Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


image from www.hivplusmag.comI’ve kept quiet about it long enough. But I can only take so much nonsense. Go ahead. Call me seditious. Call me an atheist. Call me whatever you frickin' want. May lightning even strike me right now, just based on the thoughts running through my head.

A bit O.A.? Okay, just let me say my piece.

The Catholic Church has been at it again. Pope Benedict, on a visit to Africa, boldly says that encouraging the use of condoms aggravates the problem of HIV and AIDS, rather than helping contain the virus. WTF?!

And I said "again", because I’d already heard something to that effect last year, from our very own Catholic Church here in the Philippines. In articles on the website of the Catholic Bishop’s Conference of the Philippines or CBCP entitled CBCP Hasn’t OK’d Condom Use for HIV/AIDS Patients and Church: Condoms Don’t Stop AIDS, Fr. Melvin Castro says there is no directive from the Vatican that married couples infected with HIV and those with AIDS can use condoms. He also goes on to say that the claim that condoms can reduce the number of HIV-infected persons is a "myth".

Whoa?! No one ever said that condom use is a cure to HIV. It will not reduce the number of HIV-infected persons. What it can reduce is the number of HIV-infections. What’s that supposed to be? A play of words? Hmm.

The CBCP follows up with statements backing claims that condoms are permeable. And when the DOH says those claims are untrue, Fr. Castro once again speaks up saying "They are wrong about that... this is an easily recognizable fact". An easily recognizable fact?! An easily recognizable fact just like immaculate conceptions, walking on water, and turning water into wine?! Okay, I know, that was below the belt, but shouldn’t we all be wary of making sweeping statements? Hmm.

I’m just absolutely dumbfounded at how the Catholic Church can make statements such as these. What’s the real issue with condoms anyway? What do these prophets have against prophylactics? Is it some tool of the devil? Hmm.

They probably think it encourages sex outside the context of marriage and all that immoral stuff. But how come even married couples aren’t allowed to use condoms to keep the uninfected partner safe? Hmm.

Oh yeah, they probably think it breaks the link between sex and procreation. So does this mean that they are willing to sacrifice their followers’ health and well-being just for the sake of procreation? Hmm.

But then, two guys fucking can only bring themselves as far as pagdadalang-tae. So as far as I’m concerned, I’ve never been in any sexual act that could result in any procreation whatsoever. Geesh, we’re still not allowed to use condoms? Hmm.

Of course, that just brings us to the subject of homosexuality being a sin. Yeah, right. Why doesn’t that ever ring a bell whenever the priest at my local parish ogles and flirts at me whenever he’s not in church or wearing his habit? Hmm.

The Pope and the CBCP then both agree that marital fidelity and sexual abstinence are the only failsafe ways of preventing the spread of HIV and AIDS. Clap, clap, clap. One question though... Is this the same fidelity and abstinence that some men of the cloth themselves forget about, causing them to father kids, make sexual advances, abuse women, and molest children? Hmm.

So at this point, I still don’t understand why the Catholic Church is so against condom use, and reproductive health in general. I’m completely aware that I’m walking the fine line between righteousness and blasphemy... but only in the same way that the Catholic Church walks the fine line between spirituality and self-righteousness.

So I say, go ahead. May he who is without sin cast the first stone.


wanderingcommuter said...

i love the way you end this post.

i must agree on this. i am not religious as well. i find the institutionalized faith, misinterpreted and even dogmatic.

i just hope that church would be open-minded

The Green Man said...

I don't believe this? And I thought before they actually get their positions in the Church... they go through a series of education... WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?

I am always hoping to put more love, hope and faith in this world to make it a better place to live in. It's sad to find out that the people who I hope to work with me is the one working directly against me.

Haaay... I hope this blog entry and comment finds it way to the doors of the Catholic church... to present as a head's up for all of them.

Anonymous said...

Unless the catholic church evolve with civilization and get its teachings in-sync with society's ever changing dynamics, it will be its own worst enemy.
. . . And then there is the Charity of Mother Theresa that has taken cared of people with AIDS, for years. The teachings of Jesus in "action", compasionate and loving.
Give me the Church of Mother Theresa anytime, over the catholic church that esposes hate and destruction.

Gram Math said...

i used to be a catholic, i just cant stand the principles of this church. i think following the road to heaven is easier than this church

PinoyPoz said...

Lord, according to this Catholic Church, I am not worthy to receive you. But only say the word that will expose these self-righteous SOBs, and I shall be happy, and the world will be healed. Amen.

danyhael said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I have stopped going to church since i learned that the pope said that...

Anonymous said...

why stop going to church? the church is a community. it's not about a single person who is a pope or a priest. ask yourself this, if in your barkada you come to hate one single person, will you leave the group? likewise, would it be fair to ask the rest of the barkada to shun that person and side with you?

PinoyPoz said...

thanks for your insight, anonymous.

but why don't you ask the pope, the self-righteous priests and the Catholic Church that same question? aren't they the ones who express discrimination, and ask the rest of their "barkada" to side with them and look down upon and judge others who do not live up to what they think are the teachings of God? where's the "community" in that?

sorry, my faith is not confined to the act of "going" to church.

apple said...

i grew up in the church. i'm a Sunday mass goer, i attended different church activities, etc. and yeah. there really are many absurdity within it. you're right. i don't care whether some of you think that the Pope, priests, or anyone in the congregation is wrong in saying those things in the certain topic, but what matters now for me, is ones FAITH to the Lord. please.. i beg you anonymous and the others.. go.. attend mass. live with God.. with full faith to Him. it's only Him who matters. i encourage you to still live as a Christian. Attending mass is the highest worship. And its written on the Holy Bible. Said by God.

madaming mali ang SIMBAHAN. pero hindi ang DIYOS. wag sanang mawala yung pananampalataya natin sa kanya.

wala akong HIV. hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ng meron nun. tulad nyo, hindi rin ako sang ayon sa ilang mga tinuturo ng simbahan.. kaya nga nabubuhay ako ng hindi sinusunod lahat ng sinasabi nila. pero nalulungkot ako pag nalalaman kong may isang taong nawawala ang pananampalataya sa DIYOS ng dahil sa mga tao sa likod ng makakapal na pader ng simbahan..

all i can do is to pray for them. sabi ko nga, its not the church that matters. its the Lord. please trust Him. Please.

PinoyPoz said...

Well said, Apple, well said.

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