Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Opposites Attract

Yin & YangOkay, before you think this is anything about sex or dating, stop. No malice, no hard-ons, no orgasms. This is way better!!!

I had taken a leave from work, because November 4th was a big day. Huge! We attended our first meeting yesterday with the rest of the Positivism team in Makati. These were the negative people who were, uhm, thinking positive. These are the people who have been furthering our cause. It was bound to be a wonderful day.

It was E, our resident counselor and I, who represented the poz side of the team. On the ride to their office, at first we were being told by our big boss not to feel awkward around the other people there. I had sedated the loner in me a bit since the night before, and was instead concerned that they would feel awkward around us. There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?

So we trekked into the office, and sat ourselves down around the conference table. It was quiet, other than the three of us who were chatting the wait away. Okay, it wasn’t quiet-boring, but rather quiet-tranquil. It was comfortable.

It wasn’t long before the observer in me got into gear. Looking around, all I saw were a bunch of guys and gals, faces buried into their computers, all hard at work. I glanced at a board of what seemed to be a rundown of tasks of each person, and man, was it a work load. Noticeably though, the Positivism project wasn’t even on the board, so these people would be working on Positivism in addition to their usual tasks. Amazing.

Shortly after, our big boss came around and called everyone on the team to take a seat at the table. One after the other, seat after seat was taken, and additional chairs even had to be rolled up to the table. At the end of it all, only two people were left at their workstations. I was stunned. All these people are working on this project?! Speechless.

So the meeting ensued, and the ice was broken by our resident counselor, who shared a smidget of her long life living with HIV. Everyone was listening intently, but weren’t exactly wide-eyed or open-mouthed. They understood. I think it just put everyone into the proper perspective as to why this cause was so important. Trust me, tears were shed.

At the end of it all, it was their turn to churn out the ideas they had for the project. And churn out they did. They pitched to us a presentation to promote Positivism, just to see if we had any more input. We were supposed to be the experts on the subject, of course. It must’ve been like designing a terno for Imelda Marcos. Nerve-wracking for them.

But... to say that we approved was an understatement. It was like they knew exactly what we were fighting for, like they knew exactly how we were feeling, like they were reading our minds, like they were taking the words like out of our mouths... and that's a good thing. And taking words out of our mouths isn’t exactly an easy thing to do, mind you.

It was all absolutely amazing. I even reached the point of thinking the only explanation for their knowing us too well was... gasp... they were all HIV positive as well! Okay, so much for my powers of logic. They just really understood the advocacy. Pardon my moments of craziness. Hahaha.

Who knew I’d ever meet anyone who was HIV positive, let alone be one? And who knew I’d end up working so closely and comfortably with others who weren’t? Heaven knows.

So to sum the day up, it was us positives, working with negatives – and working well together at that. We’ve proved that over and above being HIV positive or negative, we are no different. We are all human. And that’s living the exact essence of Positivism.

See, in humans, just like magnets, opposite poles can and do attract... and not to mention bash heads well together. Positivism is green and go!


Lance said...

I totally agree.. Health, wealth or even race should not be the basis of how can a 'team' perform and or how each other can get along with one another..

E said...

hi BITCH! it was quite a meeting huh? hehehehe too bad we didn't get a muffin hahahaha!

POSITIVISM rocks! This will be a great project!

FYI, I'd like to warn you to be careful of a certain eye doctor from laguna..he is bald, ugly, effem and creepy..he looks like smeagol/gollum (LFTR)..he/she/it reads your blog too and he/she/it tends to stalk people so be careful! Well, on the other hand you can get a free fake eye glasses from it/he/she hahahaha

Lance said...

i've been reading your archieves and it seems pretty interesting..
one question though..
if you are already a pozzie (i assume it's a shortcut for an HIV positive person) and you had sex with another pozzie, will it actually worsen both your illness or it would have no effect at all, basically because both of you are already infected?
this is a kind inquiry to which I am hoping I could get an informative answer.. thanks much!

PinoyPoz said...

@ LANCE: The first thing to remember is that HIV has more than one strain, more than one type and more than one subtype. Thus it is completely possible to be "super"infected. Second, it's not just HIV that you, or we, can catch. There are all the rest of the Sexually Transmitted Diseases that can all be problems. :-)

PinoyPoz said...

Hay naku E, don't stress yourself out. Wrinkles, wrinkles. Nakakababa rin yan ng CD4... Hehehe.

E said...

no, I'm just warning other bloggers para hindi na mang-biktima si smeagol/golum/arbee este...ooopps! hahahahaha!

Hey Lance! watch out for the launching of will get more infos about that kind of stuff!

PinoyPoz said...

ok, mr. e, i'll crown you the B.I.T.C.H., but only for tonight!!! i'll need it back tomorrow...

Lance said...

Thanks for the info. I am not a pozzie and so I don't have any idea about it but I really wanted to know just because i was curious and it's also for my awareness.. thank you poh...
k, you can update me on your POSITIVISM project..i would be glad to check you guys out every now and then...

PinoyPoz said...

My pleasure, Lance. I admire your interest and concern for your awareness. Please do keep posted for more on Positivism. Help us spread the news :-) Thanks! Ingat din!