Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Come Together

Come. I've done it. Maybe you have. Maybe you've done it with me. Admit it, it feels damn good.

Come on.
Come alone.
Come with me.
Come one. Come all.
Come. Just come.

Or better yet...
Come together.

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Disclosure... Sort Of

Okay, so maybe I’m not new to disclosure. The back of my head was featured on TV for GMA’s Think Positive documentary about HIV some years ago. And I was part of DepEd’s Power of You sexual health awareness campaign, disclosing my HIV-positive status to an audience of students and faculty, both in Subic and Cebu.

For some, those are amazing steps to take. But for me, I could inch a wee bit further.

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Friday, October 14, 2011

How Do You Live Positively?

Meditate.
Smile.
Laugh.
Love.

Living positively takes a myriad of forms, from the most profound to the simplest. How do you live positively?

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Monday, October 03, 2011

Living Positively

Inner peace is found from within.
Seek it not from without.

Do you live positively?

Show us how.
October 22 and 29, 2011

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Pulses

Simply a thesis? Maybe. Maybe not.

Dulaang Laboratoryo presents Pulses, a play produced and performed by a group of theater majors from the University of the Philippines in Diliman. But more importantly, it is said to be a play inspired by people living with HIV.

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Thursday, September 01, 2011

Princess' Touch

HIV does not make people dangerous to know...
So you can shake their hands...
And give them a hug...
Heaven knows they need it.

Princess Diana
July 01, 1961 - August 31, 1997

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

K-Pop ICAAP

We bid farewell yesterday to our Yogi Babe. She left us.

No, silly! Not for good!

She's flying off today for Korea to attend and represent Yoga for Life at this year's International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific, or ICAAP for short.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

No Of-Fence

This was on TV in the morning news today. HIV once again is the star. Oddly enough, this was not a health segment or anything close to that. It was really just meant to be bizarre news.

So HIV makes for bizarre news these days?

Well, see for yourself...

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Monday, August 01, 2011

Simply Complicated: Workout

Were we officially a couple? Are we officially a couple?

Okay, okay, hold your horses.

I hope to successfully zoom through what’s left of my little flashback that’s taken up more than a handful and a month’s worth of entries, and answer that question by the end of this post.

So... let’s continue.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Simply Complicated: Surprises

Am I ready to deal with all the competition?

Again, the too-cute category instantly invokes a fight or flee mode. And honestly, I would usually flee. I’m not a competitor. I was never raised to be. Inferiority complex, that’s me. But this time was different. I found myself with an unusual conviction. Go ahead... someday you’ll see we belong together. Wow. My confidence amazed even myself.

So I was sticking around for that “someday”.

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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Simply Complicated: Competition

CompetitionShould I die now? Of course not. OA lang ako.

So yeah, people were noticing the chemistry between us. They were seeing a lot of us as a package, arriving and leaving yoga a lot together. Sometimes, during dinners and get-togethers with friends, he would be my plus-one. And on more than a handful of times, I’ve been asked whether we’re a couple. I have to be honest of course and say that technically, we’re not.

But the path we were treading was far from perfect, or ideal for that matter.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Simply Complicated: Revelations

Did the relationship end before it even started?

Saturday was yoga day. Sadly, the boi was a Wednesday yogi. I man the Yoga for Life attendance files, contact numbers included. I was tempted to take advantage. So even after my rePUTAtion being broken, I swallowed my pride and texted the boi inviting him to Saturday yoga. I even offered that we go together. Time tick-tocked away as I waited anxiously for a reply.

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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Simply Complicated: Reputation

Were things going to get… complicated?

So the next time I saw him was the following Wednesday. Yoga for Life day again. No biggie, nothing unusual, I was just yogaing away. After the class, in one way or another, we found ourselves planning to head home together. I can already hear you saying HMMMMM.

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Saturday, July 09, 2011

Simply Complicated: Squeeze

I apoligize for being so quiet. Too quiet. I've been busy. With work. And with family. Okay, fine... and with my personal life. It's been a case of I-want-to-tell-you-all-about-it-but-I-don't-want-to-jinx-it. But right now, I'm afraid that I've been saving too many details in the memory card in my brain... so I decided I'd tell my story. Or start to. So allow me to backtrack... to when it all began.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

K Brosas for TTT

K Brosas on real beauty... for Take the Test.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Graduation Day

It’s Tuesday, the start of another workweek. It was a holiday yesterday. So after a long, cold, rainy weekend, it was going to be tough to get into work mode.

But today, I decided last minute… as in after taking a shower and dressing up… to make a detour onto the path of my past.

