Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Missions Accomplished

It’s been another busy weekend. A long weekend, but a busy one.

May 3rd is a holiday here, a resched of labor day. But like a three-day weekend wasn’t enough, I decided to take the day off from work Friday.

So it was a really long weekend. A really long weekend, but a busy one. Missions abound.

E was planning to go to the RITM April birthday bash, and bugged me to go as well. You see, he doesn’t go to gatherings like this much. And if he’s like me by virtue of being my friend, having a comfort zone of familiar faces there makes it much easier. I was to be one of those familiar faces, I assume.

So three birds with one stone. Socialize, of course. Possibly considering have this nagging cough of mine checked up. And was also going to leave with Ate the stash of Neurobion and Celecoxib meds for the pusit who needed help. Thanks Myke and Moi!

I got a haircut, took the MRT to Ayala Station, and with my share of the potluck, Malabon’s pride sapin-sapin, took a bus to Alabang. I successfully bypassed having to wait in line for a minivan to RITM, only to realize I wasn’t late after all.

Walking into the back office, I didn’t recognize anyone of the handful already there. I sat down to cool off, and texted PositiveEqualsRebirth. I hadn’t met him yet, but have been chatting with him for some time now, and he said he was planning to go. Soon the door opened, one of my “kids” walked in, RedAppleBlackMark, practically screaming my name.

Embarrassing as that was, good enough as well. It turned out that PositiveEqualsRebirth had apparently been in the room the whole time, and upon recognizing my name, stepped up to introduce himself and his partner who was with him. Finally we’d met. And because, as evident in our online chats, we do share some wavelength, this should be a first of many.

In a while, more familiar faces arrived. Fellow positive bloggers E, LuckyTrese and ImNotDyingImLiving, another of my kids, Little Jenny a.k.a. Jeje, Papi with his friend, and several others I knew. So really, I did have a comfort zone there, and I believe I was less of a wallflower this time. I think… you tell me.

The food was fine: chicharon, pansit, donuts, and a huge cake. The ambience would’ve been okay, if not for one older pusit whose stories of choice dealt with who AIDS killed, who died when, what the person died of, who died next, who’s next in line, etcetera. Who is this a-hole anyway? And he actually claimed to be part of a support group?! Supporting what? Did his support group not teach him that no one dies of AIDS per se?

It would’ve been considerate of him to note that there were relative newbies in the bunch. And yes, we needed to do damage control after. Thanks a lot. Nakikain ka na nga lang, nang-nega ka pa?! I would’ve rather he shut up and started digging his own grave. Agh.

By mid afternoon, the group thinned and it was time to go. I hitched a ride going north, braved an odd summer storm and got stuck in horrendous traffic. Fortunately, we got “forced” by the weather to have dinner as a group, with BFF catching up with us, and having a bit of coffee as a nightcap. Not a bad way to end a long day.

The next day was not to be less “positive”. E invited us over to his place. Oh, no. More like he badgered us. He had been counseling a newbie for some days now, someone still waiting for his HIV test results, but was already sulking in paranoia and being haunted by suicidal tendencies. And E needed reinforcements, lest he get fed up and give the kid a list of ways to take his own life. Yes, patience is not one of E’s strong points. Hehehe.

So O, BFF and I headed there for lunch, picking up newbie and his friend along the way. My eldest “kid” was there too, as well as LuckyTrese. A second batch even arrived after we finished lunch.

So from the trip throughout lunch, we were really showing newbie that life will and does go on. He and his friend were actually in the medical field, but it was a classic case of knowing too much but lacking real world experience and not understanding it all, leaving them just paranoid and negative. So they fielded as much questions as they could, and later on I noticed that they were both lightening up, even immersing themselves in the okray mood of our little group.

From there, we left E around mid-afternoon. I was going to Shang. I had a date… a date with a friend and fellow advocate, so yes, he did know about my status. And BFF, newbie and his friend decided to stalk us. Argh. There wasn’t much to stalk. We weren’t planning on getting busy… just going to hang out over some coffee and stuff. After a couple of hours chatting, my date needed to go and rest after starting his day early, aside from a lack of sleep. Cool with me.

He brought me to the MRT station, where we hugged and headed our separate ways. Shortly, I learned BFF was still in the area with the kids, so I ambushed them at another coffee place. They of course didn’t let me pass without ribbing me about my date… about not being able to wipe the smile off my face and about having an afterglow. Wahaha! Toink!

But seriously, I think it helped newbie boy to see that, yes, we can still have a dating life, even with negatives! During that hour more of us hanging out, it was clear that he was in a more positive mood. And he knew that whatever happens, he wouldn’t need to go through it alone. He had us.

From there, we headed off into the night, BFF and I together. And because BFF and I always have the most perfect dates together, we did not call it a night. We did some catching up and evaluated the weekend together over some dinner first, and then headed home.

Sunday was spent just home, for a change. I was really dead tired already from the past two days, but it was all worth it. A good end to April, and a great start to May. And it wasn’t even all fun and games. Missions accomplished.


Trese said...

NAMAN! It was a great weekend for everyone. Aha may after glow ka!? Happy Pepe! :p

I met up with Anton of Cebu (blogger) last Friday. Forgot to tell you.

So... this weekend... where where where to go mameeee?

Anonymous said...

it was indeed a happy friday and saturday :-) I hope to see you guys again soon :-) --chronicles of e