Last weekend was a long weekend. I went to work Friday, but I didn't work. Huh?
Well, let me clarify. It was our company outing. Hmm. I know, a bit odd that it happened just as the rainy season stepped in, but hey, who's not up for some fun, right? So I woke up early Friday morning to make the meeting time of 6:00 am. I know, 6:00 am is aghhh. But I made it with time to spare. After a few delays, we were on our way. Are we there yet?
By around noon, we got to the place. A huge house with a pool, nestled in a quiet neighborhood in Batangas. It was three days of a lot of things.
A lot of food. There was a yummy spaghetti with uber crispy fried chicken. There was sinigang. There was a milieu of comfort breakfasts from hotdogs and fried eggs, to crunchy boneless bangus. And so much more. And mind you, some of these meals, our big boss cooked himself!
A lot of fun. There was a videoke for a while. All the vices available... I had a few drinks, not enough to get me drunk, and some drugs too, a.k.a. ARVs... hehehe. Games in the pool, from Doctor-Quack-Quack to Shout-A-Word-Underwater-And-Have-Us-Guess-What-You-Said. And of course, there was Taboo. Conveying a word to other people is hard enough for the socially- and communicably-challenged as myself. Add to that some words that you're prohibited to say? Agh, pure torture.
A lot of sleep, especially for me. My bodyclock would still wake me up at around 6:00 am, but I'd just go to the bathroom and head back to bed and sleep another couple of hours. I will also be the first to admit that I do NOT need a tan, so I made a habit out of sleeping through the sun, and coming out to swim only at night or when the sun had set. Teehee.
A lot of being one of the boys. I got bunked in the huge attic with all of the straight guys! You'd think it was heaven for me, but it's not like I was planning to grope them all, ya know. And like like-poles, each of us sort of repelled each other into our own little alcoves scattered around the vast space. Funny, really, but all of us were comfortable that way. Hehehe.
But by the third day, I sort of felt it was too much of a lot. Three days of isolation... I'm talking no TV, no internet, no mobile phone signal, even... it was driving me mad! I was happy, not bitin at all, and I found myself welcoming the time to go home.
Got home Sunday evening, hell tired, despite all of the sleep and relaxation I claimed to have had. But not much time to rest. Another Monday to start another work week loomed.
It was to be a normal work week, jumpstart-worthy, but normal nonetheless. Until... one of my colleagues at work confirmed a couple of red bumps he had on his chest to be... shingles.
Shingles. It's the nickname to herpes zoster. It's related to the varicella virus, which also causes chickenpox. If I'm not mistaken, this is how it goes: Basically and commonly, a person only gets chicken pox once in his or her life. I got it back when I was in grade 4, I think. Even if you've gotten it and recovered from it, the virus remains in your body. And it is a recurrence of this virus that causes shingles. So it's like only persons who have had chicken pox can get the shingles.
I don't know about you, but I think when the common person hears "herpes", he'd usually think it's one of the Sexually Transmitted Infections or STIs. Partly true, because a close relative of the shingles would be herpes simplex, under which falls genital herpes.
Okay, for the record, I've had herpes. What kind? The shingles as well.
I think it was back in 2007. I developed a rash around my midsection. Fortunately, my boyfriend at the time was in the medical field, and it didn't take him long to figure out it was the shingles. I remember he prescribed some medicines for me, and that was it. It wasn't too hard for me, nor was I worried. Mostly, I wasn't worried because he showed me he wasn't worried. We were still sleeping together on the weekends, and he'd apply some ointment on the rash as it crusted up and healed. No big deal. I don't even think my mom was concerned or was even aware that I had it. No harm done and no marks left.
So now, even after spending a day with my colleague who got the shingles, I wasn't worried. Even if we were swimming in the same water the whole weekend, I was okay. Even if he is actually my seatmate here at work, it wasn't a big deal. I'm sort of in the mentality that if I catch it, then fine.
Of course it doesn't help that I'm not able to instantly feel any itching around my midsection because of the burn in the abs that I'm left with after yoga. Hehe. But I'll be fine. When in contrast one of my other officemates broke down in tears worrying that she might have caught it.
So there. Actually, reasearch tells me shingles often hits people who are in their 50s. Otherwise, one's immune system is usually able to keep it at bay. But the immunocompromised? Watch out. I know a couple of my pozzie friends whove gone through shingles as well, some of theirs even coinciding with the time of finding out they were HIV-positive and immunocompromised.
Well, of course, right now - the immunocompromised thing - that's possibly me. But back in 2007? Hmm. That sort of brings the thought that I just may have been immunocompromised already back then. Remember, I only found out I was HIV-positive in April of 2008. So I wonder, could I have been HIV-positive already way back in 2007? Heaven knows.
So there. Right now, my colleague is on leave recovering from his shingles. My other officemate got herself checked up, and is relieved to know she doesn't have it. And me? Life goes on. Shtatus? No shingles.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Shtatus: Shingles
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Burn
My body’s been aching a bit these past few days. Hot. Burning hot. Why?
A room full of people. People grunting. People moving. I found myself surrounded by lots of hot sweaty bodies, with just a thin rubber mat separating me from the cold marble floor. I was in motion, with a single voice telling me what position to take, to tighten up, to relax, to breathe hard. From being on my back with my legs reaching for the sky, to being on all-fours with my ass up in the air, until I was lying motionless on the floor, breathing heavily, heart pounding, sweat dripping from every pore.
Whoa, wait a minute. Before you go jumping to conclusions... I was just talking about... gasp... YOGA.