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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Alicia Mayer for TTT

Alicia Mayer on real beauty... for Take the Test.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Geneva Cruz for TTT

Geneva Cruz on real beauty... for Take the Test.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Sweet Break

May pasalubong ako sa iyo! Baket ka nagagalit sa akin? Nagpapakasweet na nga lang ako eh!

Him dropping the call was the most welcome thing for me. That was it. We didn’t talk nor text for the next two weeks.

Yep, I’m talking about the hubby. Do I seem harsh? Snapping at someone just because of a pasalubong? I think so too a bit, but here’s my story.

You don’t need to get me anything.

But I want to.

No, no need, there’s already too much food at home, but thank you.

So he goes on his trip and comes back. May pasalubong ako sa iyo! And I’m pissed.

Why? I’m a quiet guy. An introvert. I would usually rather keep things to myself. So those few times I speak up, I would appreciate if you'd listen.

And I repeated myself.
No need, thank you.

But I want to.

Fine, bahala ka.

Baket ka nagagalit sa akin?
Nagpapakasweet na nga lang ako eh!
Sige na nga, matulog ka na!


Call dropped.

I felt offended. Not by the dropped call. But by the insinuation that material things equal sweetness. No. I’m not that kind of a guy, sorry.

Sweet is listening to what little I have to say.

Sweet is calling not just to say you love me... ask how my day went!

Sweet is not stopping me from putting my arm around you in public.

Sweet is not just saying you want to hug me whenever we meet. Do it.

Sweet is accepting my invitations to share my yoga time with me.

Sweet is not a “Masaya ka na?” after meeting my BFF the first time.

There, that’s why I snapped. Sweet?! These were things I had been letting pass. I was patiently letting him have his way. And this, this seemed like the last straw.

I’m sorry. I’m the farthest thing from a closet case. Fine, I’ve declared I’m Back In The Closet with this HIV thing, but even with that, I haven’t let the closet doors stop me from living. Not at this point where I’ve gotten a wake up call to treasure life more, and be thankful for every moment I get to live, laugh and love.

I was soon asking myself, why was I so bitchy? Why was I nitpicking? Why did I snap at him? It was becoming clear what the underlying issue was... I was falling out of love.

Some of you will think that I’m letting go of a perfectly good thing, knowing that an HIV-negative guy accepted me for who I am and what I had. But that’s not the end all and be all of it all.

He will not be the last person who will accept me despite my HIV-positive status. Call me much hopeful, but I guarantee that. Like I always say, if you don’t like me just because I’m HIV-positive, then you’re not worth my time anyways.

So there. Pending one final conversation... closure to be exact... this BITCH is officially single.

So, sweet ba kamo? Break.

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Monday, June 06, 2011

"Functionally Cured" of HIV

Since HIV was discovered 30 years ago this week, 30 million people have died from the disease, and it continues to spread at the rate of 7,000 people per day globally, the UN says.

There's not much good news when it comes to this devastating virus. But that is perhaps why the story of the man scientists call the "Berlin patient" is so remarkable and has generated so much excitement among the HIV advocacy community.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

YFL Hits the Inquirer

MAROON 5 VOCALIST Adam Levine recently revealed his obsession over yoga, how it helped solve his flexibility issues and how it sculpted his body. For a group here in Manila, yoga means more than just a workout. To them it is a community whose common advocacy focuses on helping people with HIV.

Read on as Yoga for Life is featured by Emman Cena in the Philippine Daily Inquirer article "Yoga for people living with HIV". :-)

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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Yoga for Life Touched Lives

Around two months of preparation is finally over. Last weekend, we held Yoga for Life's first major major event for the International AIDS Candlelight Memorial. Most of what I did was in preparing print materials like banners, teasers, flyers, etc... my fault for getting my proposed design approved, and thus getting assigned to cascade it as well. Hehe. But it was fulfilling for a frustrated designer as myself. Oh, money matters too... till now, a week after the event, I have the tail end of the accounting to deal with. MS Excel mode, on! All in all, it was a fun event, with the support of the community taking most of the feeling of work out of it. A true group effort, making it feel, for me, like it was a huge success. :-)

Participants gather for the Candlelit Memorial

The Yoga for Life community took the traditional candle lighting ceremony a step further by making an impact in the way it knows best—through yoga. Co-founders of the Filipino branch, Charmaine Cu-Unjieng and Paulo Leonido, were joined by the country’s top yoga instructors in leading the community through yoga poses, breathing techniques, and guided meditation, thus demonstrating how the discipline and kinship of yoga can help those affected by HIV. More importantly, however, the event, which took place amidst the ordinary buzz of Makati traffic, united the community’s energies towards igniting the flames of HIV awareness in the general public.

Participants engage in yoga practice led by the country's best instructors... I'm actually in this picture... SPOT ME?! Hehe.

As people passed by on the street, some staring, some joining the gathering crowd of spectators, acclaimed yoga instructors Roland dela Cruz, Jeannie Javelosa, Tesa Celdran, Marilen Elizalde, Marc Carlos, Lex Bonife, and Rebecca de Villa each led the participants through a brief series of postures. The yoga practice was followed by a candlelit “kirtan”, an ancient call-and-response chanting experience that originated in India and involves chanting hymns or mantras accompanied by musical instruments. The kirtan called upon sacred energies which served to quiet the mind, remove obstacles, and bring the participants back to the center of their being—while also commemorating the lives of those who have died, and allowing spectators to recognize how precious and powerful their own lives are.

The event also celebrated Yoga for Life’s official launch as a non-profit organization. Yoga for Life began in June 2010, and is the Philippines’ first community-based yoga program for persons living with HIV, as well as others who support them and the cause and want to experience the beauty of yoga. To date, the community has grown to over 300 members, as YFL continues to reach more people and build a community of advocates who, through yoga, share their energies towards living positively and living well.

Participants in the yoga practice model their warrior pose

This particular event, the 28th annual International Candlelight Memorial (the longest running grassroots movement around HIV and AIDS), also marked the first time YFL has joined the global cause and the tens of thousands of people from 83 different countries who participated in similar memorials. While the Candlelight Memorial was originally started to commemorate the lives lost to HIV/AIDS, Yoga for Life chose to expand the mission, praising the lives of those who continue to triumph in spite of the virus, and celebrating the HIV advocate in everyone.

Charmaine Cu-Unjieng, co-founder of Yoga for Life, joins others in singing the kirtan, an ancient call-and-response chanting experience

The memorial coincidentally occurred in the same week as a groundbreaking new discovery relating to HIV treatment. Results announced on May 12 by the United States National Institutes of Health show that if an HIV-positive person adheres to an effective antiretroviral therapy regimen, the risk of transmitting the virus to their uninfected sexual partner can be reduced by 96%. This discovery will seriously change the way HIV is treated, and hopefully have a huge impact on the so-called “prevention revolution”. At a time when the number of HIV cases in the Philippines, once noted for its remarkably low rates of HIV, is rising steadily—the results from March 2011 marked a 43% increase compared to the same period last year—any HIV advocacy, such as that encouraged by Yoga for Life, is of great importance to the country.

Participants engage in the kirtan

If you are interested in joining Yoga for Life or want to help their mission, visit www.yogaforlife.ph.

Yoga for Life offers classes twice a week for those living with HIV and/or those affected by HIV in some way. Classes include breathing techniques, postures, and guided meditation meant to address the fear and stress of HIV, as well as the stresses of everyday life:

Wednesdays at 7pm: 28th Floor Conference Room, Medical Plaza Ortigas Building, 25 San Miguel Ave, Ortigas Center, Pasig City

Saturdays at 2pm: Century Plaza Penthouse, 120 Perea Street, Legaspi Village, Makati City

Photos courtesy of Yoga for Life

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Friday, April 29, 2011

Touching Lives Thru Yoga

On Sunday, 15 May 2011, the Yoga for Life community will come together to join the world in commemorating the 28th International AIDS Candlelight Memorial at the Glorietta 3 Park in Ayala Center, Makati. Entitled Yoga for Life: Touching Lives, it will be an afternoon that will gather yoga enthusiasts and HIV advocates alike in a candlelit sunset ceremony honoring the lives of people affected by HIV and AIDS.

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Monday, April 25, 2011

Intercourse of the Church

The issue of the Reproductive Health Bill or RH Bill has been heating up again. What with President Noynoy Aquino seemingly back to support the RH Bill again, and as expected the Catholic church not backing down from opposing it. Oi, who would ever have thought that Reproductive Health would be of a priestly concern? For me, it would be like me promoting sex with a female... irrelevant... disjunct... does not compute. But well, things happen. So the church and the RH Bill have headlined Yahoo! news today... not just once, but twice!

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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sexidents - Toilet

It wasn’t planned. I couldn’t get out of it. He started it.

This hilariously sarcastic ad campaign created by Grey Worldwide for the MTV Networks says it best with its Sexidents series.

Sex is no accident. Always use a condom.

This particular one is entitled Toilet.

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Monday, April 18, 2011

Noynoy Risks Ire on RH Bill

President Benigno Aquino III pledged on Sunday to push for the passage of a reproductive health bill in Congress as a tool to fight poverty even at the risk of excommunication from the Roman Catholic Church.

Efforts to enact a law that would promote access to sex education and contraception have been blocked since the 1990s by powerful Roman Catholic bishops. Around 80 percent of the country's 94 million people are Catholic.

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