Yes, I'm gay. I probably was since the day I was born. On my 21st birthday, I sort of had my debut. I came out to my parents. A little drama from mom, and some indifference from dad. An above-average coming out. Almost perfect.

Nine years later, two weeks before my 30th birthday, I found out... I'M HIV POSITIVE.

And so my story begins... I'm BACK IN THE CLOSET.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Life Begins at 30

red ribbonA month ago, I went for my first voluntary HIV test. Not for any significant reason. Not really feeling anything unusual. Just was gutsy enough to face a doctor, maybe. Brave enough to get over my fear of needles, too. Just curious enough to give it a go.

It took longer than usual, but two weeks later, I was informed I could drop by to get my results. And yes, I did have enough guts left to face the doctor for what I thought would be the last time for some time. But... it was not to be.

Positive. I'M HIV POSITIVE.

Call me PinoyPoz. I'm turning 30 in less than a week, and I'm HIV positive. And so, my story begins. And... I dare say... that my life is about to begin... at 30.

15 comments:

PinoyPoz said...

Welcome to "Back In The Closet"!

Edik said...

i don't know how to say the right words, but i believe you have my support.

i will be promoting your site for others to read.

friends?

PinoyPoz said...

Thanks Edik. That would truly help. I think support is the right word. I personally do not need any negativity, nor pity. And hopefully through this blog, I hope I can share and be of support to others, be it through reassurance to fellow pozzies, and awareness to those who are not. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Hello: I stumbled upon your blog and i read your story. Well these things happen to people, whether they are good or bad. Now that you have this confirmation from the medical experts, i believe that there's nothing we can do to turn back time. It is best that you keep a positive attitude in life. I believe that you have moral support from your friends and family. You can also count on strangers like me for support, a listening ear and a comforting cyber-arm. Its okay, everything has its purpose; it will be a difficult journey but with a strong faith and nice attitude towards life, this storm shall pass too. Keep the faith alive and live well my friend. I wish you all the best.

Daniel

Baklang AJ said...

I admire you for your courage and I applaud this effort of sharing and giving support to others, not only HIV+ people but those who aren't but remain in the dark (deliberately or not) about it.

Mabuhay ka!

PinoyPoz said...

Thanks, baklang aj! And thanks too for including this blog in your "Bakla’s Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs of 2008"... Truly truly humbling. Thank you.

Lex Bonife said...

Hi pinoypoz,

I am Lex Bonife. I'm a screenwriter. HIV awareness is one of my advocacies.

I'm very interested to write a material on HIV just to remind other gay men about this issue.

I have long wanted to research but I am at a loss. I'd like to write a story on the lives of positive Filipinos.

Any ideas on how to go about this? Thank you very much.

Lex Bonife
lexbonife@yahoo.com

PinoyPoz said...

Thank you Lex for taking time to stumble onto this blog. I am still no expert on living the poz life, but I guess I can offer what little I know about walking the path. I'll be in touch through e-mail. Thanks again.

dodong said...

This one is for you. Take care my friend.

http://dodongpasaway.blogspot.com/2008/08/back-in-closet_25.html

PinoyPoz said...

Thanks Dodong!

sean said...

hi pinoypoz, found ur blog thru mgg, i dont know what to say, just be strong. hug kita!

PinoyPoz said...

thanks!!! no words needed... hugs are enough! :-) what's mgg btw?

ryan said...

may bf is also positive for a year now... we been together for more than 3 years now... he is just 22 years old now.. thanks for sharing your thoughts.. i will try to back read everything you wrote.. to learn..

Anonymous said...

im 20 and i am hiv positive. spotty lumps in my inguinal area, under my upper arm near kilikili, and palpable lymph nodes (small size) at the back of my ears. those are unusual and are never normal... i was tested positive... =( maybe i got in the emergency room during my clinical trial routine and i was pricked by a needle.. or in the delivery ward where i used to handle births. i really dont know. not through sexual coz ive never engaged in any sexual practice.

edward said...

hello pinoy poz. i watched the documentary on hiv at gma-7. you jave my support in fighting this condition. i am glad that you still got the power to stand and live a life. i dare say that you've overcome the hardest part of being an hiv postive. hope you become an inspiration to all of us. take care always...