So it was in May that talks began on having yoga sessions for HIV-positives. Paulo Leonido, a certified yoga instructor and advocate, came up with the idea. With the help of some other Positivism friends, we fleshed it out. Another certified yoga instructor and advocate, Charmaine Cu-Unjieng, joined the team.
One problem we foresaw was that people wouldn’t want to attend something in which they’d automatically get labeled as HIV-positive. So to address that concern, instead of it being exclusively for HIV-positives, we decided to open it up to anyone who was interested. HIV-positives. Advocates. Our medical allies. Affected family. Friends.
So two weeks ago, the very first Yoga for Life was held. I invited some of the pozzie posse for the pilot session, and packed a change of clothes for myself that day. Of course, Murphy’s law took control. I got stuck in a one-to-sawa meeting at work, and despite cabbing to Ortigas, I was not surprisingly late. I snuck in, but was too ashamed of my tardiness that I decided against joining the session.
I just sat at the back with my favorite doctor friend who was playing GRO-slash-host for the event. While we were quietly chatting (like that’s possible, right?), trying not to disrupt the concentration in the room, I watched intently as the participants went through the motions. There were about 14 or so people there, most of whom I didn’t know. What I did know, though, was that not everyone there was HIV-positive. Cool.
BFF was there. I’mNotDyingI’mLiving was there. Some others who I knew. Others I didn’t. And I didn’t even have to know them. Nor their HIV-statuses. It was a don’t-ask-don’t-tell environment. It was a non-issue.
Seeing everyone in action, those who were doing well weren’t necessarily the ones who didn’t have the pozzie-secret. Interesting. And as for me, just sitting there watching all the contortion that was happening, I was left sweating. And panting. It was daunting. I was scared. I was suddenly relieved that I didn’t join.
Honestly, I’m a yoga virgin. Even if I do believe I am pretty fit, I haven’t really been active lately. Nothing more than the walking between transport hubs and work and home. Gym? Nope... too scared... and insecure. Back in school, I used to play soccer, volleyball, tennis and table tennis. I used to bowl and jog, too. I even used to dance, so I think I can be pretty flexible. But lately, ugh. Yoga was the farthest from my mind before this. Oh, maybe sexercise counts?
So after that first session, being one of those who kept inviting people to join Yoga for Life, I was sort of pressured to participate. I gotta walk my talk, right? So last week’s session, I vowed to be there. And not only be there, I vowed to yoga-ize myself.
And so I did. Despite raising my hand when our yogi Charmaine asked who were yoga virgins, I tried my best to keep up. In the middle of the first part, I found myself sweating profusely, worse than I’d seen anyone do in the pilot session. I was worried. I took time to look around, and was relieved to see others were sweating as well.
Poses. Stances. Holds. Stretches. Points. Flexes.
From something as simple as inhaling and exhaling, to something as difficult as being on your back trying to swing your legs over your head into a shoulder stand. Very Kamasutra. Honestly, that was the hardest part. During the pilot, I saw them try to do it, and I said to myself, “No fucking way.” But last week, I wouldn’t let the session pass without trying it. I get challenged too, ya know! So I got as far as trying. I didn’t quite get there, but I got to the next best option, having my legs up in the air. Whew. I’m a proud boi!
By the end of the session, the meditation part, I couldn’t help but appreciate the time we were given to just lie on the mat and rest every part of our bodies and even our minds. It was a good way to end the hour-long yoga session.
I was warned by BFF that my body would ache into the next day. The following morning, I proudly reported to him that I was a-okay. I, of course, spoke too soon. By that evening I could feel the burn. I was reminded I had muscles I’d forgotten I had. Abs. Shoulders. Triceps. Quads. It was a burn. But it was a good burn. I missed having this burn.
So there. I lost my virginity yet again... my yoga virginity. I’ve pretty much recovered from last week, but not in time to join the weekend yoga session. But as of this writing, I’m already on my 2-hour fast and looking forward to having my second yoga session in a couple of hours. Is it really good for me? Feels like it. Well, I’m now officially physically active. And I’m happy... as always!
And am I ready to ache again? Bring it on! I yearn for the burn! ROAR! Yoga for Life, here I come!
Yoga for Life sessions are held every Wednesday evenings in Ortigas, and Saturday afternoons in Makati. If you’re interested to join us, you may contact our yogi bear and babe, Paulo at comradepaw@gmail.com, and Charmaine at charmaine.cuunjieng@gmail.com for more details.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Self-Empowerment
Self-empowerment? A self-empowerment course? I admit, I was avoiding it. Why? Well, first, all the sharing and public speaking... stage fright galore. And second, I’ve seen the previous batch that supposedly underwent self-empowerment. Didn’t seem like it worked, not for everyone at least. In just the week after they did, all the drama, all the issues, all the arguments, all the bitterness, and all the negativity they were throwing around… even more than before... it made me skeptical of this self-empowerment thing. Seriously.
But thanks to being badgered by BFF and pressured by E, I got convinced to go. But I had a disclaimer beforehand... don’t be surprised if I end up scoffing and rolling my eyes the whole time. And I swore I wouldn’t cry as others had apparently done a lot of in the previous batch. Aside from there really being nothing to cry about, E would be there, and he’d mock me. Of course, I’d gladly do the same to him as well. Hehe.
So Saturday morning, anxious and over-packed as usual, I got schoolbussed to the venue with BFF and another guy by AA, who had attended the previous empowerment session. He told us about their experience, about the sharing and how physically and emotionally draining it would be and all... and already, I was dreading it.
