Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Christmas Spirit

I was awoken this morning at 5:00 am by a call on my mobile phone. The ringing didn’t last long. When I checked, it was an unknown number, so I dozed back off again. The next thing I heard was my message alert, which is a bit more annoying than my ringtone. That brought me to my senses.

Checking the message, it came from the same anonymous number, but made me smile. It was Baby Nathan’s dad, using a new sim card on my same network, greeting me a Merry Christmas, thanking me for all the help, and telling me he’d call later. Wouldn’t that make you smile? I replied with a good morning and a Merry Christmas as well.

Shortly after, another call came in. I answered this time, and it was Baby’s dad, saying Merry Christmas and asking how I was. I could hear Baby Nathan in the background obviously craving for some attention from his dad. I couldn’t help but laugh. We talked a bit about how they were discharged from the RITM last December 16th, how he’d gone back for a med refill yesterday, how Baby Nathan was doing well, and was becoming his naughty young self again and I told him I’d try to drop by sometime, since we lived in the same city. I was regretting having to work today. It’s December 24th, and I should just be relaxing in time for Christmas eve. But nooo. I have to work. The whole day. Argh.

Regardless, that call just jumpstarted my day. I got out of bed in a jiffy, and found myself preparing to glaze our Christmas ham while I was eating breakfast. Hmmm, did I finally find my Christmas spirit? Hahaha.

I was out of the house with a bounce in my step, and I stood across the gate waiting for a tricycle. There was this one moment when there were no cars on the street, no tricycles, no dogs, no people. It was unusual. And I realized that for that brief moment, the world was all about me. God was making me smile with the gift of silence and solitude. And smile I did.

The bus ride to work was a surprise in itself. Yeah, the traffic was terrible, especially by the bus stations in Cubao as people tried to rush home to their respective provinces. Yeah, that loud sound made when the side mirror of another bus broke against the frame of ours jolted me a bit. But the little gesture of the bus conductor thanking me for giving him exact change was unusual and unexpected, but deeply appreciated. I smiled again.

I continued exchanging text messages with Baby Nathan’s dad until I got to work. He half-jokingly wished I’d get the afternoon off from work so I could drop by. He told me to just send him a message so they could meet me in the area in case I got lost. I fished a bit, asking what they were having for Christmas dinner tonight. He shamefully answered that they didn’t have anything special to serve me. I laughed and assured him I’d try my best to drop by and take care of that. His last reply was that Baby Nathan said he’d wait for me to come. Haha, this guy knew how to make me smile.

So here I am, working on the eve of Christmas, but really, I think my day is already made. I sooooo want to go visit Baby Nathan and give them some of the Christmas spirit I’ve been being blessed with, and I’ll be trying my bestest.

I don't know exactly what endears me so much to Baby Nathan and his family, but they sort of remind me of the Nativity story of Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the Christmas family. For now, let me greet everyone a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. May the spirit of family, happiness and giving be with us all. Wow, was that me talking?! Maybe I'm not such a scrooge after all.

3 comments:

ruby said...

Merry Christmas! *hugs* :)

I'm really glad baby Nathan has been discharged from RITM! I wish I could give something to the family but I don't know how... Hope the new year will be a better year for them.

Please give my hug to Nathan! :)

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to you too..
I am an avid follower of your blog and every single entr of yours inspires me to do my best..I truly admire what you are doing...inspiring peoples' lives through this journal..I wish I could do the same..Again Merry Christmas to you and your family and may God always keep you in His blessings..

Alan M. of Cebu

BLACKPOOL said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIEND. IM ALL ALONE IN MY ROOM NOW WITH A 2 DEGREES TEMPERATURE OUTSIDE. FIRST TIME I SPENT CHRISTMAS ALONE BUT NOT REALLY ALONE WHEN I READ YOUR BLOG.

IM HAPPY TO HEAR ABOUT TANTAN I HOPE THEY ARE DOING GREAT.

GIVE MY LOVE AND REGARDS THE NEXT TIME YOU TEXT THE PAPI.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN.