Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bus Buddy

Bus BuddyAn ordinary weekday morning. I hopped on a bus on my way to work, all seats were taken. I stood in the aisle. I took a seat that became available at the rearmost of the bus. I was followed by others who had just gotten on.

And then, of course, as buses are somehow the root of some worldly desires for me, it got weird.

A guy took one of the other seats in the six-man row I was in. My peripheral vision was teasing me. Was he looking at me? I’m oddly visually challenged. I’m far-sighted. So I can’t really scout out guys who are seated too near. Or I just don’t really want to seem too obvious. Hmm.

As people got off along the way, I was able to transfer to the two-seater just ahead. I still felt like I was being watched. It was just him left in the row behind me. He was oddly leaning forward foregoing comfort for something else. But a lady was seated across from me, which may have been stopping him from making a move. Or I was just being too presumptuous.

We had reached Shaw Boulevard, and I felt him gathering his things. He slid over to the aisle. I felt his hand on my headrest. I heard a piece of paper. Then a couple of taps. I was intrigued but remained unobvious, both to him and the lady seated across. He got up and headed up front to get off. I tried looking out the window to see if he’d give one last glance, but didn’t spot him.

So what was that? Was he indeed trying to show interest? I remembered the sound of paper I heard. I ran my hand up the headrest and took a piece of paper slipped into it. It was a bus ticket. Today’s date, the fare, the origin and the destination. At the back, a name and mobile number was scribbled.

I had all the options in the world. I could have thrown it away. But then, of course, I’m a pleaser. I had a chance to make someone happy. How could I just ignore the guy? A guy who did not shove my face into his crotch on the first bus ride for a change? So yes… I sent a text message to the number.

And then the exchange began. He was relieved that I noticed the little message he left in the bus. Naman! I’m not that dense. With that, we became text mates. We’d text daily, at least mere good mornings or what not. This went on for a number of weeks. Maybe a month.

One Saturday morning, I was on my usual mall routine with my mom. At the hardware section, while looking at rechargeable lamps, my eyes caught a glimpse of someone. A guy. Tall, dark and neat, built with a little bit extra. We just stared at each other, short of saying “You look familiar,” “Where do I know you from,” and “Is that you?“ It was him. We didn’t talk or anything. We just texted.

At some point during that text conversations, I realized how ridiculous it was for us to be relying on chance to see one another. So I suggested that we plan out the next time we’d bump into each other. He agreed.

August crept in. And upon establishing the common point of our respective daily commutes, we agreed to meet and share rush hours. I arrived at the bus stop first, he came in a bit. Must’ve been funny seeing two grown men who couldn’t wipe the smiles off their faces.

We hailed a bus that would run our common route. We took seats beside each other. Sometime during the trip, he took my hand and held it the rest of the way, not even minding if other people would see. Cool. It was really nice having a hand to hold through traffic. There was a movie playing on the bus, too. Vic Sotto and Rosanna Roces. Basta Ikaw, Nanginginig Pa. Oy, is this a sign from the heavens? Not really. We were really without the kilig of it all because we were giggling at how ridiculous the movie was. He tapped my leg before getting off at his stop.

The next day, same thing. We rode together. Same bus line. No Pinoy movie this time, which we giggled about again. Again he had my hand firmly in his. Rush hour again. Traffic again. He got to his stop again, and tapped my leg. As he stood up he looked at me, sort of waiting for me to say something or wanting to say something himself. I’m sure I had a confused look on my face. He leaned in and gave me a smack on the lips. And then he turned and trudged to the front of the bus to get off, not even looking back.

Wait... what just happened? But no more confusion, I had a smirk on my face by this time.

I got a text message from him shortly.
     “Ikaw rin. Hmp nanggugulat ka. Hahaha.”
“Hahaha… Nakuha ko ba sa bilis?”
     “Oo. Kung Pinoy movie yun, dapat sasampalin pa kita. Hahaha.”
“Hehehe… Sige di na nga maulit.”
     “Oo. Di na mauulit na magugulat ako.”
“Hahaha… So laging ready ka na?”
     “O baka ikaw na magulat. Sige. Ingat ka ha.”

The next day, same thing. Without the movie. And without the smack. He didn’t even hold my hand. I felt he was teasing me. So I took initiative and grabbed his hand. Hmp, akala mo makakatakas ka ha. So there. We were officially bus buddies, and this was our daily routine. I felt like I had a date every single day. I did, sort of.

Okay, fine, we haven’t always been that patweetums. I think there’ve been three occasions that he holds my hand and leads it towards his crotch for me to feel his erection through his slacks. But that’s the farthest we’ve gone. Nope, he still hasn’t shoved my face into his pubes. But he’s managed to keep me curious as to what’s down there. Wholesome, but naughty.

As of this writing we’re still on it... our daily date. I think in almost a month, we’ve missed just three or four days, but I liked how the days we missed together aren’t a big deal. Because on days we were together, the least we’d be is just napping in the bus holding hands. Nice.

Basically, we're barely past being acquiantances. I don't know his surname. Not even his real name. I don't know what he does, nor does he know what I do. And no, I haven't told him the virally significant secret that I hide. Not like he'll catch anything by holding my hand.

So there, now you know my bus buddy. We’re not a couple. No commitment. No I-love-yous. Just something comfortable. And major-major safe. A huge ego boost, for me, at least. Nice. Really nice. And naughty too sometimes.

Isn’t life great? And aren’t buses too?


AJ said...

Kinilig naman ako ng sobra. Sana ako rin magka-bus buddy. Only problem is, I just walk to work. lol

Tristan Tan said...

Kinilig ako dito, 'teh. Good job! Hehe

engel said...

i don't know why, but this post made me happy.

you have a BuBu. :)

Anonymous said...

I will encourage you to be in that relationship. You are loved. You have loved. You are not into homosexual acts. If you can maintain that healthy gay relationship with your bus buddy, I will campaign for the cause of your beatification after your death. It's healthy and good to love without sex in mind.

Scott said...

love or friendship sometimes comes from the most unusual of places, and I think that what makes it romantic!

PinoyPoz said...

@AJ: Grab a bus now now now! Round trip ka lang! Hehehe.

@Tristan: Yes! Approval from the guru?! Hehehe.

@Engel: Bubu! Me likey!

@Anonymous: Beatification after death is a bit much. And may I correct you, sex will always be on my mind. Hahaha!

@Scott: Cheesy!!!

positHIVe said...

nice blog, it's really helpful for us newbie's in the positive world. if theres a "like" button i would had clicked it. hehehe :)

Anonymous said...

"It was really nice having a hand to hold through traffic."



Anonymous said...

buses are great!!!

definitely great! hahaha


robbie said...

i enjoyed reading it. and as i was reading your post, i was trying to imagine i was u with that bus buddy.
hope it could happen to me too.
from now on... il commute going to the office... tipid na... possible bus buddy pa might be there... :)

P said...

oh. i wish i have someone like that. hmmmm... maybe its time to ride the bus. hahahaha. =)

Ubermensch said...

This got me into thinking of taking buses.

nice one. erotica but not quite. or its just me whose green =D

guten tag,

Kane said...


Binalikan ko itong story mo. This is one of my favorite story of yours. Ang ganda; nakakatuwa. It's one of those magical strange encounters we have with other people that fascinates me.

Pero naloka ako sa comment na:

"I will campaign for the cause of your beatification after your death. It's healthy and good to love without sex in mind."

Talagang beatification??? Hahahaha

I think he may change his mind after reading your latest post. =)


PinoyPoz said...

@PositHIVe: Go out and date! Go, go, go! :-)

@Cali: Cheesy mo ha... Toink!

@Geek: Sounds like you've had some bus adventures yourself ha...

@Robbie, P, Ubermensch: Go! Love the bus! Share a seat, win a friend! Hehehe.

@Kane: It was an UBER mistake to assume I didn't have sex in my mind kasi. Sex sex sex... love et!

Anonymous said...

afraid ako, baka boyfriend ko yung bus buddy mo!
but if you having fun, continue, who am i to hamper your happiness

PinoyPoz said...

why do you say that it might be your boyfriend, anonymous?