This self-empowerment training had been done several times in the past before, but we were only the second batch since the National AIDS/STD Prevention and Control Program (NASPCP) of the DOH took it under its wing and funded it last month. Previously, it was just a philanthropic venture by volunteers and concerned people.
Getting to the hotel in Manila that would serve as venue, only E wasn’t there yet. The rest were already taking lunch. Passing the public announcement video system at the lobby, it was funny how the sponsors of our event were spelled out explicitly. Department of Health. Research Institute for Tropical Medicine. National Center for Disease Prevention and Control. National AIDS/STD Prevention and Control Program. Okay, a few inches short of disclosure, but fine, but no big deal.
We went up to the function room, signed in, and headed down to attack the buffet. There we found some of the other participants, my eldest kiddo, Lil Jenny, and PositiveEqualsRebirth were the some of the few familiar faces there. It was natural to stick to who you knew. The others were yet to be revealed. E showed up shortly, and we all took our time savoring the buffet of spring rolls, sautéed cabbage, lemon chicken, cream puffs and chocolate brownies.
After that, the training commenced. I’ll try not to make this too much of a spoiler for future attendees of the self-empowerment training, so please bear with me. Led by Doc Rita, who is incidentally the sister of our dear Doctor D at RITM, the session began with introductions all around and a getting-to-know-you activity at the same time. And then it got serious.
Part of getting to know each other was to come from learning about each others’ pasts. And revisiting childhood days, family life, till the present, including the time each one found out he was HIV-positive, was not an easy thing for some. This early, tears were shed. But the air of support, listening and openness we had was a nice ambience to be in for something like this.
It was then that we found how balanced a group we were. Though we were all male and all poz and all RITMers, that’s where the similarities ended. From newbies, months into the HIV journey, to not-so-newbies, already years past. From gay and bi guys, to some who were on the straight road or had vowed celibacy. From those gliding in acceptance, to some still wallowing in confusion, and even one intriguing guy who had gone through years of subscribing to AIDS denialism. Amazing. I was thrilled to meet my first AIDS denialist in person.
This first part took longer than expected. What normally took 3 hours for other groups, took us a record breaking 6½ hours! So record-breaking that we obviously stressed Doc Rita out And our record-breaking streak went on into the following activities. Enhancing self-image. Finding the power in you. Taking control of one’s life. Creating a healthy balance in life. Career planning. Appreciation of others.
So again, I wonder why the self-empowerment seminar didn’t seem to work for some from the last batch. Well, looking back after going through it myself, I realize you’re not expected to leave the seminar empowered. You’re just given the tools to work towards empowerment, and left with some questions for introspection. It will be up to you and what you do with them that will determine whether you get to empowerment or not.
And then, I believe, the foundation for self-empowerment lies in such simple things as openness, self-awareness and self-evaluation. If you’re not open, or are clueless of your concerns or what negativity it is you are feeling and what causes it, then the facilitator won’t be able to give you an objective evaluation of your situation. Am I making sense?
And finally… one last hunch. You know how being with certain friends makes it sometimes harder to be honest about how you really feel? Because they might make fun of you, or they’re fair-weather friends you’re only used to having fun times with?
I also believe that the composition of the group as a whole played a part. Having friends there is nice. But if having friends there makes you too self-conscious that you’d want to hold back information about yourself, then that won’t be a good thing since you won’t be able to paint a clear picture of yourself.
Our batch was not dominated by one single group... I mean, yeah, I was close to E, BFF, and my eldest kiddo among others, but we were a mere fraction of the 16 person group. Plus, we weren’t fair-weather friends nor the types to judge each other. We actually know more than our TMI share about each other. No reputations to ruin, no pride to swallow, no shame to dread.
So there, I think that’s as much as I can reveal. Empowering? Not automatically. But you should have learned something. You should at least come out of it a better person. If you come out even worse than you were going in… more negative, more of a drama queen, more issue-laden... then something definitely went wrong... or something’s wrong with you. So nega-monsters... check yourselves.
Two days, just 6 hours of sleep, a lot of yummy food, and around eighteen hours of seminar later, it was time to go home. Met new friends. Learned new things. Left with some work to do... on myself and on the world. Empowered? I will be. Definitely.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The Cocky Asian
I’d been messaging with a European guy a couple of months ago, with him planning a trip to Manila in May. Physically, from pictures and descriptions, there was chemistry. And it was mutual, too. He liked me and I liked him. Sexually, we were a match. When the time came that I was convinced that he indeed was coming and that it wasn’t just a prank, I had to tell him that I was HIV-positive. Well, okay, I didn’t have to tell him, but I wanted to, so he could take that factor into consideration. I was prepared for any response. But I was hoping for the best.
I won’t deny that I’ve done it with men of different nationalities. I may even be too proud. I remember, during my pre-test counseling, that was among the questions asked… what the nationalities of my sex partners were aside from Pinoy. I listed them down proudly, from Asians all the way to Caucasians. Hell, I didn’t care about being thought of as a global slut. At least I told the truth, right?
So far, with my non-Pinoy conquests, the Caucasians in particular, I’ve had a pretty good record in the sex-to-HIV field. It just really seems that they’re more open-minded about the issue. A couple of them were okay with it, even if we had unprotected sex prior to finding out I was HIV-positive. They even made it known that they still wanted to have sex with me. Hmm, haba ng hair...
