprise!). I wish you every happiness my friend.

Shutterbug said...

I've been reading your blog and I must say you are a gem to those of us who are curious on how a gay man would deal with HIV here in the Philippines.

More power to you and hope to read more about you and your new life. :)

PinoyPoz said...

@PeterPan: Awww, that's sweet. :-) You might be oblivious of the fact that you yourself are inspiring. Our coffee will be on my to do list!

@Shutterbug: Thank YOU! Curiosity is indeed a virtue.

cholo said...