I think the worst reaction was from one American guy who went into panic. What if I am sick?, What if lose my job?, and I’d rather die! were among the hysterics that he gave me. He pushed me away. But shortly after, he made his presence felt again, apologizing and revealing that he was actually in a long term relationship with someone who was HIV-positive, too. I never did figure him out.
Even now, I still touch base with a number of foreigners who find me online and who still look forward to meeting, mating and more with me, even after disclosing my HIV-status. Potential meets and mates in the future. And knowing me, right now single and all, I’m game.
And so... back to my story. Last week, I was in touch with my European guy, as he shared his itinerary with me, laying out the days we could possibly meet. And finally, last weekend, the fateful day came. Would it push through? Or would it fall through?
I had to work overtime last weekend, a one-to-sawa meeting that was to taunt my pending date. With just half an hour to spare before our agreed time, I was off. I rushed home to freshen up, and zoomed off into the night headed for the guy’s hotel. I was so fast that I left my mom wondering what could cause me to pop in and out of the house with such speed.
Already late, I took a cab straight to my destination. I got there and asked the receptionist to buzz his room. He asked me to wait, he’d fetch me at the lobby. So I sat and waited. Odd. I wasn’t nervous. I usually am on first meets like this. Really odd.
I heard steps coming down the stairs, and there he was, the same as he looked in his pictures. He led me up to his room, stepped in, as we both plopped onto his bed. He offered me a drink as we got to getting to know each other. And as casually as we were talking, so did our hands start groping. One thing led to another... and another... and another.
Indeed, the virtual chemistry we’d established chatting, messaging and e-mailing were expectations we did live up to, kink and all. And with that, I added one more to my list of nationalities. Yes, I had my German sausage. The issue of safer sex was addressed by the fact that he was mostly into oral... making it relatively safer... and he was an oral-inserter at that, meaning he preferred to be the one getting blown... making it relatively safer again. Take note, I use the words “relatively safer”, as oppose to being absolutely safe.
But as if that wasn’t enough, he surprised me again when he performed some oral on me as well. I appreciated it, but before long, we turned back to our preferred roles. Soon, the scents of steam, sweat and sperm filled the room, and we were spent.
As we cooled off, we got back to talking... about everything under the sun. From work, to family to our motherlands, to his Philippine experience, and other stuff. Of course, we touched on my HIV experience as well, and he expressed how appreciative he was of my honesty with my status, and I expressed my appreciation of how open-minded he was. After over an hour of conversing, we were both ready to call it a night. So I showered and headed on home.
The following day, we were still in touch, and there were plans to meet that night again. The plan didn’t push through though, because we both took the time to rest for our big tomorrows… him for his early flight home, and me for the start of another work week. But at least the desire to meet again was there. Argh, the sex... ahh, I mean the chemistry was that good!
Was it the fact that he was Caucasian? Well, probably not that in particular. I’m not particularly what they'd call a Potato Queen. I'm just a cocky Asian. Hehehe. Although, I do remember an American friend of mine tell me that I was the type who matched well with Caucasians, himself included. Because I’m open-minded? Maybe. My dry humor? Possibly. Hmm, wait... mukha ba akong katulong? Just kidding... let’s call it... exotic. Hahaha.
So once again, I proved that HIV-positives can still have sex. Safer sex, but hot sex nonetheless. And I do believe it factored in significantly that I was not burdened by the need to be carrying my HIV baggage at the back of my head the whole time, and that we were both completely consensual to everything that happened that evening.
So there. Disclosure of my HIV-positive status isn’t exactly damaging my sexlife. Not even with those who are negative. Just the way it should be, with Caucasians or otherwise. That’s what safer sex is for. Hopefully more Filipinos will follow suit. Let’s prove that this kind of knowledge, power, acceptance, openness and awareness isn’t something that only Caucasians are capable of.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Mr. Mouth Down South
It was a typical Friday. A hot, humid, but thank-God-it’s-Friday Friday. I got to work early, and was texting with one of my “kids”-to-be. We had been in touch, and I first met him when I invited him for my birthday dinner earlier this month. I had promised to bring him to RITM to be registered, a promise that became urgent Friday as he told me he had a bad cough, a high fever, and was throwing up what he was eating. I was, of course, worried.
So I texted Ate, telling her about his condition, and asking for advice. She told me to bring him in ASAP, so he could be checked and medicated properly, and to make sure he wasn’t getting dehydrated. Okay. Considering it as an emergency, I left work early and met with my newest “kid”-to-be to take the trip to Alabang. It was late afternoon already, and I needed to text Ate that we were on our way, requesting for her to wait for us.
Getting there, we got first dibs with Ate. Seemed like everyone who went for check-ups were done already. The only other people there were those who were going to join the out-of-town for Doc’s birthday. I had no plans of going, first, because I was going to be on call for work this weekend due to an urgent account, and more importantly, a friend was in town from Germany, and we had agreed on this weekend to meet up and...
While my “kid” was in session with the doctor, I was chatting it up with one of the pusettes – female pusit? – someone who I really didn’t know well or talk to a lot, but to whom I made a mark when I gave her what condoms I had the last time I saw her, since she had plans to do “it” with her boyfriend. Hehehe. Funny, she put me on the spot about what happened to me and Papi, something that I myself couldn’t say and didn’t know. So I just told her to ask him herself.
So anyway, another group of guys was in the room, those who were going to Doctora’s birthday thingy. And then it started. I got asked if I was going. And then I got asked why I wasn’t. No, I wasn’t asked, I was attacked... by Mr. Mouth. When Mr. Mouth talks, he... really... talks. Ears bleed.
With a screech of a voice, Mr. Mouth was attacking me about why “we” aren’t participative, asking why “we” were letting off an exclusive and elusive vibe. We? We?! He, of course, was referring to my little pozzie posse. And even as I denied that “we” had any issues with “them”, he just wouldn’t stop badgering, going as far as saying “Eh, baket may chismis?”
Rumors? Oh please, grow up. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. He was getting on my nerves already, and I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “Eh kasi chismosa ka, kaya siguro may chismis.” I was half joking, but half just putting him in his right place.
At that point, I knew I didn’t need to defend myself. I was there to accompany my newbie and nothing else. And if not for this newbie, I wouldn’t even be there on that day and at that time in the first place. I would be working. So I focused on my newbie and just let the freakish voice go in one ear and out the other.
Our group? My pozzie posse? What’s the issue? While our “group” is a group, we are individuals. We are not clones of each other. We each have a mind to make decisions. We do not need to conspire about who and what we like. Each is entitled to his own opinions. Now if we just happened to not be at a certain event at the same time, or not be particularly drawn to the same person, it’s all coincidence.
The truth was, I did know that at least two of us were going, E and my eldest pozzie kid. But, again, I didn’t need to defend myself with that fact. The same way he didn’t need to insinuate his baseless accusations.
So just shut the hell up, Mr. Mouth. And as for the intrigues, cut your crap. Get a life... a life of your own. Consider this: the world does not revolve around you. If you think we have issues with you or whoever, then that’s your issue. You deal with it.
Wow, I was amazed. This person actually had the gall to show that he thought everything was about him. I won’t even hope that his “group” thinks the same way, or that he was speaking on their behalf. Everything was just about him, and “his group”. Amazing, amazing, amazing. So maybe that’s the problem? Is it just me, or does anyone else have issues with attention whores?
Anyhoo, from there, I managed to escape the clutches of Mr. Mouth. Away from the south, and away from the mouth, my new bunso and I headed off back north. He was just advised to stop what medication he was taking, try to rustle up a nebulizer in the meantime, and go back this coming week for his baseline tests.
As for me, I purged the negativity that I got showered with at the RITM, and just focused on staying positive for my newbie. And as for Mr. Mouth, I don’t look forward to seeing him again... or hearing him again for that matter. Here’s my foot... shove it. Oh, on second thought, EWWWWW. I wouldn't want to get my foot dirty. He can use his own.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
High in the Viral Sky
As if health and well-being aren't huge enough concerns for someone living with HIV, somehow, the potential to go places is also a concern to many.
Yes, were talking travel here. Aside from exploring the leisure and adventure that lie beyond the Philippine shores, for some, it is the chance to work abroad and graze the greener pastures that may be bigger concerns.
Personally, I'm not too alarmed by the possible restrictions this virus may have on me when it comes to travel. But thanks to a new friend, who is himself awaiting confirmatory results and raising such concerns, I decided to revisit the stuff I'd read about HIV travel restrictions.
So prepare for information overload. Here's what I found...
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There are no restrictions for Albania, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Eritrea, Estonia, Ethiopia, France, Ghana, Guatemala, Guinea, Ireland, Macedonia, Madagascar, Malta, Monaco, Morocco, Mozambique, Myanmar, Namibia, Nepal, Netherlands, Portugal, Slovenia, Switzerland, Tanzania, Thailand, Togo, Tunisia, Venezuela, Zambia, and Zimbabwe.
There are no restrictions for/on entry for Argentina, Austria, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Cambodia, Chile, Georgia, Honduras, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Kosovo, Laos, Latvia, Lesotho, Libya, Liechtenstein, Luxemburg, Malawi, Maldives, Mexico, Nigeria, Pakistan, Turkey, Uruguay and the Virgin Islands.
There are no entry restrictions for people living with HIV for Bosnia-Herzegovina, Brazil, Cote d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast), Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Senegal, Swaziland, Sweden and the United Kingdom.
There is currently no information for Bahamas, Barbados, Guyana and Slovakia.
Below are the travel regulations for other countries with more specific stipulations:
Algeria
No restrictions for entry, but HIV test mandatory if applying for residence permit.
Angola
No restrictions for entry, but HIV tests required for all foreigners applying for work or residence visas.
Armenia
Although there are no restrictions on entry, foreigners in the country who are found to be HIV-positive may be deported.
Aruba
No restrictions on entry, but HIV testing is required for intending immigrants.
Australia
No restrictions for entry, but HIV tests required for foreign nationals who wish to settle in Austalia. HIV tests are required for foreigners who want to immigrate permanently to Australia.
Bahrain
No restrictions for tourists, but pre-employment HIV tests for foreign workers.
Bangladesh
No restrictions on entry, but deportation possible if a person if found to have HIV whilst in the country.
Belarus
No restriction for tourist visits of under three months. All persons staying longer than three months must produce evidence of their HIV status.
Belize
No restrictions for entry, HIV tests required for those seeking work or residence permits.
Benin
No restrictions for short-time tourist stays. HIV testing required for work or residence permits.
Bolivia
No restrictions for entry or residence, but HIV tests required for intending immigrants.
Botswana
No restrictions for entry. HIV testing required from students beginning their studies.
Brunei
No testing for short-term tourist stays, but people with HIV are not permitted entry. HIV tests are required for those seeking work and residence permits.
Bulgaria
No restrictions for entry, but HIV tests required for foreigners who wish to stay longer than 30 days.
Burkina Faso
There are no entry restrictions for HIV-positive persons. However, in order to obtain an entry visa, foreigners must be vaccinated against yellow fever, a live vaccine which is not recommended for those with compromised immunity.
Burundi
No restrictions for HIV-positive people. Proof of yellow fever vaccination required.
Cameroon
No restrictions for entry, but yellow fever vaccination certificate required.
Canada
No restrictions for short-term tourist visits. Mandatory HIV testing of all prospective immigrants occurs.
China
The situation is unclear. China has said that it will remove entry restrictions for people with HIV, but in the summer of 2008 random checks were still being conducted. HIV tests required for a work permit.
Colombia
No information for short-term visits. A medical certificate is required for those who are applying for a long stay visa, work permit or residency.
Costa Rica
No entry restrictions for short-term visits.
Cuba
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV tests required for students seeking a scholarship in Cuba. HIV tests required for renewal of residency permit.
Cyprus
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV test required for residency, work and study.
Dominican Republic
No restrictions for entry, but HIV tests is required for residency.
Ecuador
No restrictions for entry. Those applying for a long-term residency are normally requested to test for HIV.
Egypt
No restrictions for short-term tourist visits. HIV tests required for study and work permits.
Fiji
No reliable information about entry for short-term visits. HIV tests required for visits lasting over five months.
Finland
No restrictions. However, a residence permit may be denied to a foreigner thought to be a threat to public health.
Gabon
No restrictions for entry, yellow fever vaccination required.
Germany
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV tests required in some states for stays lasting over three months.
Greece
No entry restrictions. Sex workers wishing to work in Greece are the only group tested. If positive, a sex work permit will be refused, but free HIV treatment will be offered.
Haiti
No HIV testing on entry.
Hungary
No restrictions for short-term tourist stays. No HIV testing on entry. An HIV test is required for anyone who wants to stay in the country for more than one year. Additionally, some employers may require their staff to undergo HIV testing.
Iran
No restrictions for European nationals visiting for tourism or business for under three months. Foreign nationals intending to work in Iran or to stay for more than three months must produce an HIV test certificate.
Iraq
HIV tests are required for those wishing to visit for more than ten days.
Israel
No restrictions for entry. Migrants from endemic countries must have an HIV test, as must migrant workers.
Jordan
No restrictions for stays of 30 days or less. HIV tests required for stays of over two months or for work or residence permits.
Kazakhstan
No restrictions for short-term visits, but HIV test required for work or residence permit.
Kenya
No restrictions for entry, proof of yellow fever vaccination may be required.
Korea, Democratic People’s Republic
There is no legal provision regarding the entry of people with HIV. Not everybody is requested to present a medical certificate or a specific document of an AIDS examination when entering the country. However, if a person’s HIV-positive status becomes known, he/she is sent back to his/her country of origin. The reason given for this is the lack of experience with HIV and the lack of treatment options.
Korea, South
The South Korean government has announced that entry restrictions on the basis of HIV status have been lifted, effective from January 1st 2010. Prior to this development, “People with HIV are not permitted to enter the country. However, for a stay of up to three months, it is not mandatory to prove one’s HIV status (for those visitors who do not require a visa). There are controls at the border regarding the HIV status. If a person’s HIV-positive status becomes known, he/she is expelled.”
Kuwait
No HIV testing is required for visitors or business travellers. The visa application for a long-term stay requires a doctor’s certificate. In the case of an HIV infection, no visa is granted.
Kyrgyzstan
All foreigners excluding diplomats staying more than one month are required to provide evidence of their HIV status.
Lebanon
No restrictions for short-term visits. Anyone planning to live or work in Lebanon must undergo an HIV test.
Lithuania
No restrictions for entry, but HIV test may be required for applicants for permanent residence permits.
Malaysia
No restrictions for entry for short-term visits. HIV tests required for some workers.
Mali
No restrictions for entry, but yellow fever vaccination required.
Marshall Islands
No restrictions for short-term visits, but HIV test may be required for visits over 30 days.
Mauritius
No information about short-term visits, but it is thought that there are likely to be few problems. HIV test required for foreign nationals who want to work in Mauritius or who apply for permanent residence.
Micronesia
No restrictions for entry. Anyone staying over 90 days is required to undergo an HIV test.
Mongolia
No information about short-term visits, but few problems anticipated. Tests required for longer visits or work, residence or study permits.
Moldavia
Foreign nationals who are HIV positive are not allowed to enter Moldavia. A medical certificate is required on entry, although tourists are exempt. In addition, foreign tourists need to pass a health exam conducted by the Moldavian Health Authorities. Such a certificate is also necessary if a foreign national wishes to get married in Moldavia. HIV testing is required of anybody wishing to stay longer than three months.
Mongolia
A test result is requested on entry. However, this law is apparently not applied. Foreign students must have an HIV test on arrival, repeated several months later. Foreigners staying longer than 30 days may also be required to undergo testing, though this is not an official law and is only selectively applied.
Montserrat
No restrictions for entry. Foreign nationals, including university students who are applying for or renewing work or residence must produce a negative HIV certificate.
New Zealand
No restrictions for stays of up to three months. From early 2005, New Zealand started undertaking HIV screening for migrants. The full set of changes, including screening for HIV, and a wider and updated set of tests for other expensive-to-treat conditions, was implemented for people seeking to be in New Zealand for longer than twelve months.
Nicaragua
No restrictions for short-term stays. For stays of more than three months, the residence permit has to be extended by the immigration authorities. In this case, the presentation of a medical certificate is requested. Extended residency will only exceptionally be granted to HIV-positive people.
Niger
No restrictions for entry, but HIV tests required for foreign nationals seeking to marry citizens of Niger.
Norway
No restrictions for entry. Persons who stay in Norway for longer than three months are offered a tuberculosis test and an HIV test, in order to arrange for any necessary treatment as quickly as possible.
Oman
No HIV test required for tourists. HIV tests for work or residence permits.
Panama
No restrictions for short-term visits. An HIV test certificate is required of foreign nationals wishing to stay for more than one year.
Papua New Guinea
No HIV test required for short-term visits, but required if applying for a work permit.
Paraguay
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV test required for residency.
Peru
No entry restrictions. Those wishing to obtain a Peruvian marriage certificate are required to take an HIV test.
Philippines
No restrictions for short-term tourist stays.
Poland
No restrictions for short-term stays. Mandatory HIV tests for mothers or babies suspected to have HIV and who wish to stay for three months or longer.
Qatar
No HIV testing on entry. However, people whose HIV-status is known to the authorities are refused entry. Applicants for a work or residence permit must present a negative HIV test certificate (the date of the certificate must not be older than six months).
Romania
No restrictions, but HIV test required for a marriage license.
Russian Federation
No restrictions for entry for stays up to three months. Students and foreign employees staying longer than three months must have an HIV test.
Rwanda
There are no restriction entries to people living with HIV. However in the case of serious illness permission can be refused.
St Kitts and Nevis
Foreign nationals seeking permanent residence, undertaking study and those applying for work permits may be asked to undertake an HIV test.
Saudi Arabia
Very likely to be no problems for short-term visits, but HIV tests required for long-term work permits.
Seychelles
No restrictions for tourist visits. HIV test for work permit.
Singapore
No restrictions for short-term tourist stays lasting up 30 days. HIV testing for longer stays.
Solomon Islands
Entry can be denied if it becomes known, that the person in question has an infectious disease.
South Africa
No restrictions for tourists with HIV.
Spain
No restrictions for short-term visits.
Sri Lanka
No specific entry regulations for people with HIV. No questions asked about HIV on entry. However in cases in which an HIV infection is suspected, foreign nationals may be denied entry.
Sudan
Officially, people with HIV are not granted a visa and are not permitted to enter Sudan. A negative HIV test result must be presented at a Sudanese embassy or at Khartoum airport in order to obtain a visa. However, these regulations are unlikely to be carried out.
Syria
Foreign nationals applying for work permits and foreign students must undergo an HIV test at one of three specified centres in Syria. A foreigner wishing to marry a Syrian national is required to take an HIV test.
Syria
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV test required for individuals aged 15 - 50 who require a residence permit or to settle in Syria.
Tadjikistan
No evidence of HIV testing to entry. HIV testing is required for stays of more than 90 days.
Taiwan
No short-term restrictions. An HIV test result must be presented by anyone wishing to stay longer than 90 days or applying for a residence or work permit.
Tonga
No restrictions for short-term visits, but HIV test required for visits lasting five months or more.
Trinidad and Tobago
All foreign nationals applying for residence or to stay more than one year must undergo a medical examination. Those found to be HIV–positive will be refused permission to stay.
Turks and Caicos
No restrictions for short-term visits. All foreign nationals applying for work and residence permits must have a medical examination on arrival, including an HIV test.
Turkmenistan
No restrictions for short-term tourist stays. A positive test result may, however, lead to deportation.
Uganda
No restrictions for short-term visits.
Ukraine
No restrictions for short-term visits. HIV tests required for foreign nationals wishing to remain beyond three months.
United Arab Emirates
HIV tests are required for entry, but short-term visits are possible because there are no checks at borders. HIV test required for residence.
United States of America
The long-standing US HIV travel ban has ended, with effect from January 4th 2010.
Uzbekistan
No restrictions for visits of up to 90 days. HIV-negative certificate required for visits over three months.
Vietnam
No specific entry or residence restrictions for people with HIV/AIDS. However the Vietnamese law requires HIV positive people to report to the health control authorities on entry.
Yemen
Entry will not be granted if the authorities are aware an individual is HIV-positive. A negative test result has to be presented for stays of more than one month or applying for residence.
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So there. If you really think about it, it's not like being HIV-positive leaves you tied to your motherland. A lot of possibilities still remain at your fingertips. For more information, visit the websites of NAMLIFE and HIVTravel.
So indeed, it may seem that having the HIV bomb dropped on you may feel like someone clipped your wings, but really, you just gotta realize that you still can soar, and soar high.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Hot Weekend
Fine, my birthday is over. But was it over when it was supposed to be? The truth is, unlike any other in previous years, my birthday this year sort of got an extension of sorts. I mean, yeah, I did have a "celebration" somehow on the day itself, but the celebrations didn't end there. It leached on into the weekend. The hot weekend. The hot birthday weekend.
For the first time ever I think, I had a day blocked off for a birthday treat. I mean back when I was still in school, my birthday didn’t count because it would always be summer vacation. When I started working, there would always be birthday leaves set aside. And for other persons in my life, there actually came a time when I’d hibernate for the whole day and just be by myself.
I know it sounds pathetic, but I’d disappear, stay unreachable, and just space out. It wasn’t that I was lonely, I just really loved being alone. Plus, the fact that I hated attention. The worst that I had done on a birthday? There was one year that I left the house early, checked into a motel for a whole day, and in a series, watched porn, jerked off, showered, slept, and repeated. Till the night crept in and I headed home. Needless to say that was one draining birthday.
This year would be different. Thanks to LuckyTrese who almost never let a day pass without asking when and where my birthday blowout would be. Fine. A blowout once every 32 years isn’t bad at all, right?
So Saturday was the day, and it was to be a pozzie day. I met with BFF at the MRT, and headed on south in the afternoon heat. We made a stopover to pick up a newbie who I was to be meeting for the first time. And from there, we headed to Mall of Asia.
One by one, people showed up. My pozzie grandkid, a couple of my pozzie kids, my pozzie parent, and pozzie bloggers LuckyTrese, E, APositivePointOfView and RecordBreaker. All generations well represented. Sounded like we were a lot but had everyone invited showed up, we may have just doubled in number. Agh.
We had dinner. Italian, because I said so. A tomato based penne, a pesto spaghetti, and a couple of pizzas, bacon cheeseburger and double anchovy. Yum. Of course some of us got their fill just eyeing all the hot boys in the resto. Shameless, shameless, shameless. But allowed. Hehe.
From there, we took a stroll back and forth down the baywalk. Not realizing that no one had any idea where we were going. Finally, our gala boys decided to head to Malate. We left E behind, who was heading out of town that same evening. I was really glad he showed up, late but nonetheless. Oh and E’s gift, a little figurine with my picture and the words “Sexy Star” on it? Priceless. E... such an a-hole. Hehehe.
With his spot quickly filled by a new negative friend standing in for his unconfirmed-pozzie friend, we were off to Malate. We were conveniently approached by a driver who offered to take all ten of us. Considering the long queue for taxis, we took it. And this driver was something. We weren’t conscious about getting all homo with him, but amazingly, he was riding along. Type ni manong si Derek Ramsay! Tarush!
Malate. A nice, cool, chill bar served as our refuge, as we made the most of the final hours before the upcoming election’s liquor ban kicked in. I just had a couple of bottles of Red Horse. Others had their own concoctions. A couple stuck with non-alcoholic drinks. And almost all quenched their thirst with more eye candy. Hot stuff. Hehehe.
I think it was before midnight that we hit a fork in the road. One group would go on partying into the wee hours, and the other would head home. I, of course, headed home. ARVs, two bottles of beer, and going way past my bedtime did it for me. Slept like a baby.
Sunday was no rest day. I had lunch with the extended family. Nope, not for my birthday, but a combination of Mother’s Day and my mom’s 60th birthday. Wow, 60. Senior citizen. She now qualifies as my dependent. I wonder if she’d be comfortable being a dependent of someone who would also technically qualify to have a disability? Hmm.
Anyhoo, again, several generations were there, from my grandmother to my cousin’s daughter. I made the most of the buffet lunch, chowing down on four platefuls of such viands as lasagna, tempura, baked potato, and sushi. Worth it, except when, at the end of the meal, a cousin asks me why I seemed so thin. After eating all that? What was I supposed to say?
The rest of the day, I declared too hot to move. Didn’t even want to go to the mall. Just stayed home and slept. Ran a few errands as the sun set. And a quick go-see with BFF in the evening. I needed to save my energy for the next day. It was, after all, going to be election day.
Woke up early the next day. I was ready, actually excited, to vote. My mom and I took the two minute walk to the polling precinct thirty minutes before it was set to open. Credit that for my being number 7 to vote. We beat all the lines, and were done in about 5 minutes. All went well, except for the more than generous amount of indelible ink I got. Indelible AND incredible. And then it was hot again.
But surprisingly, something got me to brave the heat. I got a text message at around 10:00 am, from someone saying he was horny and asking if I was free. This was an old buddy, who I’d been successfully avoiding during the time I thought I was in a relationship. Now that I was single, what was to stop me?
So in fifteen minutes, I was off on a short walk to his place. It may have been a year since I last saw him. Sat down, talked a bit, caught up, and then the clothes came off. I was almost sure I was going to enjoy with this guy, because I did every time before. It was always fun, with no inhibitions nor strings attached, and we were just such a perfect sexual match. Both the bottom and the cumeater in me were always happy. Teehee. I know, TMI.
And with a Wham! Bam! Thank you, man!, I was outta there in less than an hour. So I was bad. I was really bad. But it was good. It was really, really good. Another good drizzle to end an 8 month drought. A good, long, hot, sticky drizzle to cap off the hot weekend.
I... had... sex. Gasp. Right now, I just consider it as one of my birthday gifts to myself. Having safe fun... being carefree... giving in… for now. But at some point, I will really need to take a good look at myself and decide where I’m taking this.
Right now, I can feel the old B.I.T.C.H. creeping in. Pre-HIV. The B.I.T.C.H. who enjoyed sex a lot. The B.I.T.C.H. who could handle 6 guys in one session. The B.I.T.C.H. who had as many as three separate sessions in a day. The B.I.T.C.H. whose record was having 100 guys in the span of 4 months. I amaze even myself.
I could go back there. But do I really want to? Do I really need to? Think, think, think.
I’m not saying sex is a no-no. I’ve always said that even HIV-positives can have sex... safe sex, or course. But if I just really needed to release the sexual tension, my right hand is always on call, right? I just don’t want to find myself using sex as too much of an escape. I don’t want to catch myself playing with others’ emotions. A predator, I refuse to be. An opportunist, I am not. Pure evil, far from it. But an angel, I am not either. I still absolutely love sex.
And with that, my long, busy, hot birthday weekend came to an end. Hot. Really hot. Till next year. Maybe it’ll get... even hotter.
